Post # 1
Hi, I am new to Wedding Bee but I have a question for all of you, as I am being bombarded with opinions from everyone involved in planning my wedding, it would be nice to have a fresh set of eyes. My wedding is May 11, 2013 and I am have a peacock theme, with my main colors being teal and brown.
Just over a year ago we (Myself (the bride) and my bridesmaids) went shopping for our bridesmaid dresses. I will have 3 bridesmaids and one junior bridesmaid (12yrs). Everyone agreed on one dress, it fit everyone nicely and everyone loved it. The cost of the dress is $180 but my bridesmaids would all get a discount for ordering 4 dresses.
It is now 6 months until the wedding and my junior bridesmaid (her mom) has told me that they can’t afford the dress. They have also moved 6hrs away.
I have tried to find a cheaper dress but so far the original one is by far the cheapest dress (and best looking).
So now I am not sure what I should do, all of the other bridesmaids have saved over the past year (almost year and a half) and have to money for the dress. Now if the junior bridesmaid doesn’t get the dress, it will cost everyone more money. Also the only options I am looking at is the junior bridesmaid getting a cheap dress from a dept store (such as walmart or sears) which would not match the other dresses, or not having her in the wedding.
My Fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves so we don’t have the extra money to spring for the dress. Also my Fiance doesn’t think it would be fair to the others who have been saving up for the dress.
What would you do?
Post # 3
Welcome and congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I’m sorry you’re in such a tricky situation. 🙁 How much would the price increase for the other girls if you only order three dresses instead of four? If you can’t afford to pay for the jr bridesmaid’s dress, would you be able to help the other BMs cover the additional cost to their dresses?
Also, did you buy your wedding dress at a bridal salon? My bridesmaids each got a 20% discount because we bought their dresses at the store where I got my dress. Ended up being less than $140 for a really great Mori Lee Bridesmaid or Best Man dress!
Post # 4
@gemstone: I did buy my wedding dress at the same salon and I am trying to work out a deal with them, my Bridesmaid or Best Man dress I selected is actually a morilee as well, style 262. If we had to order the 3 instead of 4, I could probably throw in the extra money, we are all just waiting on me figuring out what to do (so we can order them).
Ive tried to work something out with jr Bridesmaid or Best Man mom, but she just says no now, she can’t come down for fittings, the only thing she will consider is buying a cheap dress (she is thinking $30-$40) up where she is.
Post # 5
@soosoos: Ooh, okay! So, I think my suggestions here are to either see if you can work out a deal with the salon for the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses OR see if you can pitch in the extra to help the other three BMs cover the addition cost? (Hopefully it’s not too much!)
And then it’s up to you for how to handle the jr. bridesmaid. Can I ask who she is (what her relation to you is)? Because she’s a jr bridesmaid, it wouldn’t be weird for her to wear a different dress if they can find one. Or maybe she can have a different role in the ceremony, like passing out programs or something?
Post # 6
@Gemstone: The junior Bridesmaid or Best Man is my second cousin. I think one of my biggest concerns is because she backed out the day before we were all supposed to order the dresses, that a week before the wedding they will back out of coming down at all. She isn’t answering when I call now and all “communications” are coming though my aunt (who lives near them), which is very frustrating.
Also we have never really been close, it was my mom who insisted that I put her in the wedding in the first place. But now I feel bad because it’s not the JBM (12y olds) fault, she just has to do what her mom tells her.
Post # 7
Ooh, not an ideal situation. I don’t think you should take her out of the wedding party, I could only imagine that would be really upsetting for her. I know it’s more money out of your pocket but could you speak to her Mum and offer to pay half? If you are set on having them all in the same dress, I think you should stick with that. If they can’t go halves with you I’m afraid you may just have to pay for it youself.
Post # 8
@soosoos: This just stinks. I think it’d be okay for you to tell her you totally understand the financial constraint and you hope that she and her daughter can enjoy the wedding as guests without putting any burden on them. Again, maybe offer to give her another role? Unless you can get a hold of the mom sooner rather than later and work out a way for her daughter to remain in the wedding party.
Post # 9
I’m in a similar situation, I’ve already prepared myself for having to pay for my sister and mom’s hair/makeup, as well as my sister’s dress (although dad may pay for it now), and both my Jr. Bridesmaid and Flower girl are financial constrained so I’ll probably just work their dresses into the budget.
Sorry talked about me there….
Give them a color swatch from the store you got the dresses from and ask them to buy a dress that matches it? And give criteria on the material, length etc…in my opinion it’s ok for the Jr. Bridesmaid to have a diff dress. If they’re still not getting anything that matches your wedding, ask her to step down imo, give her another task.