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@kcq80: I'm so sorry they sound awful and quite frankly like the worst bms EVER. Is it too late to get rid or them all and pick new ones? I mean come on, unhelpful and they want to wear white (that is the brides colour ivory and cream are off limits too) and did I read right? They want a train?! WTF! Cut your losses (in this case ungrateful witch like bridesmaids) and start over. At this point bms who aren't close to you who atleast don't give you a hard time would be better than what you've got now.
I don't think you should expect things from your bridesmaids. This may put me in the minority but they really aren't your muscle in the planning parts (unless there is something you ask them to do in a very detailed way). There are so many personal choices you have to make. I would never leave it up to a bridesmaid in the planning stages.
It's easier to not expect them to throw all their energy behind your wedding day. They all have their own lives. Unless you expressly tell them what you want them to do, they aren't really going to take the initiative. They need your guidance. So many you should have a conversation with them to start.
Towards the later stages of the planning, especially the day of, you might need their assistance. You shoudl figure out what specifically you will need them to do and ask them to do it. If it doesn't happen, do it yourself and move on. There is so much joy to be had. Don't let this silly stuff get in the way.
As far as wearing white, that's just silly. They will have to suck it up and smile. Don't let it bug you.
I had 7 girls and 1 just dropped out over the weekend...and can I say I AM SO Happy that she did....because she was making this process total HELL for me.
I recommend that you let the ladies know how you feel. That their hurtung your feelings and making this process even more stressful. Those that are truly happy for you and want to be there for you will take notice to what you say, and should back off, and be more supportive, those who dont you know that they are not for you.
I know exactly how you feel. But I must say I am so relieved to have that monkey off my back!!!
@LuckyJuls: I agree 100%
Whilst I don't quite get the train on the dress thing, I have seen quite a few bridesmaids in white lately (since the royal wedding!) and a long time ago the BM's did wear white to confuse the spirits/mauraders from the next village.
I don't understand the dress stress stuff because where I come from the bride pays for the BM dresses (which means they can have more of a say in what it will be) and can never understand how anyone could make a BMpay for a dress specifically for their wedding. If you want to reign in the BM's maybe pay for the dresses!
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Hello, I have been planning my wedding for 7months now and it was a priority from the beginning to make my bridesmaids feel important. Thought the process they have said and done things that have hurt me greatly. For example, some want to wear white because “no other colors look good on them” or picking a dress with a long train and telling me I should have picked a longer train" And other things that have ruined what should be a joyful time in my life.
None of my five BM has helped me once in 7months and whenever I do get a hold of them they make me wish I didn’t have a wedding to plan. I personally feel that the experience of planning my wedding has been ruined by them. I have never found myself feeling this much stress and sadness. The experience of planning my wedding is more of a priority to me now.. than to even have BMs.
I was hoping to get advice on what to do because I really want to enjoy the last couple of months of planning.