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I would suggest you NOT make this about her size...pick another dress, or let each bridesmaid wear something different, similar in design or length or color...whatever. There are millions of dresses out there, with a little effort you can find something great! Size 14 is not huge, suggesting that she lose 20 pounds will not bode well...
I know that right now it might seem like a big deal but you have to remind yourself that it's just a dress. there are tons of dresses out there that I'm sure you will like just as much. And she's a close friend who I'm sure is so much more important to you than a dress.
post a picture and maybe the ladies here can come up with alternatives.
Beachybride, I'm not even planning on saying anything to her about it. She knew I was ordering the dress but I'm hoping she forgets! Like I said in my original post, I would NEVER suggest she lose weight to fit into the dress or make her feel bad about it. I'm just personally having a hard time getting over this.
Ugh, I love Anthro but their sizes are all over the place since they carry so many designers. I've ranged from a 0 to a 4 all in the same day with them. Crazy.
What about an Etsy seller or a local seamstress who could make the dresses for you?
what about having them wear different dresses? that way at least one person will be wearing the dress you love.
Either pick another dress that fits that you can try on in person before you buy or else have the dress recreated by a local seamstress that is made to fit her.
Meowkers: If you click on the green link in my original post, you can see the dress.
Lilyfaith: I thought about that, but honestly, the things I like about it, I'm not sure can be replicated exactly. The material is perfect and I'm not sure we could find it exactly... the ruffled collar is very unique, and I doubt could be redone. I'd rather just play it safe and get a different dress.
Artbee: I thought about having them wear different dresses too, but ultimately, that's not what I want. I like the look of uniformity and so does FI. Also, purples are hard to match and can often clash, especially in photos, so that would be hard to work around.
Ember: I am going to pick another dress, I'm just having a hard time moving on! :(
Have a seamstress alter it, it is easier than you would think and non wedding alterations (just say its a party dress) are cheaper than you would think.
@vistagirl, it doesn't matter if it's wedding dress or regular clothes, you can make something smaller with no problem when alterations are done but you can't make it bigger. Especially if there is little to no seam allowance inside as is the case with most clothes these days.
you can if you can find decent fabric or use the sash. I had it done on a bm dress that was ruched all on top. they used the sash tie thing and made me a differend sash since i was moh and she didn't mind if mine was different. the fabric was added on the underarm seams all the way down, it worked great!
what a drag. anthro dresses are SOOO adorable. i would be really bummed too if i found something i loved and it couldn't work out. no chance you could call and see if they make bigger sizes at an added cost (maybe it's just not listed on their website?)
Instead of resenting your bridesmaid, you should turn that energy into resenting Anthropologie, for making your size the largest size they carry... Ugh! Write them a strongly-worded letter! :)
Good luck finding another dress! I know it's rough when you think you found the perfect one, but it doesn't work out.
Thanks everyone... vistagirl, I don't think altering it would be an option. A different fabric down the sides would take away from it. I wish though!
I called and she didn't say they could make bigger sizes - I called because I was sure I had gotten a faulty dress! Maybe I will call again and ask if they could make one for me, but I doubt it, since they are corporate.
FI is not helping either - he's like, "Tell her to lose weight! That dress is perfect!" I'm like, "You saying its perfect is making this worse!!"
you could buy 2 and use the fabric, if it's really that perfect. maybe you could even use the rest of it to make a flower girl dress (so it wouldn't be a total waste) it would be expensive but that is still better than letting your bm hear your fiance. if it was me i would be humiliated to know that my size was causing such a problem.
I agree. Buy another one and use the second to add to the first to upsize it!
I wish we could do that... but I think it would be too expensive, honestly. She can't pay for it herself and that's not something that's in the budget.
Could you wear it to your rehearsal dinner, so it's incorporated into the wedding activities even though it won't be your bridesmaids dress?
Could you buy extra fabric when ordering the dresses??? If so you could have the dress made with the same fabric
I found this with the same kind of feel, but it's expensive:
This is cute too, but a little different... I'm not sure it's quite the look you're going for. It's only $78 though
smokipenelope: I'm thinking about doing that actually, but I feel so strongly that the dress is perfect for our wedding that I think it might make me sad that its not our bridesmaids' dresses! So it might be better for me to return it and forget I ever saw it :(
jennycv: That could be an option. Buying a whole other dress to alter it to fit her would be expensive but maybe they could sell me just the fabric? Again, because they are corporate and make their clothes in factories, I feel like this would be a long shot...
cinema: The Neiman Marcus dress is beautiful but about $200 over budget! The J Crew is cute but long sleeves don't work for our outdoor summer wedding unfortunately. Thanks so much for the suggestions though!
Anyone else have suggestions? I feel like I've looked at the entire Internet!
I posted this dress the other day on another thread from etsy seller cippcipp. It's not exactly like the Anthro dress (which is lovely by the way) but is simple and incorporates ruffles on the sleeves. You could inquire if she could make a dress in your friend's size (as well as match the purple shade you are going for). She will even send swatches.
bridesmaid_dress.jpg (100.1 KB, 58 downloads) 2 years old
I would die if I knew two dresses had to be sewn into one so I could fit into it... I would hate all the time i had to spend in the dress. I'd rather not be a bridesmaid than have to wear that dress.
I agree with smoki that you should wear the dress for the rehearsal. Just stop thinking about the dress as a bridesmaid dress and start thinking about it as your own totally awesome wedding coordinated rehearsal dinner dress :)
I would definitely complain to Anthro, esp. because several of the reviews says it runs true to size! That's ridiculous.
I found a couple of similar dresses from J. Crew, but none in purple, unfortunately :o(
That dress isn't made my Anthro, just distributed by them. The designer is actually Yoana Baraschi, you can look at her website here: http://www.yoanabaraschi.com/
Anthro might have a house brand (I know their sister store Urban Outfitters does) but for the most part the clothes you buy their can be found at a number of different stores. If you find something you like I would suggest looking up the designer/company and checking out their website.
Maybe contacting the actual design compay will help? Or since you like this dress you can find one similar on her website that comes in the correct sizes?
sadie: That dress is very cute! Though too low cut :( I will check out that etsy seller though!
babyboo: Thanks for the info! I think I might actually call the designer of that dress.
Okay, so update: I called Yoana Baraschi and asked if there was any way they could make a larger version of that dress. The short answer: no. They were nice about it, but apparently they have already made all those dresses already and don't have the material left, or something. He also mentioned that their clothes for Anthropologie are different than their regular line, and that their regular line only goes up to 12. I don't know why he told me that - it was sort of like, "Look, we gave you an extra size with that dress!" but I already told him it didn't fit so what was the point of saying that? Anyway. It was worth a try. I'm moving on. My BM actually asked me about it and I tried to downplay it a lot when telling her about the situation. She was like, "Oh, bummer, okay." So that's that.
I know this dress isnt the same as the one you posted, but I thought it was a similar design. Maybe she can make it in your color? I have never ordered anything from etsy so I dont know if thats an option for you. I just thought i would show you.
July- that is pretty gorgeous! Thanks for sharing. Unfortunately, my final cut-off point in terms of price is $200. :(
That anthro dress is super cute! Bummer about the fit ... here's one from Nordstrom's, don't know if it's the same feel you're going for though:
aww sorry about that! that would have been great if it worked out. hope you find something else
The dress July112010 posted is very similar to the Anthro dress...the designer (Carol Hannah) is on Project Runway....it might not hurt to email and see if she would give you a volume discount since you will be ordering more than 1. Who knows, she might be able to get you close to your $200 price point for ordering multiple dresses. It never hurts to ask!!!
Sadie- I totally did not notice that! I LOVE CAROL HANNAH. And now I want to "make it work" as Tim says! I just messaged her and asked for a discount. You are so right, it never hurts to ask! Cross your fingers, everyone!
Peanut- Thanks for the link to that dress! Its a great price and very cute but not exactly the look we're going for. My wedding is summer and outside and I don't know how well that jives.
Vistagirl- I thought about mixing and matching but I would just be doing it to include that dress, even though I'm not really into the look of mixing and matching. So I decided against it.
Update: It is very likely we are going to go with the Carol Hannah dress. However, at that pretty price, FI and I are going to help two of my three bridesmaids pay for them. We still haven't 100% decided yet but thank you july11 for showing it to me!
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So I recently ordered this Anthropologie dress for one of my bridesmaids to try on. It was PERFECT when it came in - 100 times better than the picture. Only one problem - we ordered the 14, the largest size, and it fit me perfectly - a size 10. There is no way in heck that it will fit her. She'd have to lose probably 20 pounds to fit into it, something I know she'd like to do but I would never ask her to do. I used to be heavier and I know how self-conscious it can make you, and also how hard it is to lose weight. So the dress is completely out of the picture.
I can't help it - I'm heartbroken. I didn't think I cared that much, but FI, my other bridesmaid, and I all fell in love with this dress. It is so perfect for our wedding. I feel myself resenting her for her weight controlling something that is important to me.
Help me get over this! Or do you know of a dress that is exactly the same?? I've seen the rosette collared ones from Dessy but its not as much the rosettes as the chic silhouette and the vibrant plum. I love the material - its not satin, but it has a sheen to it. Sigh. This is rough.