Post # 1
here is my problem…i have 4 bridesmaids total….my wedding is in june, next month i will be going to look for bridesmaid dresses, i have heard from all of them but one. when i asked her if she still wanted to be in my wedding, she never responded. her husband is a close friend of my fiance and he is in the wedding as well (they were partnered rogether) now, i have another friend of mine who has been there for me and i want her in the wedding, my issue is im afraid if i tell the bridesmaid that she is no longer in it because,she hasnt communicated with me, im afraid her or her husband wont want to come to the wedding. shw recently had a baby so im not sure if thats y she hasnt responded to me or not. what do i do bees? my time is running low and i need someone who will be there for me…help!
Post # 3
Tell her you need to know by X date whether or not she wants to be in the wedding. If she isn’t sure, say that the dresses need to be ordered by Y date, and you’ll leave it up to her.
Post # 4
It’s very frustrating, but I had a lot of non responses from my BM’s when trying to make plans. People have their own lives and don’t care as much as you do.
I say just try to get in touch with her again, it’s really up to you if you want her in it or not. Is her husband responsive to your FI if he’s in the wedding too? It could def get messy if you kick her out.
Post # 5
@Sunshine09: thats my issue :/ my FI is so close to her husband. i wouldnt want them to not come but i habe to do what i have to do.
Post # 6
@Kdiaz824: How hard have you tried to contact her about dress shopping? Because “do you want to be in the wedding” is a pretty drastic question to ask, especially since she’s just had a baby so is very busy. I think not responding to a few texts (if that’s what it is) isn’t grounds for dumping a bridesmaid.
The fact that you say she hasn’t responded says to me you’ve been communicating my email or text. I strongly urge you to not use email or text: instead phone her. Or even drop in and visit her. Certainly don’t do anything without talking to her.
EDIT: The other thing is, it could be hard for them both being in the wedding if they have a baby. Maybe parenthood’s harder then she thought it would be (she wouldn’t be the first!). Perhaps talk to her about whether it’s best for only one of them to be in the bridal party. Either way, talking to her is the important thing.
Post # 7
@paula1248: i have attempted calling her and i have texted her. I usually like to get ahold of someone before I srop by their place, just out of respect for them, incase they already have company or something. but thats the only thing i havent tried, going to her place. and i totally respect that she has a baby, thats y i want to talk to her because i dont want to force her into something she wont be able to do.
Post # 8
Maybe you can ask her to do a reading or hand out programs/rise to toss or whatever at the ceremony instead of being a full blown bridesmaid? That way she is still involved, her husband can still be a groomsman, and it’s less pressure since there is no dress deadline involved. That way you have time to ask your other friend to be an official bridesdmaid. The last thing you want is for someone to back out at the last minute and have to scramble to find someone who can fit into that dress.
Post # 9
Have you asked her to be a BM already? In that case, there is no polite way to ask her to step down without hurting feelings. You can, however, mention that you understand if her life changes have made it hard to participate as a BM, and you’d understand if she needed to step back. Other that that, I think you’re stuck.