Post # 1
I am having quite a bit more trouble than I expected from two of my “older” bridesmaids. They are the only two who have not ordered their dresses and I recently found out why. Apparently they have been telling everyone else under the sun that they “don’t want to buy the dresses if the wedding isn’t going to happen.” This greatly discourages me. It make me FURIOUS. There is nothing that my FI and I have done to give anyone the right to question our marriage. Number 1 they should have come to me if they had any problems, not ran to everyone else. I found out from my hairdresser. Someone I see only when I need my hair trim or eyebrows done. When I first heard about it, I wanted to immediately call them and tell them I don’t want them to be in my bridal party anymore. Then I began to simmer down and got my wits about me. I realized I needed to sit down and talk to them because in the game of telephone, lots of things are distorted.
Have you had to deal with anything like this? How did you push through?
Post # 3
I think you are right to settle down first and think about what you want to say and ask them. You need to talk to the two of them in person and ask them why they haven’t bought the dresses and that you have heard from other people that they do not think the wedding will happen. If they confirm that they do not want to buy until they know for sure then I would ask them to step down because you should have people stand beside you who don’t think the marriage will even take place! Good luck, and I’m sorry you have to deal with this!!!!
Post # 4
Relax, remember it could all be HEARSAY you would not want to lose a strong friendship like the one you have . You selected your Bridal party because these were the ladies that you love, cherish, and can trust as friends.
My suggestion is : Meet them face to face, because like you stated “telephone calls can be destorted.” However, start with something positive like just wanted to touch bases on your dresses if you have bought them and go from there . Ask them if they are other reasons that you need to know besides the hearsay they are hearing that has prevented them from purchasing their dresses.
They might be hearing Hearsay if you have not personally mentioned any conflicts between you and your FH if there is any.
BE nice, polite, and listen
Post # 5
Thank you both for your comments. I do believe I will sit down with them individually and ask them if there’s anything they feel the need to ask or why they have not yet purchased the dresses. Thanks again!
Post # 6
Woah. Ya. I would definitely get my back up if I heard that too. You’re absolutely right to wait and calm down, and then yes, I would talk to them face to face about this. Hopefully there has been some kind of game of broken telephone here and something got lost in translation, otherwise I’m with you and I’d excuse them from the bridal party. Give them the benefit of the doubt though and see what happens…
Post # 7
I totally hear you with bridesmaids drama, my wedding is sept 4th and i just had to buy my maid of honor and her son, my godson, the ring bearers tickets to make sure theyd be here. Now ive got her and the other 2 crying about money for shoes the hotel room i already friggen reserved for them, thought i was doin them a favor, my b. Meanwhile, ive been out of work since may 30, broke my ankle, dislocated it, broke my leg, i dont have the money to help them, if i was still working no problem, just to shut them up. BUT seeing as im scraping to get buy, wtf do they think im gonna do? they knew these things needed to be bought and i wasnt doin it, so, they decide to make me regret my choices that much more and they say its cuz for a minute, i wasnt sure if i could do it. im still on board and its a bitch getting them on the same friggen boat. thanks for letting me vent, and i hear yah, its so not easy being a bride. good luck with them, and im sure hopefully theyll get their heads outta their asses, still got my fingers crossed that mine will too.