Bridesmaid Trouble – Need Advice

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
4933 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

christineandewedding:  You don’t break the news to her. You just never ask her instead. If she asks you why she’s not a bridesmaid, shes the one being rude and you can simply say you couldnt choose another bridesmaid (or if you’re having even numbers, etc. etc.). 

Trust me – you do NOT want to have a bridesmaid that’s going to give you shit. I had one and a lot of my memories are how she tried to ruin the shower…the bachelorette…and then was a total bitch at/after the wedding. If I were you, I’d much rather deal with “drama” now than on your wedding day. 

Post # 3
Member
2812 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Maybe have her read a poem or something during the ceremony? That way she isn’t a bridemaid but still feels honored?

Post # 4
Member
2679 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I agree with above, just don’t ask! If she makes a big deal about it (and you can) say that you were forced to add “insert family member here” and you want to keep the sides even.

Post # 5
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2025

christineandewedding:  Just don’t ask her? If she asks you about it, just tell her you can’t have another bridesmaid. Granted you don’t even like her that much! Why torture yourself in exchange for preserving your FI and his groomsman’s relationship? They’re big boys now 😀 

Post # 6
Member
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I agree with the posters above. Just don’t ask. 

I’m in a similar situation. My FI’s best friend/best man’s wife has assumed since she knew our relationship was serious, that she would be a bridesmaid. Made a lot of jokes about being MOH since her husband was obviously going to be best man.

I ultimately asked her because I needed one more person and I know I’ll be around her a lot in the future. We’re still early in the engagement so no telling how well this works out. I’m nervous because she can be very dramatic. Oh well… it is what it is

Post # 11
Member
7807 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Do not give in on this or you will regret it garaunteed. Just don’t ask her. If she awkardly rudely brings it up to you say, “sorry to disappoint but I only chose my few closest friends and family but we can’t wait to celebrate wih you”

Post # 12
Member
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

christineandewedding:  Yeah.. in my situation they are already married and she has her husband completely whipped. Like to the point where I feel bad for him. He will never leave her so I know she will always be around. 

If you don’t ask, she WILL get over it. If she does ask out-right, just say you’re sorry, but you were only asking so many people and it’s not meant to be personal. Add in that that you’re still wanting her to be there for the fun stuff like bachelorette parties or showers, and she’ll even still be at the rehearsal as the groomsman’s date. The only difference is she doesn’t have to buy a dress she’ll never wear again! Twist it into a positive. Then if she still whines, she’s the one who’s going to look bad.

Post # 13
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Your wedding your choice.  Period. 

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