Post # 1
Is it wrong to change my mind? I told a girlfriend of mine to be a bridesmaid at my wedding 6 months ago. But we haven’t talked in the last 2 months, and she hasn’t made an effort to talk to me. The only other bridesmaids will be my two sisters and my future sister in law.
Can I get away with telling her that I have decided to only have family as bridesmaids? Or would that be completely wrong since I already had asked her to be my bridesmaids.
Post # 3
While it’s not cool that she hasn’t made any effort on her end, I just keep thinking how hurt I’d be if I were asked to be a BM and then told I was no longer welcome to be one. Have you made an effort to talk to her? I know it’s tough but you know how busy people get. Reach out to her for lunch or coffee and share some of your wedding plans with her — that may help her feel a little more involved. 🙂
Post # 4
woah maybe i’m nitpicking… but did you tell her to be a bridesmaid? or ask her? did she seem excited? are you close? has anything happened in her life that may have caused her to be distant? i think these are all factors to consider…
Post # 5
I’m in a very similar situation…but I don’t want to get into too many details. I’m afraid my engaged bridesmaid will be lurking around these parts LOL!
Post # 6
I’m in a similar situation and have opted to keep my bridal party as-is. So that would be my recommendation to you.
People just get so funny about weddings! The bridesmaid I’m referring to was so excited to attend a wedding that she had no role in last year, yet she really isn’t interested in my wedding at all and makes hurtful comments. And I have no doubt that if I “shafted her” and didn’t ask her to be in my party — or worse, gave her the boot after asking her before — it’d be even worse.
Your friend is undoubtably seeing the situation differently from you. But meeting up for coffee or whatever you’ve liked to do in the past, and asking her how SHE’S doing, is a win-win. If you have a specific task you really want help her with, bring it up after you’ve had a feel for how things are going.
I keep telling myself that even though things aren’t perfect now, my girls will come through for me on the day-of and the weeks leading up to my big day. Ok this is a novel, but I’ve just thought about it a lot lol – hope it helps and happy planning!
Post # 7
I would try not to stress too much – my bridesmaids go through phases of either being uncommunicative or unreachable. It doesn’t mean that they don’t like me, or they don’t want to be a part of the wedding anymore, just that other things may have come up in their lives which distract them from talking to you.
Given that your wedding is still a while away, unless you urgently need their input on something, I don’t think it’s too big an issue yet.
Post # 8
It would be pretty rude to tell her you no longer want her in your wedding, and quite possibly a friendship ending decision on your part. Have you been making effort to see her about non-wedding related things? Did she feel pressured into agreeing to be a BM but not actually want to be one since you say you told, which is a demand versus an invite by asking.
Post # 9
I had the same problem. She didnt make any effort to participate in anything with me or the other bridesmaids, I didnt hear from her unless it was her complaining about her having to pay for her bridesmaids dress, or she was canceling on me. She didnt even show up to our 2 seperate bridesmaid dress shopping trips. AND said she was going to dye her hair neon pink and purple zebra stripped in may. I tried talking to her about these things but she just ignored my msgs and said then msged me a few day later saying why ive been ignoring her. I She just told me that she wont be in town for the month of the wedding but her bf would still be abotu to be one of my fiances groomsmen( he’s my fiances cousin). Which to me sounds like she just doesnt want to n doesnt have the balls to tell me. Either way I didnt have to tell her she did the work for me. I say (even though its a little rude) if shes going to make it harder on you its not worth keeping her around.. just my oppinion. Make sure you talk to her first, dont just take her out without explenation
Post # 10
I have the same problem. I haven’t seen her in quite a few months and every time we say we’re going to make plans she bails. So frustrating. I’m waiting a while to see if she comes around.