Post # 1
My bridesmaids and I are all in a different wedding this summer as bridesmaids. This bride won’t be paying for our hair. None of my friends feel comfortable doing their hair themselves. They are all going to separate salons to get it done.
Next summer for my wedding, I don’t care what their hair looks like or if they do it themselves, but I would love to save them some $$ and would love to get ready with them. But, getting a bridesmaids updo at my salon costs $75 (including 20% tip). Our budget for bridesmaids gift is more like $50 per person. Furthermore, if we just outright payed for their hair, I would kind of feel like a controlling bride, like I was “making them” get an updo, when I’m really just trying to save them money. Second, I would also feel the need to get them another gift to open at the rehearsal dinner.
The salon is a full service spa (hair/nails/makeup/massage). Would it be tacky for us to gift them $50 to the spa (along with a card, something else small)? That way, they could get their hair, nails, or makeup done. And, we could all at least be at the spa together.
The alternative is to give them something personal, let them pay for their hair whereever they want on their own dime.
They will all be college students/ young graduates on a budget.
Their only expense is the dress ($80), since they all already have the color of shoes I’ll be chosing.
What do you think? Tacky?
Post # 3
I think it sounds really nice! You can all be getting different things done, but at the same place – and it gives them something nice but lets them choose.
Post # 4
I think the spa gift card is great as long as you don’t expect or require them to use it on something wedding related.
Post # 5
I agree as long as it isn’t expected to be usedfor the wedding the gift card is awesome… Otherwise it is going to come accross is a little demanding, here is a gift card but you have to use it for your hair for my wedding…
Post # 6
I think it’s a bit tacky to “gift” them something that they would be doing for you. It’s like giving someone a really nice chocolate bar, then expecting them to chop it up and put it on your ice cream sundae. If you really don’t care who does their hair, make their gift completely unrelated, or treat them to massage gift certificates— anything but hair. I mean, you say they’re college students; they’re not idiots, and they know they’ll need to have their hair done for their roles in your wedding. They’ll either go to your salon on their own, or they’ll go somewhere that’s more in their budget. By giving them a gift card to the salon where you’re planning to get your hair done and making it part of the wedding prep, you’re sending a message that some might not recieve positively.
Post # 7
I actually did the exact same thing… paid for the girls hair which was $50.00 each (for 5 girls) but decided in the end since I got them the gift certificates and specifically asked them to be spent on hair, that I’d also like to get them another gift for that day. I ended up finding really reasonably priced personalized compact mirrors on etsy. I really didn’t want their only gift to be something wedding related.
Post # 8
I think maybe you should either just pay for the hair or, if that’s more than you wanted to spend, get them something else more in your price range.
I do kind of agree that either way, you should also get them a little gift that is not to be used for your wedding.
Post # 9
@Mrs.H2B The compact mirror is a great idea. I was going to get them those hangers with their names on them. Similar!
I think the perspective all kind of depends on the bridesmaids budgets. Most bridesmaids I know have appreciated getting shoes, saving them money on that. But, since they will already have the shoes, I was hoping to save them an additional expense.
It seems kind of silly to have them pay more $$ for my wedding, for the sake of etiquette. But, I guess nothing about a wedding really makes sense.
Considering the split opinions, I’ll have to ask my MOH/a bridesmaid or two.
Post # 10
I think it’s great as long as you make it very clear that they don’t need to use it for your wedding and they’re welcome to come hang out at the spa while you get stuff done (if your spa is cool with that).
You know how sometimes you see bridesmaids get necklaces for a gift, and you can tell one or two don’t really dig it, but they’re like, “Oh I’ll wear this with my dress,” because they figure that’s what the bride wants? I’d hate to see that happen with the spa gift certs, especially since it sounds like they wouldn’t even cover all of what the girls may feel expected to do.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lovely gift! Every girl can use a little pampering now and then, especially on a budget where you can’t afford it for yourself. But just be careful to present it in a, “Use it whenever you want” way and not a “So now you can get your hair done for my wedding if you want,” way.
Post # 11
Offer them instead.
Say listen girls I’m so thank blah blah blah I am planning to do/ get you something each for being my girls up there, but I also know that you’re all wanting to get your hair done so I’ll make you an offer and the choice is completely yours: either I can stick with my original plan and do my own thing, or if you’d like I will pay for you hair to be done at X salon, day off.
And then whatever they choose you know it was their best choice. And they will feel less weird saying I’m broke please pay for my hair 😛