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who bought it? did you she buy it in a smaller size hoping she'd lose weight? did you buy it not knowing her size? how long ago was it purchased? what reasons is she giving you for not trying it on? a lot of questions, i know...
I don't understand why she won't try it on? Maybe she already has and she knows it's too small, but doesn't want to tell you for whatever reason.
They were purchased off the rack and the return period of 120 days is about to be up. The price was too good to be true so I bought all of them (even had to have two shipped in from another store). I made arrangements to bring the dress to all 6 girls in the wedding, and 5 out of the 6 tried it on (and all 5 fit perfectly). This girl refused even when I brought it to her house, saying she wanted to lose weight since I still had a little time left in the return period - but now that time is up and she still won't try it on. I am concerned it will be too small - it is the largest size they have and what she normally wears - but I am normally a 4 and can wear anything from a 2 to an 8 depending on cut, so I am really worried that even though it "should" fit it won't.
Note I am paying for the BM dresses since I found such a good deal on them - and have told all of the girls the dress was covered. If I return these and have to get other dresses I wouldn't necessarily be able to pay for them unless I found more in the same fantastic price range.
How incredibly rude of her. Have you told her how important it is to make this deadline? If she won't try it on then you will have to tell her that she is going to have to buy her own matching dress. If she is this difficult then I would reconsider having her in your wedding.
I would love to reconsider having her in the wedding - but I'm scared that would cause way more drama than it is worth. :(
I would explain the whole situation to her, stat! She might not realize the trouble that it will cause you if those dresses don't work? If she does realize, and she's not being cooperative, well, that's kinda rude.
If she tries it on after the return date, and it doesn't fit, then are you okay with having her not match exactly? It doesn't sound like you are, but I think it would be better than kicking her out...
I would just tell her what is happening in your calmest voice possible in person if you can. If she still does not comply how important is your friendship? SHE is doing this, not you. Your request is quite simple and it wasn't difficult for the other 5 to try them on.
I just say you need to be more straightforward with her! Tell her exactly what you told us - that you are worried you will have to get other dresses. You still have some time before your wedding - she could still lose weight, even if it doesn't fit now. But she owes it to you to TRY IT ON!
She's the type to be incredibly offended and nasty about her weight - and she'll know that is my concern with the dress not fitting. I can't think of anyway to say "Hey, I need you to try on the dress b/c if it is too small for you I have to rethink my entire dress plan or kick you out of the wedding".
And no, I really really don't want her to wear something different.
"Hey could you please try on the dress? You are putting my BM dress plan in a bind. I would really like you to be in my wedding but if you don't want to try on the dress then I will understand if you don't want to be a part of my wedding party. It's really too bad too because I really thought you wanted you to be a part of it."
if it's been more than 2 mos, and she hasn't tried on her dresses, you should NOT redo your dresses, regardless. Seriously, I think if you just make that decision now, then it might make you feel better about her lack of trying it on. She can figure out a way to make it work or not be in the wedding.
I had a BM whose dress ended up being too small. (I think she gained weight.) But, while she was embarassed, she didn't make a huge deal about it...it was able to zip, and she just wore some spanx & asked if she could change out of it after pictures, and I said that's fine! Would that work?
She has a couple of options at this point. If she tries the dress on and it doesn't fit she can either buy another dress of the same color or drop out as a bridesmaid. It's not really fair to you to have to change all of the dresses at this late date in order to accomodate her when she has had ample time to try on the dress so that you could make alternate arrangements if it didn't fit.
I see a couple of angles on this.
I think she has put you in a bind because she has not tried on the dress, despite ample time. So for that, I say you can tell her that she needs to try the dress on by X date. After that, it can't be returned. If the dresses can't be returned it would be unnecessary to incur extra expenses for more dresses. Therefore if she chooses to wait until she loses weight, she will have to live with this dress. If it doesn't fit and a seamstress can work magic, fine. If it doesn't fit at all, then she won't be able to be in the wedding.
On the other hand, I'm wondering something different. Perhaps I'm getting the wrong impression. But it sounds like you really like the dress, at least because of the color. Bonus, it was on sale. You said it was difficult to find the dresses, especially getting the correct sizes. Is it possible she knows how much you like the dress, scrambling to get them? And since the dress fits everyone else perfectly, feels as though if she doesn't fit into it, it will disappoint you? It will be all her fault that you couldn't have this dress? Or that if she doesn't fit into it, all the BMs might have to buy their dresses because you'll have to look for something new? I can understand that this seemed like a great deal. But if you are this concerned it won't fit her, just looking at it, not evening having tried it on, maybe it caused some unfair pressure on her. Especially since it is regarding her weight, which is a sensitive issue for anyone. But also, now that it all hinges on her. Do the other girls know that if another dress is chosen, it will be because of this Bm? And that they'll have to pay?
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Hi -
I am trying to get my bridesmaid to try on her dress and so far she has politely come up with reasons why she can't. I'm concerned she may not fit in it and it is discontinued - I've been looking and looking and it just isn't out there anymore. I am terrified it won't fit and she'll expect me to buy another dress for her - which would mean I would have to buy new dresses for all of my bridesmaids as it is really important they all match and the color just isn't out there anymore.
If she can't fit in it what do I do? It would be a case of the dress being too small. I know this is lame but the idea of having to redo my BM dresses into another color has me in tears.