Post # 1
Okay, so I have been reading your boards intensely for the last week because I’m getting married at the end of May, and I just started planning this month (ahhhh!!!! but I have to say, it’s fun 🙂
I would be so happy to hear your opinions on a couple of questions….
Numero Uno: I think I like the idea of setting a bridesmaid dress color and allowing them to choose their own style…but is it okay to put some boundaries on it? For example, I just really picture them all in different navy dresses that all hit below the knee (with red shoes!!!) BUT one of my bridesmaids requested right away that it not be knee length (even though I wore exactly what she picked out in her wedding even though I wasn’t crazy about it…and might I add, I didn’t say a word.) How horrible is it to try to get her to do a shorter dress?
Numero 2 (don’t know how to spell doce? dose? Dos?) : I have moved all over the country and my dear friends are simply all over the place. I currently live six hours away from my childhood home, where we are getting married. My Maid/Matron of Honor wants to throw a shower, but she started listing off all these people who I am just not close with. I am kind of a private person, and I am only inviting people to the wedding that we are close to. I know that will probably keep me from having a shower. We discussed maybe doing something to celebrate during the wedding weekend when lots of my friends are in town. However, if we do a shower, some people may have already attended my shower where I live now. Is that okay or should I opt for a brunch or something? That leads into another question:
Numero Tres:) : I have a few people I really enjoy spending time with where I live now. I don’t know if we are close enough for them to make the 6 hour journey to my wedding. Should I invite them anyway? My roommate here wants to throw me a shower and they would be the people coming to that…so I’m thinking they all need to at least get a courtesy invite? am I right?
Post # 3
in response to Number 2: i think it is perfectly acceptable to have input in your shower guest list, and it is important you convey if there are people who you don’t want there. i would just be cognizant of the number of people you tell her must be there (ie dont hand her a list of 100 people)
Post # 4
1. you can set whatever requirements you want! it’s your wedding.
2. only invite people to the shower who are invited to the wedding, and only family and bridesmaids should be invited to more than one shower. if you want to do something else, you could do a brunch or a spa day before the wedding.
3. if you are friends with them and would want them at your wedding, invite them. i’ve had a surprising number of people opt to travel for my wedding, so you never know!
Post # 5
Just my 2 cents:
Question 1: I have picked the color, length & fabric (or at least similar fabrics) for my girls dresses! They seem totally fine with it!
Question 3: I personally, would invite them. If they come, you’ll be so excited to see them, and if they can’t, they will 100% appreciate that you thought of them.
Post # 6
#1 – Totally fine to put boundaries on the dress choice. It’s also totally fine if you just choose the dress. While you can consider her request (and may want to depending on what’s behind it and how comfortable you want her to be), it is ultimately your choice. FWIW, I like the different length/same color/different dress bridesmaid idea, but I think this is too varied for many others.
#2 – You can’t invite ppl to a shower who aren’t invited to the wedding. Not everyone you know needs to be included in a shower, so if you’re already having one where you live, I’m not seeing why you would need to do one in your hometown. But, if your Maid/Matron of Honor wants to do something for you, could it just be small? Showers don’t have to be 20 people. One of my friends was expecting and 4 of us took her to lunch and brought gifts bc we weren’t included in the shower in her hometown. If you do something wedding weekend, I would opt for brunch so ppl aren’t double invited to showers. And, at that point, it’s kind of moot anyway because then people would have to shop for two separate gifts for you in the same weekend which may be weird.
#3 – Again, no shower invite if no wedding invite. I would not hesitate to invite people you want at your wedding just bc it’s far – after all, people do destination weddings all the time.
Hope This Helps
Post # 7
Hello and Welcome to The Hive! 🙂
(1) I am doing just that – I picked a color, set dress “parameters” and let each girl get their own. Your bridesmaid may have not know that knee-length is what you want initially. I am sure once you explain this is how it is, she will go with the flow.
(2) I wouldn’t invite people to the shower that are not invited to the wedding, especially if the shower and wedding are in the same town.
(3) Sure, invite your friends – some might surprise you and show up. My BFF got married in another state and I would say 20 of her out of town friends made a road trip out of it together – they had a great time!
Enjoy planning your wedding!!!!!
Post # 8
hey don’t wanna be repetitive so i second kitzy!
Post # 9
Thanks! It is so great to hear! I’ve been wanting to invite some friends up here, but I have always pictured them being like, “I can’t believe she’s asking us to travel so far!” You guys are 100% right though…it can’t be a bad thing!