- Sparkle Pony
- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 2012
My bridal shower is tomorrow (Yey!).
My very best friend is one of my bridesmaids – and I am a bridesmaid in her wedding that it a few months after mine.
She started off being really nice and supportive but I feel like our relationship has strained a bit over the course of the year.
Just one little back story to provide some background info as to my feelings..
She picked her bridesmaids dress for me and I bought iimmediately. Even though it was christmas time and i was super strapped for cash and had to buy the dress that week bc it was selling out I picked mine for her (which was $100 cheaper then the one I had to buy) and she not only took forever to buy it (I picked It in sept – had Til may to buy it)- but one of my other bridesmaids had to order it for her and then she paid her back. If my other Bridesmaid or Best Man would not have done this I don’t think it would have been ordered. She has yet to pick up her dress to this day. And it will need heavy alterations. Ay.
She did just start school and doesn’t have a lot of spare income – which is fine – but she knew this was coming when she was still working at a different job and therefore (in my mind) should have saved for things like a bridesmaids dress.
I know it’s petty but I can’t quit dwelling on it. If it were simple a funds issue I think I’d understand. But she’s able to still go shopping forherself and go on trips.
Tonight she just texted me that she doesn’t have $ for a shower gift and she’s sorry.
I don’t even know what to think. I don’t want to be the kind of person who expects gifts… But I kinda did. :(. But at the same time I was kinda expecting to get the no gift text at some point.
The silly part is I will be bringing a gift for HER tomorrow for her birthday. Which she knows about.
Im just frustrated. I hate feeling this way bc it makes me feel very selfish but it is just how I feel. 🙁 I feel like this entire wedding process has just illustrated how self absorbed all of my friends are. It makes me feel really sad – like no one cares about me. 🙁 I feel like a do a lot for my friends and am always there for them. I don’t ever ask for anything for myself. This was the one time I was hoping for that and honestly it was a nightmare leading up to it. No one wanted to do anything for me. My boss ended up planning my shower. Makes me feel like such a loser and feel incredibly unloved.
Now I’m feeling guilty for the way I feel. I obvs told her it was fine and I wasn’t expecting a gift (bc I don’t want to seem snotty and entitled) and she wroteback that she reallyhopes I do understand. I said “it is what it is” and she wrote back “what do u mean by that?l — argh! I’m just so frustrated. I am terrified I’m not going to want to stay friends with anyone after this wedding bc I feel like everyone is just essentially saying they don’t give a crap about me.
Im sorry for the whine fest but I needed a safe place to vent. I’m just feeling really blue lately.:( (also sorry if a ton of typos are present – I’m furiously pounding out this post on my iPhone)
Thanks guys. Some suggestions and love would bemuch appreciatEd. 🙂