(Closed) Bridesmaid's surprised reaction

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
9074 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Not everybody will be estatic to be your bridesmaid. You shouldn’t take it personally. They’re still going to be standing beside you and helping you through. When I was asked to be a bridesmaid, I wasn’t over the moon thrilled. Was I happy she asked? Of course I was, but I know some women see being a bridesmaid as being saddled with responsibility for your wedding. I know I felt that way.

Post # 5
9074 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

You’re pretty excited, emotions are running way high off the charts. I’d just take a breath, dry your eyes and be happy she didn’t sound repulsed (“Oh dear god no. Why would I do that?“) and know that, at the end of the day, you’re going to have a husband you love and beautiful bridesmaids at your side.

I can understand being a little taken aback. I asked my bridesmaids pretty early on and one of them even gave me a “sure.” with a shrug. I kind of expected it from her, so it really didn’t hurt. No one is going to be as excited about your wedding as you are, so I guess that sometimes makes people have unrealistic expectations of how others should react.

Just give yourself a little breather and remind yourself that you’re going to have a beautiful wedding.

Post # 7
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

it sounds like she is a close friend and is already going to take being a Bridesmaid or Best Man seriously. she doesn’t just want to stand up with you, she wants to make sure she can do a good job of it! that’s actually great. there are many stories on the bee about BMs who didn’t care that much.

I am sure she is excited for you, perhaps anxious since she has a little part in making things go smoothly, but will be a great addition to your ‘team bride’

Post # 8
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@doubtingdebbieah:  it might be about not wanting to let you down. we’ve all read threads by brides who want their BMs not only to get the dress, but to attend venue searches, brides dress hunt, Bridesmaid or Best Man dress hunt etc

so maybe shes thinking “yes..but i cant make 20 trips to your state and i dont want it to affect the friendship”

it could also be financial. yes, its nice to be asked (for a lot of people) but (in the US) it also comes with buying an expensive dress and whatnot.and people dont always have spare hundreds of dollars lying around

another reason could be social anxiety…scared to stand up in public

so there are loads of reasons she could have reservations, none of them meaning she doesnt care about you!

dont take it to heart!

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