(Closed) bridesmaids buying their own dress, and accessories

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

well mine just sort of assumed it was their responsibility i spose… i am buying their jewelry though as a gift 🙂

Post # 4
Member
2237 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

That’s almost exactly what I was going to say stephanie…yeah my girls just knew that they would have to buy their own dresses and I was going to get them jewelry as their bridesmaid gifts.

I don’t think any bridesmaid expects a dress to be bougt for them unless theres an extreme situation wherein you have like an unlimited budget and your parents are paying for everything, if that were the case I would hope you would buy it for them!  But for those of us with budgets I’m pretty sure girls know its their responsibility.

Post # 5
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@caitrainbow: My BM’s are getting their own everything. We are on a tight budget and can’t afford to pay for everyone. I don’t think they expect you to pay for their dresses. And they would probably think you are great for picking out 50 dollar dresses! Best to you.

Post # 6
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Honestly, we just kind of assumed that our BMS would be getting their own dresses and shoes. They all know that we’re paying for a lot of the wedding ourselves and while we’d love to have done it for them, financially, it just wasn’t possible. I bought them their jewelery and got them clutches to wear with their dresses so they were responsible for their dresses and shoes.

Post # 7
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Hi!

It may be more a Canadian/British thing (to pay for dresses).

 I know when I was a bridesmaid for the first time, my mom was shocked that the bride didn’t pay for our dresses, because that was the norm when she was a bridesmaid (over 30 years ago).  The thought then was that you had little to no say in the dress/colour/etc so you shouldn’t have to pay for a dress that you wouldn’t wear again…I’d say that because wedding’s are so expensive now, people have given up on that tradition.

After that, I’ve expected to pay and, in one case was pleasantly surprised, when I didn’t have to pay FOR ANYTHING.  It was part of the bride’s budget to cover the cost of our dresses/hair/makeup…and it was really REALLY lovely that she was able to do that for us (there were two of us), but was certainly unexpected.

I know that there have been some UK posters who have said that it is the norm in the UK to pay for the bridesmaids’ attire.

I would just say “Hey Guys…I’ve been looking at bridesmaid dresses.  I’ve found one that I like that’s $50.  How does that sound?”  They should get that they are responsible.

PS: $50 is REALLY reasonable…especially if you’re not adding shoes, jewelery, etc. to the total.  I think that you’ve been really considerate.  🙂

 

Post # 8
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@caitrainbow: I don’t think it’s a Canadian thing to pay for bridesmaids dresses.  I’ve never heard of them being paid for.  I just asked my girls what they’d be comfortable paying, and they all said $200, so I promised that if I went crazy and found dresses more expensive than that that I couldn’t live without, I would pay the difference.

 

Post # 9
Member
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i never offered.  i just told them a dress i liked was on clearance online – if they wanted to look at it and liked it, that was fine with me.  they both just went ahead and bought it.  they were $30. (as was my wedding dress, too.)  i don’t think $50 is unreasonable at all and i think customarily maids pay for their own dresses.  many people here seem to gift the jewelery to their maids, but mine are wearing their own jewelery.

Post # 10
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t think you should have to pay for them, especially if they’re $50- what a great deal.  You could print them out a general “all about being a bridesmaid guide” or something that inlcudes their responsibilities, in a helpful/informative way.  It usually would list something like that on there.

Post # 11
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

yea i dont know… my colors are black and white… so we are doing black dresses…. who wouldnt wear a black dress again! 🙂 so its not one of those dresses they will only wear once… the ones i am looking at are about 100 to 140… which i think is reasonable… so if you found some for 50 kudos to you! they should be super excited!

Post # 12
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

So it is normal for them to buy their dresses as long as they aren’t unreasonable! I was planing on buying their shoes as a gift and hoping I can find dresses they the girls can wear again, simple but ncie.

Post # 13
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

$50 is a steal for a bridesmaid dress!  I know that I always expected to pay for my dress when I was a bridesmaid–it’s just what you do.   If you send them a polite email or have a phone call regarding the subject, they shouldn’t have any qualms.  If they do, they can just google “bridesmaid dress etiquette” to find that this is the norm :).

Post # 14
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My MOH got her own dress and shoes. We spoke about it and I told her that financially I might not be able to afford to get her an expensive dress and I wanted her to have all the say in what she got. She said she would rather pay for it as she was looking for a good cocktail dress anyways. 

Post # 15
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We are very fortunate to be providing our wedding party with all of their tuxes, dresses, shoes, jewelry, and hair (and no, we don’t have an unlimited budget or parents paying for everything). And, we’re still giving them gifts as a couple (our groomsmen and bridesmaids are all married to each other) that are between $60 and $80. My feelings were that we were asking these people to take a day off work, travel to our city, and wear clothing that they would never typically buy or wear on their own and will most likely never wear again (even though they are simple black dresses…we just don’t dress up often in our group).

Also, of the 3 weddings I’ve been in the dresses and jewelry were provided as well as hair in 2 of the weddings, and shoes in 1. In the other 2 weddings I wore a pair of shoes I already owned.

I don’t think you have to pay for the dresses by any means, I understand that in most cases the bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for their own attire. I just wanted to comment because it seemed like everyone was saying that the bride and groom buying the dresses NEVER happened, which obviously isn’t true.

Also, $50 is a great deal! If I did have to buy a BM dress I certainly wouldn’t think that was unreasonable.

Post # 16
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I am providing my BMs with their dresses because all of them are coming from out of state and have to get hotel rooms. They are responsible for hair, shoes, jewelery, etc.

 

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