(Closed) Bridesmaids Drama!!! Am I taking things too seriously? (Vent)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I don’t think you’re taking this too seriously. I mean MOH knew a year ahead of time and she’s planned a wedding before so she should understand the stress you’re under. Therefore that would lead me to think she would be the one person who would be reliable!! I’m sorry you’re dealing with this!! ((hugs))

Post # 4
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Your MOH isn’t sure she’s coming to the wedding?!?! You’re not overreacting, I’d be pissed too. Why did she agree to be IN the wedding if she wasn’t even sure she would attend the wedding?

Post # 7
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@DestinBride85:  for real I don’t understand WTF happens to people when it comes to weddings. They do things completely out of the ordinary. 

I see posts pretty often about sketchy BMs. I unfortunately had a situation with one and we are no longer friends. The same girl caused problems at a mutal friend’s wedding (which I found out later). 

 

Post # 9
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It’s like the Night of the Living BMs <— LOL

I really don’t blame you for wanting to re-evaluate those friendships. If you have the chance check out the book Friend or Frenemy…might put things into perspective! 

Post # 10
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m sorry this is happening. It’s always disappointing to find out “close” friends are willing to put less into the relationship than you are 🙁 I seriously do not understand how some of the horrible BMs cannot realize that they are being so hurtful to their friends! As for Miss Wishy Washy, I’d have a heart-to-heart and let her know that you made a lot of sacrifices to fulfill MOH role at her wedding and you are very hurt that she doesn’t appreciate the importance of even attending yours.

Post # 13
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I understand being hurt. I really do. But, being on the other side of things now, I really understand that a wedding is just a big party. And….life doesnt stop just for parties. Especially when others have life altering experiences on the table, like living abroad and continuing their education. It isn’t personal, it’s just that there are so many incredible opportunities in life – especially when people are in their 20s – that are too precious to let slip away.

Also, I was reading a study on this a month or so ago – women who marry in their 20s tend to pick old, long time best friends as bridesmaids, even when the relationship is drawing to a close as major life events make the friendship obsolete. I’d say 95% of the bridesmaid drama on these boards is a direct result of that.

Post # 15
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@DestinBride85:  It is good you have your antennae up early to see how things are going with your BMs so you have time to do something about it.

Yay for BM#1! Good that she was upfront and told you about the opportunity fast.

As for BM#2, perhaps in her heart she really wants to be your MOH but her life is moving at a faster pace than she expected. Maybe she just needs some more time to figure out what to do, and your points about just telling her new job her previous commitments is a good idea. 

That said, I’d call BM#2 and give her a set time frame to confirm whether she can attend as your MOH. If she decides she can do it, great, then she has to commit to that and no more surprises. If she decides she cannot or doesn’t respond to you by the deadline, then you and she know you will have to move on without her, no hard feelings.

As for BM#3, hooray for her too letting you know right away and being sure to look into her upcoming school dates.

It just seems like everyone you know is in a very transitional time in their lives. It’ll take some understanding from all sides, and hopefully the friendships will still remain intact.

I’m sorry this is happening and as though they just aren’t investing in the friendship as you had originally hoped — this may indeed be the bottom line once the school and work obligations are whittled away. Time will tell. But until that is clear to you, keep staying in contact and trying to work it out.

Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@crayfish:  Brava! Loved what you wrote about those statistics. So true.

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