Post # 1
So I decided to do the different BM dress thing. I wanted my girls to be comfy and feel like they look good. Well they are now taking it as “I can just wear whatever I want”. Only problem is I picked out 10 different dresses all in the same style family, but good for different body types. They all picked the one they liked, seemed super excited about them, and were supossed to order them almost 4 months ago! Now they are all calling me and saying they don’t want to wear the dresses they picked out and want to wear different ones. But the dresses they keep showing me are different colors and not at all the style we had ALL agreed on 6 months ago. Now the wedding is 3 months out, and not a single one of my girls has a dress to wear. I am at a loss for what to do. I’m trying to plan this wedding from 2,500 miles away. It’s not like I can fly back home to go shopping with them, but even if I did they still wouldn’t all get together, even if it fit everyones sched! Not a single GM has been difficult or even the grooms sister who is standing up with the boys. I don’t want to be mean and be like you have to buy this dress because you already committed to it 6 months ago, but at the same time I’m ready to tell them all to forget it since none of them even have a dress to wear at this point. Please help bees I’m so lost with them right now. What would you do?
Post # 3
Sounds like you need to start being more blunt.
If you want a specific color and a specific fabric make sure they know it.
I would send a crisp email to all of them listing the exact color and the fabric/style you want along with at least 6-10 choices that would work. Then quote the store’s policy where most of them are available about how long it takes to get them in, and give a clear suggestion that they order soon.
Anybody who’s naked on the wedding day doesn’t get to walk the aisle 🙂
Post # 4
@kala_way: I concur!
Three months is not very long at all, so I’m not sure you will have very many bridal boutique options at this point without rushing the dresses.
Pull the bride card! It’s your wedding, this is what needs to be done if they want to be part of it. If they can’t hack it, they’re not in the wedding. I never understood BMs who give their friend/family a hard time. I thank my lucky stars all mine are rock stars 🙂
Post # 5
Send them all an email saying there seems to be some confusion about the dresses, and they need to order one of these 10 dresses, in this color, by X day. Anyone who doesn’t have their dress on the wedding day won’t walk down the aisle.
I understand wanting to make your BMs happy by being a cool bride, but they’re taking advantage of you. It’s your day, not theirs. You gave them PLENTY of leeway to pick a dress they like. If they can’t suck it up for ONE day to make you happy, there’s a problem. I am so sick of bratty BMs, can you tell?? LOL!
Post # 6
I agree with everyone…put your foot down….it’s your wedding…aggreeing to be in a wedding means buying the dress a bride chooses…with 10 options I think they are being pretty unfair about this….
Post # 7
@seven12: Yeah I can tell, but withgood reason.
And reading these replys so far makes me even more mad at myself for not being more assertive with them from the get go. I wish they were rockstars like @PollyPlanner’s girls. Where did you find yours? haha
Post # 8
I let all my bridemaids pick their own dresses too but i specified that they had to be black (which helped with the matching color thing), floor length and satin or satin with chiffon and everyone was able to pick out something they liked. I had a few slackers who didn’t get their dresses until i went with them and was like…dresses need to be ordered today so lets go to every store and get this done. You obviously cant do that but do you have someone located near the other bridemaids that you trust to handle this on your behalf…like a MOH? or family member. Or you can just say, listen we agreed on dresses, you picked out what you wanted to wear and then I (meaning you) planned according to you guys wearing those dresses so please order them asap. I mean think about it, most brides dont let their BMs pick out their own dresses (like my SIL had me wearing light pink for her wedding…and im so white i looked like the easter bunny..it was horrible and totally wrong for my body type – but thats what she wanted so I shuit my mouth and wore it for her day). So that fact that they had any say at all in their dresses should make them happy.
Post # 9
@noaliaqui: My sister is a MOH and was the first to complain and start sending me pics of dresses she perfers more. I would ask my mom but she is overloaded with work and she coaches a dance team, and is helping out with every other aspect of the wedding that I don’t want to ask her to take on something else. and she soesn’t have the same idea of what I like. My other MOH is to busy with her over controling BF and taking care of his kid working a full time night job and going to school during the day. These girls really are great friends, but probably the worst BM, and I feel like they should want to be willing to give just a little bit more since I’m so far away, but I feel like feeling that way is selfish. Urg! (so sorry for the small rant. I have stressed more over their stuff than over anything else with the wedding)