- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Hello, I joined because I found myself really starting to feel down about my bridesmaid situation. At first I felt like a jerk for even having these feelings, but 4 months into our engagement (with 10 months to go until the wedding) I am really not feeling the love from my BMs. Let me preface this by saying 3 out of 4 of my Bridesmaid or Best Man live very far, so while I understand they can’t be involved in every day to day activiity etc, I would idealy like them to show some interest.
My M.O.H has done absolutely zero so far, she hasn’t even called me, or asked if she can do anything. Honestly from the few texting discussions I’ve even had with her, she seems jealous- she is much more “desireable” than me on paper, and can’t get a bf- so the fact that I am getting married honestly I think irks her. But then why say you would accept to be my MOH? She seems to get annoyed everytime I bring anything up about the wedding- which isn’t often because i’m afraid of the reaction. I feel awful but I’m honestly at this point wanting to tell her forget it! My sister can be my Maid/Matron of Honor because she is the only one who has been involved even minutely, and shes a teenager!
Another Bridesmaid or Best Man is my cousin, whom I’ve been very close with all our lives, acts like she has no time for me or anything wedding related either. The only time she contacts me is to tell me something about her life, etc. (which is usually the norm with her but I had wishful thinking)
I havent asked for a single thing from these girls yet, I know I’m not going to get a shower, or probably even a bachellorette, which I would have zero hard feelings about if I knew it was the distance that was the issue and not something else. I know I’m not being a bridezilla because honestly I havent asked anything of them really in 4 months lol.
Planning a seriously small budget wedding is stressful enough, I’ve had to sacrafice alot of our “wedding dreams” and I’ve been stronger than I thought about that, but having the few girls I could call best friends be there for me was not something I thought I would have to worry about.
Am I going at this the wrong way? Should I be having to take the initiative with them? I have been through alot and have some pretty tough skin, but as we are having a very small wedding, to me, by asking them to be there and in the party, I was asking them to be a part of something very special in my life. All this has me wanting to just elope!
Is anynoe going through this now, or has gone through it and has some advice? Im at a loss. Thanks