Post # 1
I’ve been engaged about a week, but I’m already worried about the bridesmaid situation. I moved abroad a few years ago, which is where I met FI. Most of my high school/college friends don’t know him because they are back in the US. I guess being a bridesmaid is more about their relationship with me, but I’m not sure what to do because my closest friends are the ones back home who don’t know him.
We are getting married where I grew up so it makes the most sense to ask my friends back home to be BMs instead of put my friends here in a tough situation as a lot of them won’t be able to afford to fly to the US for the wedding.
Is it weird to ask them to be BMs without ever having been a part of our relationship? I have no sisters, but I have two close cousins and FI has a sister – maybe I should just ask them and leave friends out of it?
Post # 3
I think you need to pick the people who will best support you on the day of your wedding – which most often, are your lifelong friends. Unfortunately, I don’t have much advice for you.. It would be nice if they knew your FI, but I don’t think that’s a huge requirement. But I guess you also need to factor in whether or not they could even make it to your wedding with travel expenses on top of being a BM.
Post # 4
I would suggest that as BM you put the people who are closest to you, (if thet are able to make it to the wedding). Maybe if you can go out all for dinner prior to the wedding, maybe your fiance and yourself and the wedding party would be great to break the ice and everyone feels comfortable. However you choose make sure that they are committed 🙂
Post # 5
DH met one of my bridesmaids at the time of my shower (she lives about 1000 miles from us) and met the other one for the first time at the rehearsal dinner (she lifes 2000 miles from us). I never even thought about the fact that they never met DH. Everything went perfectly. Pick who you want!
Post # 6
I meet my FI’s best man on the day before the wedding – he lives in AK, we live in NY. It’s all up to who you want to support you, no bearing on where they live of if they’ve met the other half before.
Post # 7
Thanks for all the speedy advice ladies!
Post # 8
Its quite possible that I wont be meeting the best man until the wedding weekend! He lives on the opposite coast and has an incredibly busy job that limits his ability to travel. The one time he was in town, we were unable to meet up with him. Still, i wouldn’t wantthe bf to choose someone else just ebcause they hadn’t met me!
Post # 9
I think it’s OK for the BMs and FI to not really know eachother. These are hopefully the friends who are near and dear to you, so if it feels right to have them stand up w/ you opposed to the family that knows him, then by all means ask your friends! I can sort of see where you’re coming from, but I don’t think not knowing the groom is grounds to leave them out of the wedding party.
Post # 10
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
One of MOHs lives in DC, and the other in NYC. My NYC MOH has met my FI two times, I think? I never even considered “she doesn’t know FI that well, I shouldn’t invite her”- I’ve known her for 20 years, so my relationship with her was what’s important.
Post # 11
Hmm, yah, I don’t think not knowing your FI should be reason not to ask them. It’s about you and your friendships!
Post # 12
Your bridesmaids are for you. Three of my BM’s have only met my FI once and the other is his SIL.
Post # 13
It’s not weird. Maybe you can find a time where your whole wedding party can go out before the wedding so every can get to know each other a little better?