Post # 1
I’m having an issue with 1 of my BMs. My Maid of Honour is my sister. However i have recently sent them all a msg regarding prices for dresses. I asked them if $220 was too much to ask them to pay for a dress. My sister is kicking up a stink saying she can’t afford it with hair and makeup and shoes etc.
What should i do? i wish i could help her out financially but my partner and i are footing the bill for the WHOLE wedding and can’t afford any more expenses.
Your opinions would be greatful xxx
Post # 3
@futuremrslennon: $220 is a lot for a bridesmaid dress!! Isn’t there a less expensive dress option?
Post # 4
When I decided what kind of Bridesmaid or Best Man dress I wanted for my ladies, I asked them each, individually and privately, what their dress budget was. I am looking for dresses that are ok with the lowest budget given to me. Did you ask them how much they wanted to spend (privately, so no one would be embarrassed to say they can’t afford something)?
As for the hair, make-up, and shoes: they should not be required to pay for professional hair and make-up; they should be able to wear their own shoes, and if you specify a particular shoe you should pay for it. Would that help her burden of cost?
Post # 5
I’d pick a less expensive dress, that’s an awful lot to ask of your BMs if you’re not willing to cover for those who are uncomfortable paying that much.
Post # 6
That really is asking a lot, especially when you figure in the other costs.
Post # 6
Are you requiring them to have their hair and makeup done?
While I don’t think $220 is unreasonable for Bridesmaid or Best Man dress I do think that if you are requiring your BMs to have their hair and makeup done that you should pay for it.
Post # 7
Your sister has a point, if your asking them to have their hair and makeup done and buy new shoes, $220 on top of that could be too much. Since you’re not in a position to help her pay for it, could you ask her to skip giving you a wedding gift in order to cover the cost of the dress and other expenses?
Post # 8
Are you requiring her to get her hair and makeup done? Or is that a choice she is making?
If you are requiring her (and the other BMs) to get hair and makeup done I’d either pay for that for them, or remove the requirement for them to get it done. That may free up some money for the dress.
$220 is a fair bit for a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress though, are there other options?
Post # 9
Post a picture of the dress and I’m sure we will be able to find a cheaper version of it. Also they shouldnt have to pay for hair and makeup
Post # 10
Mayybe you should ask all your bridesmaids what price they feel comforable in paying for a dress after they factor in all the other stuff they will have to pay for too. It’s in your best interest to ask them there opinion on this so as not to have too many issues between you all. I have been there with the whole bridemaid dress issues and it nots fun to have angry friends over a dress. Good luck!
Post # 11
Well, in my opinion, if you asked them if $220 is too much to pay, and one of the maids said yes, I think you need to find another dress. I don’t think its right to ask that, and then turn around and ask them to buy it anyways. I think its great you are taking their budgets into account. Ask the girls what they are comfortable paying for a dress and find a dress in that range. To help defray costs, let them wear shoes they already have or just a pick a simple color and let them buy their own shoes. Let them do their own hair/makeup too and that will save money they can put towards the dress. I would be especially sensitive since this is your sister and your Maid/Matron of Honor. Generally a maid of honors incurs more expenses than regular bridesmaids for the shower and bachelorette in my experience. I’d be as understanding as possible.
Post # 12
I agree with PP’s, if your set on this dress you need to help find a way to make everything more affordable for her. Makeup and hair should not be a requirement unless you are willing to foot the bill
Post # 13
I’d choose a different dress or ask how much she can afford and give her the difference.
Post # 14
if you want to keep that dress and you can’t afford to pay for all of your sister’s dress, then you should at least pay the difference between 220 and the cost she can afford.
Post # 15
I think I agree with your sister. A $220 dress is one thing, but if you are also requiring them to purchase new shoes AND pay for professional hair/makeup its a bit much, considering that they will also be footing the bill for your shower and your bachelorette party… Being a bridesmaid can be very expensive, so I told my BMs they could wear any shoes they wanted, that they didn’t have to have their hair done and then I paid for their makeup & manis/pedis. I didn’t want anyone to feel like being a part of my wedding was a financial burden.