Post # 1
Hi Bees! Maybe you can help me with what to say in this situation…
So I got engaged over a year ago and our wedding is in a few weeks. Right off the bat I asked a very good friend to be in the wedding. We were friends in high school, went to different colleges and moved away from home. Me about an hour, her about 4. A few weeks ago she got engaged. She then told me she couldn’t attend my shower in our home town the following week because she had too much to do. She then came home the weekend after the shower.
Then she and her fiance have decided to buy a house and they close the day before my bachlorette party. She just told me she’s not coming to that either. But she’ll be home the weekend before my party and wants me to come home and hang out with her. I’ll most likely be working that weekend and if I’m not then I’m going to have a lot of stuff to do for the wedding. A wedding she never asks about nor knows anything about other than the color of her dress.
She asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding and I’m happily planning on making the treck to her town, 5 hours away, to do anything and everything she needs and wants me to do. And I have to spend my wedding weekend with her. I want to say something to her to tell her how upset I am but I don’t want to make the future events uncomfortable. Any ideas on what I could say to her?
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
Have you tried just asking her politely to come to your bachelorette party? And for some more help with other various wedding things? Sometimes people just get so wrapped up in their own life that they don’t think about others. But maybe if you just asked nicely at first and explained how important it is to you that she help you with things, without making it this big deal about how upset you are, she might come around. Good luck!
Post # 4
I would agree with Miss Mouse. I think you should just tell her how you’re sad that she is unable to come, and ask her if she could for you-it would mean a lot. I think you just need to nicely tell her how much certain things mean to you, and hopefully since you’re being such a great friend and helping her, she will do the same for you!
Post # 5
I agree maybe she doesn’t realize how much this is upsetting you and if you tell her how sad it is making you then maybe she will make more of an effort.
Post # 6
Treat others how you’d like to be treated. If she treats you this way during your wedding I’d give her a taste of her own medicine when it comes time to help her during hers.
Honestly, weddings really do show you who your true friends are and who is worthwhile. And it sounds like this friend really cares more about herself than being a friend to you.
To me it sounds like she is conveniently planning all these other things to land on the same days as your wedding events. Can she not afford the events? Can she not afford gas to drive to them? You may want to ask her if money is the problem.