(Closed) bridesmaid wars

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I know most people on here like to say that you only get one day and you should be happy for her, but I would be pissed if I were you. Needless to say, don’t share any more ideas with her. Maybe you could have a change of date up a month and a half? 😉 kidding of course. Mostly.

Post # 5
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It does sound like she’s kind of a competitive friend. I don’t know her, so I can’t say for sure that she’s doing these things on purpose, but it does seem like too much to just be a coincidence. I’m not sure what you can really do in this situation.

I guess you could confront her about the similarities, but I’m not sure that would go over well. She’ll probably not listen or respond well to that, based on what you’ve said about her AND you might end up losing her as a bridesmaid. However, with the way she’s acting, I’m not sure I’d want her as one. If you think talking to her about this will help you feel better, then I’d say go for it. She might not realize how she’s behaving and it might make a difference?

Since she is your friend, I’m going to assume that she cares about you and that her competitiveness and copycatness probably stems from some of her own insecurities OR maybe she really LOVES what you’ve put together and wants to do the same. Still, I would feel like my wedding is getting ripped off too!

One thing I know I would do is stop sharing details with her. That way she can’t “steal” anything else. Also, I know that you shouldn’t have to do this, but if you’re really concerned about her wedding matching yours, I would maybe try to change some things around. Obviously, you can’t change your venue, dress, etc, but if it isn’t too late to change hair, accessories, decor, etc, I would consider doing that. Not that you have to, but that might be a way for you to feel like it’s still your day.

Post # 6
Member
241 posts
Helper bee

@dahliaitseems:  SOunds exactly what happened with my two friends.  Honestly- there’s some things you can’t change.. like your dress ect.  But for the things you can change I definately would.. like your hair.  Try to think of other things you can change to be different and don’t tell her any more things.  I would NOT stay at the hotel.. it’;s not your problem that she needs to book room.. besides you need to save your own money to pay for your wedding.

good luck with this!

Post # 7
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

She sounds like a psycho. I would . . . not participate in her wedding in any way. But I’m also kind of a spiteful bitch.

Post # 8
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@daybyday:  “She sounds like a psycho. I would . . . not participate in her wedding in any way. But I’m also kind of a spiteful bitch.

+1.

Post # 10
Member
737 posts
Busy bee

@dahliaitseems:  You are not alone.  There is another Bee on here with similar problems, actually almost the same.  Her best friend bought the SAME dress!! and is now having the wedding on the SAME day!!

She is not really your friend.  Sounds like you got a taste of this in the past.

Change what you can, and say you cannot be involved in her wedding to the extent she wants because… guess what..  you are busy planning your own three weeks later.

Honestly, I just can’t believe that there are so many women out there that are full on B…ches.

Lots of HUGS to you.

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