Post # 1
I have asked 4 girls…
I am considering 4 more…but I am not sure..I would like some opinions…
One of the girl’s is my cousin who I don’t feel very close to but we are cordial with one another..I was in her wedding 7 years ago and my mom and her sisters and my grandma all think i am being a jerk for not asking her yet…
The other girl is someone I have know for over 20 years, I was in her wedding a year ago…wetalk randomly..only if I iniate a phone call though…She does send me birthday adn christmas gift/card every year..but when we hang out I don’t feel like we are close anymore…but I feel like I should ask her…
The other 2 girls are my closer friends…The one girl has been so excitedfor me..wanting to go shopping for wedding ideas..I’ve known her for less than a year, but has been such a good friend to me…and the other girl was pretty much the same way until she had a baby, but we keep in touch and I feel like she is a genuine friend…
I really don’t want a huge bridal party though..what do I do?
Oh and on top of all that my FMIL wants me to ask my FI’s SIL (who I am actually close to) and his brother’s g/f.
I am a really nice person, I hate to make someone feel bad-and I tend to let people pressure me and make me feel guilty..I am just so confused and the wedding is in 9 months…what do I do?
Post # 3
@SweetieStef:Ask the people who mean the most and are going to be helpful and make your day wonderful and memorable. No amount of obligation or guilt should make you pick someone to be in your wedding.
Post # 4
Here’s an option that might help – can you get any of those ladies to do a reading or sing a song during the ceremony? I have a newer girl friend who I would love to ask but I have the same worry that you do – that the bridal party is going to be too big so I asked her to do a reading during the ceremony.
Perhaps the other girls could host a bridal shower? I would say asking your FSIL is probably a nice thing since you’re probably going to be seeing her a lot in the future 🙂 your FBIL’s girlfriend though? That seems too much. Not to sound negative but I think inviting the girlfriend and asking her to part of the day is nice but I don’t think she should assume that she’s in the bridal party.
Sounds like your 2 friends who you feel close to are good friends. Good friends will understand if you don’t pick them. It’s not like you’re not inviting them to the wedding, right?
As for your cousin, that’s tough. I’m not particularly close with my girl cousins so I didn’t feel bad about not picking them. Could you ask her to hose the bridal shower?
Hope that helps a little.
Post # 5
I agree with the above posters.
I’m having 6 BMs (which is a lot) but it’s because I know those people are loyal, true friends.
Two of the girls I don’t talk to all that often, but when we are together, it is like nothing has changed. They don’t cause drama and I wouldn’t have to worry about them being helpful or not. I have other friends that were on the “maybe” list – but we have had ups and downs and I didn’t want to chance one of our “downs” being my wedding day/week/etc.
I’m giving those “maybe” friends roles in the wedding — like playing the piano, doing a reading, maintaining the guestbook, etc. It’s a nice way to incorporate them and make them feel loved without you having to stress over having EVERYONE in your bridal party.