- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
I am posting about my chief bridesmaid – aka my best friend since we were teens.
A year ago I got engaged to my now FI. A month later we found our dream venue, which for other reasons, unfortunately we couldn’t use. We have instead found a beautiful broken down church instead 😀
I set about spending hours on the internet, joining forums, getting ideas, before settling on everything for my wedding. Once I had created my very own ‘wedding’ book full of beautiful photos, mood boards, ideas etc, I took them down to show my friend and share the excitement.
Introducing my friend, she has been with her FI since we were teens and has been itching to get married and have children. In school she was competitive with me, and hasn’t always been the best friend-sometimes it feels it’s only when it benefits her.
Since I got engaged, I invited her down three times to come shopping and planning with me, and every time she has cancelled last minute, so I went down to my hometown to see her instead.
At xmas she got engaged and since then has been in constant contact – emailing almost daily with things she has found she likes etc. I am excited and happy that they are finally getting married after all these years. She was vague about the wedding date, saying it wouldn’t be for perhaps two years.
She has always known where she would get married and decided on a dress, so she ordered the dress but was vague about the venue.
To bring this to a head, she has changed the dress she wanted to one similar to mine, she has pinched my hair idea, I had designed a sash I wanted for my dress which she is now getting made for herself, she has chosen the venue I wanted and a band I am having, and the same bridesmaid dresses I am having (different colours).
Did I mention she has brought her wedding date forward to 3 weeks before mine?
Up until tonight I’d ignored the things she’d chosen, and the date I was excited for as she was going to have her wedding soon! I was so happy for her! When she told me about the date on email I was excited – until she said I should give the chief bridesmaid duties to another bridesmaid because she was going to be too busy, and that she now wouldn’t be able to make the hen as its the weekend before her wedding (which I’d booked previously to her bringing her wedding forwards). She then started an argument saying it wasn’t her fault and being sarcastic saying sorry if it was an inconvenience to me and I was making her feel bad.
Bascially I explained I felt hurt by the way she’d said she’d be too busy, and her FI told her she owed me an apology, which I got.
Then after this, all the similarities to my wedding started coming out.
Since this, she has said she won’t be able to plan my hen, but wants me to arrange hers, wants me to pay for two nights at the hotel she is getting married at because they need to fill the rooms and wants me to pay for accessories as a bridesmaid.
I am taken aback somewhat, and lots of my friends are angry with her – plus my FI has got upset tonight saying we will basically be attending our own wedding as the special things we had put together for our wedding will now be at hers 3 weeks before ours.
I can’t quite believe she has done this to be spiteful, but at the same time it seems to be too much of a coincidence. I realised tonight that her outfit and hair are going to almost mirror mine, and I feel like it’s going to be like watching myself walk down the aisle and my FI will see what I will look like (even though he won’t know!)
What do you bees think?