Post # 1
I have 8 bridesmaids. 6 of them are the best and attended the bachelorette party and are geniunely interested in everything and have been helping out. Out of the two remaining, one of them couldn’t afford to attend the bachlorette party but still is one of my best friends. The last bridesmaid decided to not attend the bachlorette party to celebrate her own birthday elsewhere. For my bachlorette party, two other friends attended (who are not part of the bridal party).
I want to know–should I get everyone the same bridesmaid gift? I am planning on getting them Tiffany’s bracelets, and I think they would really like that. But should I get the two girls who didn’t attend the party the same bracelets, considering that one of them decided not to come for her own selfish reasons? And do I get the other two girls who are not in my bridal party something as well? Or do I have to get them the Tiffany’s bracelets? I am trying to stay within the budget.
Post # 3
I say get all the bridesmaids the same gift – I don’t think wanting to celebrate her birthday is an offense at all.
The other two I would write nice thank you cards but I don’t think you need to get them a gift
Post # 4
Thanks! I think that sounds right–I definitely don’t want people to be left out. I do feel that celebrating her birthday is a little offensive, considering wedddings happen only once!
Post # 5
I think you should get all the BMs the same gifts, to thank them for supporting you at the wedding. Otherwise the 2 girls might feel like they are being punished.
I do agree with you that it’s a bit of a shame she didn’t come to your shower due to her birthday, but leaving her out of the bracelet gifts might come across as sort of a bit revengeful (is that a word?), whereas you want to take the high road and treat them all the same.
The ones who are not in your bridal party, I don’t think you need to get gifts. Just thank you cards as PP said.
Post # 6
@thelittlespoon: I think that a little obnoxious. The only thing a BM is required to do is buy the dress and show up to the wedding. Everything else is extra.
Does it suck that your friend could not afford the bach, yes. But how do you think she feels? Probably embarrassed that she could not afford to be there. Being IN a wedding, as an attendent costs about $1000. So, for her not to be able to afford the bach, not everybody’s financial situation is the same.
As far as your friend who’s birthday it was? I did that once. I spent my birthday at my friend’s bach… and not only do I regret doing it, it was one of the worst birthdays I have had, and the bach wasn’t anything special that I felt I should have skipped my birthday for. Could I go back in time, I would have done my birthday instead.
I think it’s selfish of you.
As far as the braclets, if you’re gifts for the BMs, you don’t get them gifts based on what events they did not did not attend, you get them gifts for being in the wedding and being your friend.