Post # 1
I am on a budget for my wedding (I am trying to keep it around 32k- I know, that’s a lot of money, but it goes fast in wedding world.). I CANNOT go above this amount. My entire wedding budget is already accounted for and I have allotted 1k to go toward my 7bms (that is for a lunch out and gifts). However, because I am keeping costs down, I am not in a position to pay to get their hair and makeup done. I am not requiring that they have professionally done hair and makeup. Yesterday, I had this conversation with my Maid/Matron of Honor:
Maid/Matron of Honor: we are all getting our hair done, right
ME: well, actually, I was thinking that we would all do our own makeup and I might have my bms do their own hair. I really don’t need everyone to have professionally done hair
Maid/Matron of Honor: But that’s part of the fun. We all go to the salon and get ready
Maid/Matron of Honor: I’ll pay for my own. You can just get the girls who can’t afford it.
Me: Ummmm….Yeah, I haven’t thought about it.
First, the expenses of this wedding are already out of hand. Second, I can’t believe I am even having 7 bms and a 30k plus wedding. Third, WTF? do I need to pay for girls hair now. I was worried about this before and the bee assured me that I do not need to pay for hair and makeup for my girls, but it seems like some girls are expecting a salon trip. OMG! I HATE how consumerism has ruined weddings.
Post # 3
Just explain to your bridesmaids that they are doing their hair and makeup now so they aren’t surprised later
Post # 4
You are absolutely not required to pay for their hair! Sure, it can be a fun experience to go together, but again, not required. Just let them know that since you aren’t requiring everyone to have the same look or get it professionally done, that they’ll be on their own for that. As long they have a heads up, there really shouldn’t be a problem.
As for your Maid/Matron of Honor who said you can “just” get the girls who can’t afford it, gently remind her that you are “just” paying for a wedding and can’t really squeeze the expense into the budget. 🙂 Hopefully she’ll get the hint.
Post # 5
absolutely not. If you still want to have the fun experience let them know that you will be going there if anyone wants to meet you and get their hair /makeup done. Let them know the cost up front so no one is suprised.
I am in the exact same boat as you right now. I honestly could have written every word of your post! too funny!
Post # 6
You are not responsible to pay..I have issue with one of my girls NOT wanting to pay and is worried about her hair, even tho i am going to a friends salong an it will be a lot cheaper the others- while the others want to go. Im having the same issues with the makeup.. i am getting airbrushed because i have tattoos..several of the girsl dont want to pay for airbrush- so i contacted a local mary kay lady ( also a friend) and shes going to come do all the makeup of the girls that arent getting airbrushed..we just have to 1- have a mary kay party in order for her to get the colors right in advance- 2 give her a tip of some sort…so i told the girls they all need to put at least $10 in and i will add to it. Try a local makeup artist that will give you discounts and then tell the girls its their place to pay for it.
Also another tip- if they are concerned with pricing try any local beauty schools- they have very affordable bridal/prom packages as well.
I am not going to pay for them…as im on a budget just like you. Ive made provisions and they can deal with it or not… you should put your foot down as well.
Post # 7
First of all, you do NOT need to pay for their hair/makeup. Luckily for me my BM’s all have their “own stylist” and didn’t want to get it done together.. lol. But also, you said you have 1k (wow!!) set aside for their gifts and lunch. Perhaps they’d rather get their hair done than go to lunch and you could get them a cheaper gift?
Again, you do not by any means have to pay for it but just an idea!!
Post # 8
I agree with @Cheesy Potatoes:. I just emailed my girls last week and told them that my mom and I are going before the wedding, and that they’re all welcome to join us if they want, but they have to pay for their own hair, and it would be about X amount of money. Out of six girls, only one chose to come along. The other five are going to help each other, and that’s cool with me.
Post # 9
@GreenEyedMoon: Don’t take this the wrong way: but were they all amenable to the email? I’m just worried that my girls will be angry at me or something! How did you word the email?
Post # 10
Why do people have so much trouble saying what they mean?
Your mistake was saying this “Ummmm….Yeah, I haven’t thought about it.”
You have thought about this.
You have already decided the girls are paying for their own hair if they want it profesionally done.
I suggest you comminicate this to them as soon as possible- especially to your Maid/Matron of Honor who now has reason to believe that you are thinking about paying for the girls who can’t afford it. She might give false information to some of the others.
Post # 11
For my best friends wedding we all went to the salon and all paid for our own. We did our own makeup there while waiting to get our hair done and had a blast! So much that I planned the same for my wedding.
Post # 12
Not required at all. It is too bad she is trying to bounce your budget!
Post # 13
@jackndiane: No worries, no offense taken. I think they were all okay with it. I said:
I had my hair trial about a month ago and was quite pleased with how it went. My mom and I are going to have my hair done the morning of the wedding at a salon really close to the reception site and hotels. They said that it would be best to book any wedding day appointments now.
I really wish I could offer to pay for all of you to get your hair done with me, but, unfortunately, that just isn’t in the budget. If you are still interested in having yours professionally done, please let me know, and I’ll book your appointment now. According to the website, an updo is around $75.
If you just want to do your own hair, that’s just fine, too. I would like you to wear your hair up, but I don’t care what kind of style you choose as long as it’s elegant. A simple bun would be fine, or you can have as complicated of a style as you’d like. If you’d rather not pay for the salon but don’t have any hair styling skills of your own, I’m sure we can all help each other out to look nice. Just let me know if I should book an appointment for you or not.
Thanks! Only two months left! 😀
Post # 14
@jackndiane: You’re already spending $1K on them…if they’re angry at you for not also paying for their hair, then there are bigger problems here!
For what it’s worth, I told all my girls the same thing GreenEyedMoon did and all of them are doing their own hair and makeup and totally fine with it. Give the girls a little credit, hopefully they’ll understand your budget.
Post # 15
I just sent out an email to my BMs earlier this week that explained that I am having someone come to my parent’s house to do my hair and makeup and if they are interested, let me know and I can get them the details. I also talked about how my parent’s house has plenty of room for us to all get ready. So I hope that is straight forward enough for them.
Post # 16
@julies1949: You’re right that I should have communicated more clearly. However, sometimes it is difficult to communicate clearly when put on the spot like that. Honestly, this whole wedding planning thing has been very stressful because so many people have so many expectations placed on me. Yes, I know that I have to stand up for myself, but that is much, much easier said than done. Did I get myself into this mess? Absolutely. But I have found being a bride to be very difficult. You asked “Why do people have trouble saying what they mean?” Everyone has a different answer to this question, but for me it is because it is in my nature to try and please everyone. Is this effective and healthy? No. But again, easier said than done.