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It seems to me like the friendship is running its course on its own. It sounds like when you move they aren't going to keep in touch so just I just wouldn't say anything.
So...do I ask other people to be my bridesmaids? Do I tell these girls that I've changed my mind?
it sounds like they're dispensable and that you'd feel more comfortable if they weren't in the wedding party. would you have to replace them though? maybe you can just down-size and not replace them?
I think you have the right idea to downsize. Would you still want them to be guests? If you don't have people you are really close to (who are available to be bridesmaids, i.e. go to your bachelorette party and at least help in the days surrounding the wedding), don't match the number of groomsmen. Depending on your ceremony, it may not even be noticable that you have different size parties. Remember that bridemaids are supposed to help support you, not stress you out. Do what's best for you!
Ohhh!! I feel ya!!! 2 of my 4 bridesmaids used to be really close with me and we've all drifted apart...we all have kids (2 and under) and its hard to keep in touch like we used to before we had kids. They have done nothing to help with the wedding and have not ONCE called to see if I needed help with anything. They complain about costs when they KNEW signing up to be a bridesmaid costs $$!! Sorry, I will end my rant here, I could keep going on, but I wont.
I think you need to think about what YOU want, if they aren't apart of your current life and aren't making a point to invlove you in theirs, then I say move on and tell them you are downsizing. You don't have to have even bridal parties!
Good Luck!
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Three of the girls (out of 5) I selected to be my bridesmaids used to be my closest friends, but in the time I've been with my FI, we've drifted very far apart. We lived near each other but every time I arranged to hang out with them, it was never reciprocated. I asked them to be my bridesmaids because I didn't have anyone else to ask (I don't have many close friends because of my busy schedule) and my groom really wanted a large bridal party.
I'm moving out West (I live on the East Coast right now) really soon, and I really need some advice from the hive. Do I keep making the effort to keep in touch with them and involve them in my wedding, or do I tell them I'm downsizing the bridal party? The idea of having people in my bridal party who aren't really good friends to me these days stresses me out!!!