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I am in Pittsburgh, and my wedding is in NC. My bridesmaids are in Nashville, TN, Boone, NC, and Prague. In my case, I sort of let go of any expectations I had of my bridesmaids. It would have been completely unreasonable to think they'd want to spend what little time we can spend together when visiting working on wedding projects and even more unreasonable for me to expect them to all plan a shower/bachelorette party for me. They'll be there for the wedding weekend and that is what counts.
I'm in the same situation. My BMs are in AZ and I'm in Iowa. It's only me and my Fiance (even my mom doesn't live here). Like amandopolis, I have no expectations for my BMs to help in any way whatsoever. My sister was nice and helped me with one project when she came out a few weeks ago, but otherwise we spent the time enjoying ourselves. I have no expectations for a shower/bachelorette - I'm kind of glad since it gives me more time for other stuff rather than worrying about the parties I have to go to. The girls will be here for the wedding weekend to support me and help me out in everyway possible and that's what counts. In the meantime, they're cheering me on from afar.
In answer to your question, they could always help with internet research for things. They can put together favors or other things you send them. Maybe they are crafty and create your invitations or something. Create a wedding website to pass ideas and keep them involved in the planning.
I understand. I am in Texas and two of my BMs are in Ohio. The others are 11,13, and 28 with a child on the way. They all help where they can but the 11 and 13 year olds are limited but so cute when they try. I wish I could record them trying. Sorry.. side thought there. Anyways, I agree with IA Snowflake. Maybey through email or internet you guys can work together. That is how I have done most of it. Plus, I ship paper to my one BM and asked her to help hand write somethings (she has perfect writing in many different fonts!!)
I understand, I am in NC, wedding is in NY, bridesmaids in CA, CT, NY, SC and one local.
I kept them updated through email and had no expectations for them. They planned a shower and bachelorette party and those that could come made the trip and the ones that couldn't didn't. My BM in CA and I talk on the phone every week to 2 weeks and it worked well because she was a great person to bounce ideas off of and get feedback from. She wasn't right here but she was still a great help.
Like some of the girls said above, what really matters to me is that they are all there for the actual day.
I live in Boston and one of my BMs lives in California, one in England, and my MOH in Ohio. With the exception of my MOH (sister) I don't have expectations for those who live far. I keep them in the loop via e-mail and sometimes ask their opinions on things. My BM that lives in CA is coming to my bachelorette party, which is really nice.
In general though, I don't view my BMs as helpers for me. I view it more as a way of honoring my special ladies.
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How do you keep bridesmaid involved when their on the east coast and I'm here in California? I know the bride needs assistance but it's difficult just being in CA with my fiance. Don't get me wrong, he's helpful and willing but I miss my girls!