Post # 1
SORRY FOR THE LONG POST…I JUST REALLY NEED TO VENT RIGHT NOW =
I hope everyone’s planning has been going well! I’ve been having a lot of Bridesmaid or Best Man drama lately but I’m stilling hanging in there and trying to roll with the punches. One of the things that I’m finding really hard to fully let go is the dress drama. I really just need a reality check to make sure I’m not being completely unreasonable here…
We’re having a super soft, romantic, spring colored wedding – blush pinks, cream, and gold. All my bridesmaids knew going in that we’re having a pink wedding and everyone seemed fine with that. Well, I just recently started bridesmaids dress. I really wanted to try to find a flowy chiffon dress that I felt like could be worn again so that they weren’t completely wasting their money. I’ve been to 2 appointments, 3 places with my BMs (1st dress appt with 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man, 2nd dress appt with 2 other BMS) and finally found THE dress that I’ve been picturing for them in the exact color that I’ve been envisioning. (Apparently the exact pink I was looking for was insanely difficult to find but I finally found it and I was ecstatic!)
Well at both appointments, ALL of my BMs expressed that they didn’t want to wear pink…even though we’re having a pink wedding. And they ALL wanted me to change the dress color to purple instead…even though it’s a pink wedding. They were all concerned that the light pink wouldn’t look great on their skin tone (they’re all asian with varying degrees of tan) but I found that pink in other styles and I thought it looked fine on them. I even googled “blush bridesmaids dresses” and found a couple pictures of asian bridesmaids in light pink and I thought it looked great. Then when they saw that the color looked fine, they said the gray-purple was more universal and they could probably wear it throughout the year and with the pink, it really was only a spring dress. I understand all of this and I do agree with them that purple is more wearable throughout the year, so I bit my tongue and told them I’d think about the purple…even though deep down, I was really really peeved at the whole situation. My wedding dress has a sash that’s close to the purple they all wanted but I was planning on having only myself and my fiance in that purple, with the rest of the bridal party in pink. They haven’t pushed too much after that but I find that it still really bothers me deep down that they all want me to change the color of their dress, which to me is almost like changing the whole identity of the wedding.
Is it wrong for me to want them to wear pink regardless of whether or not it can only be worn in spring (btw, we’re having a spring wedding)? And am I being unreasonable that I only want my fiance and I in purple? I don’t know…I feel really confused right now. My fiance and I really have our hearts set on a blush pink wedding but my BMs seem really against it…
Post # 3
And who’s wedding is this?? Oh I’m sorry for a moment there I thought it was your bridesmaids!!!!
The truth is IMO if the bride wants her bridesmaids to wear an elephant suit it is what the Bridesmaids should wear if they agreed to be a part of your wedding… I am NOT talking about being a bridezilla here but when a bride has a vision for her wedding then you should not change that vision just becuase they ‘might’ wear the dress again… they might not and you changed your entire wedding to please them! errmm No…
Post # 4
I am confused why you want you and your Fiance in purple if you’re having a pink wedding. I’m just not seeing it.
But as for your BM’s – it’s your wedding. If you want them to wear yellow and puke green polka dots, then that’s what they’re wearing!
Post # 5
What about a color that would look good with pink? Grey or black?
Post # 6
If pink isn’t really their style, I can see them being hesitant and asking you to consider another color. I personally don’t care for the color pink and wouldn’t be thrilled about having to get a pink dress. However, at the end of the day, it is your wedding and if you want them in pink then they should wear pink.
Post # 7
Just say girls I really did consider the purple but have decided that it’s really not my vision, and have decided firmly on the pink dresses- you girls will look beautiful no matter what.
Post # 8
This is YOUR wedding. In no way should you feel bad about them wearing a pink dress. When I was in my best friend’s wedding this May, I wore and bought everything she asked me to, as did the other bridesmaids- no complaints. I hope they realize that they are being selfish and that whenever it’s their turn, they will want to decide what their BMs wear. By The Way, where is that dress from? I love it! I am using light pink and light yellow and I think this color would be perfect!
Post # 9
I think you need to put your foot down for pink dresses. I am all for compromising on the style of dress, making sure the dresses fit the body type of the bridesmaids, etc. But as far as color, color to me should be non-negotiable as far as what the bride wants. A bride sets out to design a wedding using certain colors in the decorations, decor, etc. and matches the bridal party accordingly. The bridesmaids don’t get to choose colors for the wedding – of which the dresses are a part.
Post # 10
My wedding colors are pink and champagne. I went with a champagne colored dress because I knew some of the girls wouldn’t want to wear pink; but had the same complaints about champagne – that it can wash out some girls / doesn’t look good with their skin tone.
Honestly, its YOUR wedding so they should shut up and do whatever you want. 🙂 I think they will always give opinions but you have to put your foot down. I had to with my sister/MOH who insisted on wearing a short dress when I decided long. It took a bit but she backed down!
The dresses you picked out are really pretty! And as much as bm’s say they’ll wear it again they probably won’t anyways!
Post # 11
You are right. They are wrong. A bridesmaid’s duty is to do and wear what the BRIDE wants her too, not argue about it. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this but it is your day, your vision, and your friends need to get on board with it. (Apparently none of them have either been a Bridesmaid or Best Man before or gotten married, if they had they should understand how to act properly as a supportive BM)
Post # 12
You say they’ve stopped pushing so really you just have to let it go. I know it bothers you that they don’t like the color of the dresses, but they seem to have accepted it. That means they love you! :p I know if I had to wear that color, it would bug the crap out of me because I haaaaaate pink, but I would do it and would try not to complain to the bride about it! If they go back to complaining, ask them if they would rather just not be in the wedding? That should shut them up.
Post # 13
They can always dye the dresses after the wedding if they want to make them more useable…the style is great….no harm dying it!
Post # 14
If they’re paying for the dress, I think they have a bit of a say. I would suggest going with a black or grey dress with a nice pink accent. Honestly, a pink dress like that isn’t something I would wear again…so a nice black dress might be the best way to go.
Post # 15
It’s your wedding. And those are lovely dresses. I’m not a fan of pink, but when one of my girls wanted hot pink halter dresses for her bridesmaids (at the end of September) guess what I wore? Point is, they’ve expressed their opinion, you’ve considered it, you like the pink, they have to get over it or remove themselves from the bridal party.
Post # 16
WOW they should suck it up! It’s not an outrageous colour (i love pink), and the dress is so cute too. It’s one day, and its YOUR day. They should be there for you, to wear what you say. Don’t feel bad at all!!!