Post # 1
so my FI has 2 sisters and he wants them in the wedding. I have one sister and I was thinking of just having her and my BFF as bridesmaids. We are having a smaller wedding and I’d prefer to just have 2 women next to me and not an entourage.
What do we think about having the sisters on HIS side of the bridal party? They can totally come to all my bridal stuff but technically stand on his side…
And how would I even start to ask him this without seeming insensitive. (which I feel like I’m being)
Post # 3
is he having any groomsmen?
if you can get away with it go for it – its not like they wont be in the wedding ya know? Im having my FSIL in my bridal party – i dont know her all too well but *shrugs* it was “expected”
Post # 4
if he is not having groomsmen then you can have an all female wedding party, why not…if he is having groomsmen, it might look a little weird..how about having them participate in another special way?
Post # 5
We haven’t officially asked anyone except our MOH and BM. He’s planning to have his brother and his best friend then my brother. But I barely know my brother (16 yr between us) so he can easily be taken out…
Post # 6
I said yes because I plan on having my brother stand on my side and my BF’s sister stand on his. Your bridal party is supposed to be the people you want up there supporting you, and the same with the groom’s side. My brother has only met my BF twice because we live in different states, so it just doesn’t make sense for him to stand on my BF’s side. I think the old “rules” about women on one side and men on the other is outdated. Do what you want!
I would try to sell it to him as if you’re just trying to make sure the most important people in HIS life are supporting HIM. Don’t make it seem like you’re trying to pawn his sisters off or anything.
Post # 7
Auscampbell, I am totally with you on this one! I wanted a small wedding party (only 2 on each side) and not an entourage. I thought it was only fitting that my fiance’s sister stand up on his side, since they grew up together and are a very close sibling set, and I don’t really know her that well. However, she felt uncomfortable with it, so the idea was (unfortunately) nixed, and I really kind of regret the decision. I definitely want her in the wedding party, especially since she means so much to my fiance, but I also want the people that mean the most to me up there on my side. I think people should stand up on the side of the person they are closest to, regardless of the gender. And of course you want your friends and your sister up there on your side…and it can be difficult to accommodate everyone when you want a small wedding party. My advice is forget about gender and forget about making sure the number of people on each side is even, just do what you want. If you want his sisters on his side so you can have the people you want on your side….do so! 🙂 The decision should be made by you and your fiance, and not under the influence of what everyone else wants.
Post # 8
I’ve seen weddings with mixed sides before and always liked it – maybe your brother could join your side? Then you’d be 3 and 4 and I think that would be great!
Post # 9
I think its weird that he’s going to have your brother on his side but you won’t have his sisters on your side. Maybe just give them another roll like a reading or something like that?
Post # 10
I’m confused. Ok, you’re 16 yrs older than your brother, but you barely know him? And if so, why is your Fi having him in the wedding? So it sounds like in order to drop his sisters, you’re willing to lose your brother in this too. Does FI think he’s asking him for you? If Fi agreed to have his sisters on his side, would you be willing to have your brother on your side?
I think the easiest think to do would be for you and FI to decide if you want siblings in or out, across the board. If they are in, (and it was my wedding) I would have all the girls on my side, all the boys on his, regardless of whose siblings they were. But if you both agree to have siblings and are OK with having your own siblings on your side, boy or girl, then go for it.
Post # 11
You should ABSOLUTELY do what YOU want. I would have his sisters go on his side. It is very acceptable. Just be straight-forward. Throw you ideas out there, it is all about communication.
Post # 12
My husband had one female family member stand on his side, and she got ready with the girls the morning-of and participated in all the “girly” stuff leading up to the wedding. It was awesome.
I would totally recommend that his sisters stand on his side, but if he really wants all dudes, let him have his way. However, I would HIGHLY recommend asking his sisters to be BMs on your side. It’s such an awesome thing to do to bring the family closer together.
Post # 13
I realize that you don’t want a large bridal party on your side, but I would be extremely hurt if my DH had asked my brothers to stand on my side and not his! Like they’re not “good enough” to stand on his side. If you are going to pick this fight (and you really need to evaluate if it is worth arguing over) then you should be very careful how you go about asking him all this. It does sound a bit elitist to not want them to stand next to you. And you’re saying it’s not ok for you to have more than two people, but it’s ok for your FI to have FOUR people, which will look totally lopsided. If you’re requesting an alternative, I wouldn’t suggest they stand on his side, I’d just say you don’t want a large BP and you thought maybe they could do something else like a reading or something.
Post # 14
You are combining your families. What could be better than to ask his sisters to stand up with you, like your own sister?
Post # 15
I said no; my two bridesmaids are his sisters (13 yrs older). While I get that its “your” side and “his” side, we’re approaching it as “our” wedding party. My brothers are standing up with him, and his sisters with me, but more importantly, those are the people (as a whole) that we want up with us for our day, the people who will support us as we go forward. We decided to have a pretty small wedding party as well, our two best friends (MOH & best man) and our siblings. While we could have switched them over (my brothers, his sisters), it seemed unnecessary. They’re all there.
Post # 16
I really think you can do whatever you want. I’m taking his best female friend on my side, and he’s taking my brother. But i’ve seen weddings where the attendants are all mixed up, and we may still do that since we are 5:4 and he’s winning. It really, really bothers my mother though. She was making all kinds of things up like dragging in my cousin who I barely talk to so I would have five people. But it doesn’t matter to us that we are mixed up and lopsided 🙂