Post # 1
This past week I had to face my indecisiveness and finally choose bridesmaids. Fiance and I were only going to have 3 attendants each but then he decided despite the costs he wanted to include all the friends. We went up to five. That covered his brother and his 4 friends (brother and 3 of 4 friends are married). However, it left me at yet another tangled mess.
My little sister is DYING to be a junior BM! We’re not really that close and really far apart in age therefore I said okay and just told her she could walk by herself (as to not take away from the five I had to choose from. Also I knew right away I wanted my cousin to be my MOH. She is honestly the person I can tell anything too with a peace of mind and we could probably spend our whole lives talking and cutting up together–so it is only natural that she be the most important friend along side me.
One and a half down, four to go. When Fiance and I started dating I instantly adopted his friends. These are the kids we now spend every holiday with and so forth. I don’t not include my friends but that is just the way our relationship played out & I don’t mind it. Until now and not even now really just torn about it.
So next up our friends: recall many of his groomsmen are married. His best man, the brother, is married and lives in GA. I’m pretty close with FSIL but again they live in GA. I used this in my decision. I ended up including his two friend’s wives as two of my BM but left out FSIL because the whole distance thing is pretty important to me. I really want all of my girls to show up to every event and FSIL works ALL the time. I copletely understand and I am really hoping she understands as well. Fiance asked me was I sure and I told him yes. Let’s just hope I really am.
Three down. Two to go. On to my friends. I chose one who has been my friend since senior year of high school. She is so awesome, artistic and we never miss a beat when we get together.
One left. Here is the background. The decision was between Katie and Lindsey. Both are girls I met my sophmore year of college through work. Katie and I instantly hit it off and are a bit closer. Lindsey and I have recenty spent a LOT of time together and are getting closer. Lindsey is singe, Katie has a boyfriend who likes me sometimes. Well I felt obligated to pick Katie because we are SO much closer and spend way more time together–But I chose Lindsey put simply because: I know she can afford it, she is single no boy drama, and is way more into the whole planning stuff. I admit it, I need help when it comes to the whole bridesmaid duty area. She’ll be a pro at it!
Am I a bad person? I feel worried about how the girls I didn’t choose will take it. But I honestly feel like they shouldn’t give me any type of guilt trip. I’m hoping this is just all about my indeicisiveness.
Did you guys have a hard time picking your girls or was it a smooth process?
Post # 3
Thanks for answering the poll ladies.
Did anyone else have a difficult choice to make when it came to picking Bridesmaids?
Post # 4
Honestly, I’m not sure why you are rushing to choose your BP right now, you are still 15 months out from the wedding. I will tell you from experience that a LOT can happen in that time. I waited until I was 9 months out, and I’m glad I did because a girl I had been considering several months earlier fell out of the picture.
Also, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment by automatically assuming each girl you picked will be able to make ‘every’ event — that’s asking a lot. It’s also kind of a sad reason, IMO, to NOT pick a BM.
I’m of the belief that siblings should be included if it is important to your FH, but I know many people see that differently so it is ultimately your decision. IMO though the reason you gave for not choosing FSIL was kind of lame.
Post # 5
I didn’t necessarily have a hard time picking them but wish I would have waited a little longer, because I’ve since become GREAT friends with someone who’s not…and one of my bm’s is driving me insane and I can hardly stand her these days (she’s suuuuper jealous that she’s not engaged yet…long story).
Also, when deciding on my order a few weeks ago, I ended up making my bff my 2nd Matron of Honor — my sister was the obvious choice but with everything I also wanted to give the honor to my bff!
Post # 6
I guess I don’t understand why this is such a hard decision for people. Just ask the women who you are close with / who you want to stand up with you on your wedding day.
FI and I have an uneven bridal party. I asked however many people I wanted and he asked however many people he wanted. We ended up with 6 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen. I didn’t think it was fair to have to choose between friends and family members just because I have more family/more close friends then my FI does. Or for FI to ask people he wasn’t close with just so the numbers would add up.
If you want your FSIL and your other friends to be in your wedding party, then just ask them! But if you really don’t want them because of the reasons you listed, then that is okay too!
Post # 7
@TinyTina: I really like your uggestion. I’ll have to mention it!
Also I am in a rush to pick my BM because we absolutely have to get started on their dresses as one single individual will be designing them and making them from scratch. Another reason for being so ahead of the planning game is I am a full time student and work. Also the 4 months before the wedding I will be across the country working a full time job without the flexibility to help. So I figure the more I accomplish now the less I have to rely on family and friends to handle. Expecting my BM to attend every event is unrealistic! I know this. I would like for them to attend every event but again unrealistic (though if they’re near by it is more likely they might be able to). However it is a requirement to be able to attend dress fittings as often as these will occur. FSIL is in fact FH in law as well. Also I talked with FSIL and she perfectly understood and was even grateful to not have the guilt of wanting to be here for everything put on her shoulders. Thanks Bees for giving me the courage to ask her. You guys always give the best honest advice.