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I'm sort of in the same situation (except my distance is only 2 hours...) and I really think at least your mother should be there. The few months leading up to the wedding are the important family-get-to-know-each-other time and every chance for a meeting should be taken.
Also, will your FMIL and FSIL attend your mother's shower? If so, then it is only fair that your mother (and ideally your sister) come to the Chicago shower.
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I've found that brides with geographically-challenged friends & families have had to bend the rules & traditions. In a perfect world, you'd have one shower, but I've been to quite a few weddings where the bride had mutiple showers.
Keep in mind that people want to celebrate your happiness. If it's difficult for your family to travel, then be open about having separate celebrations, knowing that it'll culminate with your fun wedding where everyone who can will make the effort to be together for that. Good luck!
I think it is understandable. Go for the 2nd shower if you want!
I will probably be in a similar situation, but the shower will be hosted by an aunt. My mother lives on the other side of the world (literally) and my sister (who is the MOH and my only attendent) lives about 2000 or 3000 miles away. We will try to schedule the shower so that they can be there, but otherwise, probably won't worry too much (my FMIL also lives about 1000 miles away, so I doubt she'll be there either, although it is a bit more likely).
I think if *you* understand that wedding planning things are different when people live far away, others can deal too!
Its easy to say that people SHOULD travel for events like a shower - but travel is easier for some folks than for others. If your actual family has difficulties with the travel to attend your FMIL-hosted shower, its just fine for them to throw another one. My sister lives in New Mexico, my parents and I in Washington. We didn't go to her shower, AND we didn't throw her another - as it was difficult for us to get down there and she didn't want a second shower enough to travel up here (she has lived there a long time, and doesn't have many friends left here, so a shower here would have been mostly our friends). She and I agreed that it was fine for me not to travel for the shower (which, really, is a fairly minor event in the grand scheme of wedding-ness) - and I did travel for her bachelorette party the next month. So whatever works for you and your various family groups is totally fine. If everybody lived within an hour or two of each other it would be odd if they didn't show up - seven hours its totally understandeable.
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I'm in a similar situation...and thats what 2 showers are for :)
If it causes stress for your friends and family to travel, I say its no big deal, especially because they want to throw you an additional shower.
My mom and BM's wont be attending my 2nd shower (thrown by my FI's aunt 1/2 way across the country) and its really no biggie!
oh yes, but they should still recieve an invite, with a phone call from you saying that you totally understand if they cant make it, but you would never NOT invite them :) Make sure they dont feel guilty...
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Thanks so much, everybody. It's a relief that I won't be the one and only girl whose mother wasn't at their shower. Hopefully my FMIL doesn't give me the third degree over it. :)
I think I'm going to try to get my mom & sister to come to this one if they can, but if not, I'm not going to fuss about it and just have another one up there.
Again, thanks. I've been stressing about this all day.
Actually, I had my shower last weekend and my mother nor my MOH could be there. My MOH couldnt make it due to the storms last weekend and so the band played on as they say... Don't stress about things that can't be controlled. It causes gray hairs to come prematurely lol. :)
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Hi again, all.
I live about 7 hours away from my family. I'm actually living with the Future in-laws. My FSIL and MIL want to throw me a shower, but I don't think that my mom or bridesmaids (my sister and cousins) will come - I had a conversation with them about it, and I'm pretty confident on this point.
My mom is talking about having a smaller shower at home with all the family who can't just pick up and come to Chicago. I'm all for this idea (open presents again? duh!), but I'd also really like for at least mom and my sister to make it - would you think it odd if none of the bride's family - or at least her mother wasn't at the shower?