Post # 1
I have been planning for my wedding for 6 months every since day 1 I have consulted some of my oldest and closest friends to be my bridesmaids.
SO i picked three girls my maid of honor my friend friend for 12yrs went to grade school together. My second oldest friend of 10 yrs. A more recent friend of 2 yrs.
Maid of honor has yet to help me in 6 months with any of my planning of 6 months and there are only 2 a half weeks until the wedding. However I still have faith in her I know come the day of the wedding she’ll be great.
My second oldest friend has stepped up to the plate. Helping me with planning favors invitations you name it. Not to mention she lives 20+ miles away.
The other bridesmaid however has not only showed me once but twice My wedding is certinly not her priorty. NOT to mention she lives across the street not even 25 feet away. Just now informs me she will not be making it to my bridal shower this weekend. That she’s known in advance about! She has other plans this being told 3 days before my shower!
I’m so stressed out and above all hurt and don’t know what to do.
Post # 3
My fsil just dropped out as bridesmaids 2 months before the wedding. I think sometimes people are just insensitive and don’t think about how their actions are affection others.
Post # 4
Well, not all bridesmaids suck. At least not two of yours.
Although we all have wedding brains here, it is important to keep in mind that some ppl are completely unaware of what wedding or being bridesmaids entail. Nowadays, bridesmaids are also not obligated to do anything except for standing up with you the day of your wedding (& buying and/or wearing a dress). Some bridesmaids would even fail to do that. Just keep your expectations low and ask other people who may be more interested/open to help you out. Take care!
Post # 5
I’m sorry :(. That must be really tough! Sometimes bridesmaids don’t really know what they’re supposed to be doing. Honestly, if someone asked me to be a bridesmaid LAST year, I would’ve just assumed it meant being at the wedding, standing with the bride. If anyone ever asked me since I’m planning a wedding, I know there’s much more to it than that. Are any of them married? Maybe they don’t know how important it is to you?
I didn’t go to one of my best friend’s weddings because I didn’t know how important it was… I took a kid I mentor to a 3 day concert instead (we had planned it for a year thou & my friend knew that). Now that I’m planning my wedding, I see that “oh I could have offered my friend help” or “maybe I should have done something else with the kid I mentor so I could go to her wedding”. Not trying to give em excuses, but maybe you just need to talk to them about it… just don’t start in an accusing “hey you’re supposed to do this for me” type way. Maybe a “it would mean SO much to me if you could make it to the shower, so if you’re other plans change, I would love it if you came”.
Hopefully it all works out & they see how important this is to you! But, you will have plenty of friends supporting you, so don’t focus on who’s not there if they don’t come… focus on who’s there now & celebrate!! Good luck!
Post # 6
Thats what I’m trying to do and it helps a lot! I keep thinking about all of the people that will be there and super excited than on the ones that aren’t.
Post # 7
Focus on yourself and those around you who do care and suggest that after the wedding I would say you can very sincerely let her know how disappointed you are. Good luck with everything and best wishes! I feel your stress, I’m a March bride too!
Post # 8
I agree with others who said your “bad” Bridesmaid or Best Man likely just doesn’t know she is supposed to be giving you a hand and being a better source of support. If you have time, I would talk to her about how you feel. My Maid/Matron of Honor sort of dropped off the face of the planet for a long time, so I know how you feel. Good luck sort this out, and remember to ENJOY your wedding, regardless of those around you who aren’t as into is as you are!
Post # 9
I agree with @serabell if I had realized when I was a bridesmaid in the first wedding I was in I would’ve really stepped up my game in the bridesmaid arena. But it’s hard when you’ve nopt been a bridesmaid before and don’t really understand how important it is!
Post # 10
I’m sorry, that stinks. Sometimes girls that haven’t been married just don’t know what the responsibilities are of being a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Have you asked her for specific help?
Maybe mention that since she can’t make it to your shower- that you’d like to have some one-on-one time before the wedding craziness starts. Maybe she could come across the street for wine and to just hang out?