Bridesmaids Vent time.

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
7203 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@hillsab03:  At the risking of sounding harsh: I think 9 BMs is asking for trouble. You can drop those girls if you want, but why bring in backups? I suggest staying with a smaller bridal party.

Post # 4
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@paula1248:  agree

I think “back-ups” arent a good idea. Bridesmaids should be those that are very close to you and not necessarily expendable…

Post # 5
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@hillsab03:  That is super frustrating, but yes, unfortunately the more BMs, the more variables and possibilities for issues like this. Stick with a smaller bridal party because you are getting the people that really want to be there for you, that are sure to respond for you when you need them, and you and everyone will be all the happier for it. Best wishes on your planning!

Post # 9
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@hillsab03:  Ugh. One that asked to be in the bridal party is now one of the first to back out? That’s a shame. Well, at least you they told you early enough. I would give the rest of these girls a deadline and that if they pass it, you might have a serious conversation with each of them saying you don’t want to pressure them but you need to move forward and plan. If they’d rather come as guests, no hard feelings, and then leave it up to them to make the final decision, in or out. 

Post # 12
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@hillsab03:  I see. Well, maybe it is time for you to stick to your deadline, or postpone just one more time. It’ll work out. Just don’t let them bring your spirit down.

Post # 13
Member
7404 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@hillsab03:  Did you discuss budgets individually with these women prior to selecting a dress? If 7 out of 9 BM’s are saying they do not have the money then I think that you have selected a dress that is too expensive for your BM’s and their financial situation. I guess what you have to decide is what is more important having your friends stand up with you at your wedding or them all wearing the same dress? Hopefully the answer the the latter and you can let them all wear whatever dress they can afford in a particular colour.

Post # 15
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Bridesmaids get such a tough deal in the buy their own dress areas.

I bought my BM’s dresses because that is what you do in the UK. That meant that I could only have the girls I really wanted as I was paying.

As a result I have two amazing girls who have been fabulous and another excellent friend doing a reading.

I know that dosent help you, but I felt the need to defent Bridesmaids everywhere.

In your case, you dont seem to be all that bothered and niether do they. So dump them and pick up some others somewhere.

Post # 16
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i have 4 (including my brother)  3 girls was a very easy number to manage.  i’ve had no problems and this has been an awesome experience.

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