Bridesmaids hair situation advice

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
8701 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

If you want their hair to be done for the day of, you pay for it. If you’re not going to pay for it, the bridesmaid does not have to, either. It isn’t your place nor within your rights to dictate how somebody should save or spend their money. Hair is just not a priority for some people, and that’s perfectly alright.

If this is a “requirement” for you, then you’ll need to cough up the 40 bucks. It’s your wedding after all. If this isn’t a requirement, then I suggest you come to terms with the fact that someone won’t be getting their hair done with you. 

Post # 4
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@cmlisenk:  can u not offer to pay for it yourself? Like you said it is only saving 5 dollars a week. If it is because she does not want it still after you offered to pay for it, I would try to insist on it… and make her understand it is important for everyone to have a uniform look for your photos etc. 

Post # 6
Member
7193 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@cmlisenk: I think it is generally accepted that if the bride requires pro hairdressing, she should pay. For what it’s worth, I once saw that on an Emily Post web site. It might be “only” $40, but for many girls, the costs of being a bridesmaid just keep going up and up and sooner or later she’s got to say no.

Post # 8
Member
8701 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@cmlisenk:  I don’t see the problem. She can’t afford it, but it’s still getting done. The end justifies the means. She’ll look lovely, so does it really matter whether or not she throws away 40 bucks or whether she gets it for free?

Post # 9
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

yup like the other’s have said, you just save $5 bucks a week and in no time you’ll have the money to pay for her hair, then it will all be the same.

Post # 11
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Unfortunately hun, bridesmaids don’t owe you anything, its nice that they do chip in but they are doing you a favor by being there for you. You should always have money set aside for wedding emergencies and things that come up. This is a great example.

What if something came up for her?

Post # 12
Member
8701 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

You asked them to be in your wedding. You asked them to pay for a dress to be in your wedding. Most likely they threw/will throw a bachelorette party for you. They had to pay for accomodations/makeup/hair for your wedding. Asianbarbie is right — They owyou absolutely nothing. If it really upsets you and you really want it, then offer to pay for it. As you said, “It’s only 5 dollars a week.” If it’s only 40 dollars than you shouldn’t have any troubles paying for it.

If this is not the way you want to work this, than I highly suggest you learn to deal with it. This bridesmaid doesn’t owe you anything at all, so if she doesn’t want to pay to get her hair done, she absolutely does not have to. Trying to berate the character of the woman by saying that she can afford to go out to bars but not give you 40 bucks for the stylist is absurd. Her priorities are that — She doesn’t want to pay 40 bucks for someone to do her hair for one single solitary day. What she spends her money on is none of your business and none of your say.

Post # 15
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@cmlisenk:  You shouldn’t judge how she spends her money. She has no obligation to spend money on your wedding. If you want their hair or make-up done, I would pay for it myself. 

Post # 16
Member
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@cmlisenk:  Sorry OP, I’m firmly in the camp that if you are requiring professional hair and/or make-up you need to pay.  If she can’t afford it, then she can’t afford and you need to trust her.  When I was in college, $40 was A LOT and I’d much rather spend it on being social with my friends or buying food or putting it towards rent than getting my hair done for someone else’s wedding (especially when there is someone who will do it for free).  Remember, your wedding is your #1 priority, but for everyone else, it’s like #17.  It’s unfair to think that all of her extra money should first be spent on you.

I’d offer to pay or just let the other BM do it.  And if it’s the latter, I’d still invite her to the salon.  3 of my 5 BMs didn’t get their hair done but they still came to the salon to hang out while me and the other 2 BMs got our hair done.  It was fun and not awkward at all!

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors