(Closed) Bridesmaids who don't know ANYTHING about being bridesmaids….

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

My 3 BMs and my MOH didn’t have the foggiest either. It didn’t really bother me since I plan on doing most things myself (I’m a bit of a control freak), but my MOH was so excited she actually spent ages researching their duties on her own and has sort of lead the charge, so to speak.

They key thing here is that there’s no “must do” list for being in the bridal party. All they really have to do is show up on the day. Everything else is just what you would like them to do.

Post # 4
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would maybe just hint at it during conversation, like maybe say, “I’m so excited for the shower, I know y’all will do a great job planning it!” Idk if that’s rude? I think it can be said in a nice, casual way!

Post # 5
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

They have no duties other than standing next to you at the wedding. And no, you can’t tell them to throw you parties.

Post # 6
Member
8324 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@MissJuicy:  OP is from Australia- showers aren’t the norm here.

As other pp’s have said their only obligation is to stand up next to you at your wedding wearing the right attire. Ask them to things like dress hunting, expos, vendor visits but don’t hold it against them if they choose not to come along and try not to ask in a demanding way.

Basically your wedding is the most important event in your life but it isn’t the most important event in other peoples lives.

Post # 7
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I got asked to be bridesmaid last year and had no idea there was anything to do. She said right from the start we had to pay for dress hair and make up. We didnt know we had to throw a party. Then she pretty much said this is the date I want my party and heres the guest list thanks for organising my party! neither of us have a lot of moneyto throw anything so her sisters did it the other bridemaids and they organised going to a dinner and show that cost $70!

The only thing she asked me to do was dress shopping once..

Post # 8
Member
8697 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@oneofthesethings:  this. I would NEVER hint to anyone to throw me a party. I dont believe that’s something they HAVE to do and especially not both shower and bachelorette. They already have an expense of their outfits and giving their time to be with you.

Post # 10
Member
8324 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@SweetCherryPie:  If they want to be involved and you are okay with that then let them be involved. It is only a problem when they don’t want to be involved and the bride is chucking a tantrum because they wont do this and this and that.

Maybe talk to them and let them know you are excited to include them but only as much as they want to be included and jokingly say that if at anytime they notice you being a bit bridezillish to let you know 🙂

 

Post # 11
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If they want to, or are worried they are forgetting something, they will Google how to be a bridesmaid. I did not do everything correctly myself, but in the package it might seem overwhelming and demanding 

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