- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
So I have been having run ins with my BMs. I don’t know where all of this is stemming from or if it just life. I just want to know if I’m going crazy or if something is truly off with this situation. I moved from to Georgia over 1 1/2 years ago and all my BMs are in NJ. My Matron who is my sister resides in NC. I am having a destination wedding but within the US.
BM #1: On my former MOH is my BFF for 15-16 years now. She explained to me after she accepted the job title that she may be studying aboard in Europe during the time of the wedding and more than likely not attending. The original post is here. After, me and her discussed the situation we mutually decided it was best for her not to take the responsibility but still help where she can.
BM #2: Due to my BFF of 15 years stepped down I offered my other BFF the position which me and previous MOH decided it would be a good thing to ask her. She accepted with honor and was very excited. I was recently her MOH so she was excited to return the favor. Since then I can hardly get in contact with her, she doesn’t answer my texts or emails. My BMs do not have any responsibility but to buy their dresses and come to the wedding. So it really gets under my skin I can’t get in contact with her to say hey how are you doing. Which most of the time I call her for anyway. So today I shared a tip with my girls about plane travel that one the wedding guests have shared. Long and behold she texts me back as says.
“Hey, I don’t know how I’m going to do this coming to your wedding than having another friends wedding the same month in Virginia. If I get hired in September with teaching how I’m going to take a week off from work.”
Now previously when I was first engaged about the two weddings. I told her she will have to be at mine because it would be the same without her there. I told her if it would help to save money and meant she can come that the hubby did not have to come (I love him like a brother so it hurt to say). Because I know he would have to travel with her to the VA wedding since they are driving. Plus, all of our girlfriends would be at mine so she wouldn’t be lonely.
“She says of course he would be there he would not miss it for anything. Im going to make this work.”
So today I restate that he does have to come to save money if it meant she will be there. I also told her honesty is the best policy when getting hired at a new job to tell them the plans for time off you have already set in stone. Plus she would only need two days off for my wedding. So I receive no response.
BM #3: So, this has been my go to person besides my sister, since Matron is MIA. Has recently told be she got accepted to an excelerated graduate program starting in Sept. which she has to go to school on the weekends. (wedding is on a Saturday). Not sure if she can have the time off for the wedding. I’m crushed and starting to not like grad school lol j/k. She said she would see what she can do.
BM #4 & #5: I have not had any issues except I worried if my sister can afford everything.
So I am happy with my friends moving their lives in better direction improving themselves. I’m all for improving yourselves. But, I an starting thing to feel like why is this happening for my wedding. I have given everyone more than a years notice of the wedding and where it was going to be. I feel some family and my most best of friends are not caring or just not excited because I’m not around and they are not helping with every step of the planning. I don’t know but to be honest I just started crying today and just feel like eloping. FI is down as long as we keep the same place and are married by our pastor. This just hurts IDK…