(Closed) Bridesmaid’s duties

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

Your venue might very well do those things for you……have you asked them? 

Post # 5
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think asking for help with set-up and not wanting the wedding party there for photos are two separate issues.  For the set up I think it depends a lot on the type of wedding you are having and the individual BM’s.  I don’t think it’s fundamentally inappropriate, though.  If your MOH is discouraging it, she probably knows the situation better and maybe you should listen to her.

I still think, though, that its okay to ask for some privacy for the photo sessions.  Most photographers encourage this anyway.  I also think it’s totally legit to be upfront with your BM’s about this.  Even if your FI wasn’t shy it would still be hard to get nice romantic couple shots with a bunch of people around. 

I’m not sure on your timeline, are you doing photos before the ceremony?  B/c if after, then where will the rest of your guests be while you’re taking your photos.  Maybe your BM’s could go there?  If before, i don’t think you can just pack them off to nowhere, but can you set up some nice champaigne and snacks at the ceremony site so they can relax before you get there?

Post # 6
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

My venue did some of those things.  But I also asked my BMs to fix the tables a bit.  The favors looked like they needed fixing.  I don’t think that’s asking too much.  That’s why they’re there.    As long as they’re in some pictures.

Post # 7
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2018

I don’t feel like asking your BMs is the best option, simply because they’ll probably be stressed enough with other things going on that day. I know sometimes those are the kinds of things that turn BMs into frenemies post-wedding. I definitely think they would completely understand if you asked them to NOT be there for all the photos, etc.

 Do you have any friends who are really into wedding planning and details? One of my friends who isn’t in the wedding asked if she could be at the reception site day of to make sure everything ran smoothly. I also asked one of my aunts who I am very close to and one of my fiance’s aunts to be there and help make sure everything gets set up appropriately. Is this an option for you? If not, and no one else is available to help with set-up, then, yes, ask the bridesmaids… just don’t be too surprised if they aren’t thrilled about it. 

Post # 8
Member
30 posts
Newbee

I would ask them to help in that capacity.  I did ask my bridesmaids (we took our pics before the ceremony) so after the ceremony, they were able to zoom over to the reception area.

Post # 9
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I have a friend who recently got married, and she asked her friends to help set up since she didn’t have a DOC. They were lucky in that they had a lot of friends who had traveled from Atlanta to Texas for the wedding and had nothing to do utnil they got ready that morning, so they all got together and helped set up.

I think the bride also set up snacks and drinks for them to enjoy while they set up and had fun music playing so that it ended up being more of a fun time than a chore. 

Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My venue actually did those things for me, and it was included in the price, so we didn’t have to pay extra.  So, definately ask your venue.  As far as asking your BMs, it’s not difficult work, so it wouldn’t hurt to ask.  Shoot, in my family it’s actually not uncommon for the bridal party and family to come setup everything as the halls my family has used for weddings.  My wedding wasn’t in a place like that, so the help wasn’t necessary, but for events like that people are usually very willing to help.  Asking never hurts, and they could always say no, but I’m sure they just want you to have a great day so they would probably be glad to do it.

Post # 11
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We’ll be getting everyone in our wedding party to help decorate the morning of the wedding!  There’s 12 of us altogether including the bride and groom.  I figure with that many people it shouldn’t take very long at all.

Post # 12
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I think its ok to ask for help, I just wouldn’t think of it as a "duty"!! I hate the whole concept of BM duties to be honest….

Post # 13
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think just as long as your BM know they won’t have to do any labor (i.e setting up chairs/ tables & getting sweaty) they will be happy to help. I know as a BM I want to help my friend on her day so if she asks me to set glasses on a table or put out place cards I would. Your girlfirends will understand about your situation with your coordinator and will probably be even more enticed to help.

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