Post # 1
So I am having a pretty formal wedding that me and my fiance are paying for ourselves. RSVPs are due tomorrow and one of my single bridesmaids left me a message that she might be bringing a friend if he can get off of work. I may have accidentally put and guest on the invite but she had not had a boyfriend in like 5 years so really put her as one. I dont know this person and she txt me when I said I didnt know you were seeing anyone and she said “o we are just friends” So I can pay like $ 80 a plate for “just a friend” so you can have someone there? Um NO. And it would mess up the table formation. Can I call and tell her we are only having people with significant others and you know we are paying for this ourselves and that’s just not nice???? Help I am sooo mad. Plus she has been so non exsistant with shower planning or anything. She never asks if I need anything!!!!!!!
Post # 3
@Firegirl: If you did put “and guest” on the invitiation youre kind of stuck. It would be rude to take it back, especially if shes your BM. I get the money thing, but its only one person.. She is your BM and I dont think its horrible to include one other person.. good luck… trust me I know it sucks… I tried to cut out half our family cuz I dont speak to them anyways and I felt like why should i pay that much per person for people who dont care enough about me to say Merry christmas once a year?!? anyways good luck
Post # 4
Sorry but I think you need to suck it up. You put guest on the invitation to her so I don’t think its mean of her to invite a guest. How would she know you didn’t mean it?
Post # 5
If you put “and guest” on the invite then she gets a guest. You can’t take it back. And it’s pretty customary to give bridal party members the courtesy of a plus one anyway…. If you did put “and guest” you also cannot dictate who she brings, regardless of whether you know the person or not.
Post # 6
@shaydenise: agreed. let her have a date. going solo to a wedding can be depressing and if she was expecting a plus one all along, you can’t change it now.
Post # 7
Let her bring a date. It was your mistake; you can’t go back on your word now.
Post # 8
honestly, think of how much bridesmaids have to shell out for the wedding. i think her request to bring a date is reasonable, regardless of your +1 policy
Post # 9
I gave everyone in our bridal party a “plus one” regardless of their relationship status. I think it’s courteous to allow them to bring someone, considering how much they’ve spent/helped with the wedding.
Post # 10
i guess i’m going to be in the minority here, but i’d say that if she is a good enough friend for you to include in your wedding as a bridesmaid, then she should be a good enough friend that you can speak to her honestly about this. call her (no texting–things always get misconstrued over texts) and explain that while you did invite her with a guest, and she is still welcome to bring one, you’d just like her to realize that you are paying for the wedding yourself and each guest adds another hefty per person charge. let her have the final decision, but at least give her all the facts. just my two cents, i only have very close friends as bridesmaids so i just can’t see not being able to talk to any of them about this.