Bridesmaids…UGHHHH!

posted 3 years ago in May 2014
Post # 3
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@soon2bmrsdam:  It’s frustrating but in the end it’s No Dress? No walk down the aisle. They are welcome to attend as a guest (as long as you are bring reasonable about the dress).

Post # 5
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@soon2bmrsdam:  I agree with PP. You don’t need to come at them at all. If they show up without the dress, tell them to go have a seat. They clearly know by now they need the dress, you don’t need to tell them anything else.

 

I feel for you!

Post # 7
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Oh I don’t blame you! I went through the same bridesmaid drama. Honestly, it STILL makes me mad to think about it. Vent away!!

Post # 9
Member
5017 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@soon2bmrsdam:  I agree. If they dont buy the dress (really the one requirement of a bm) then they don’t get to be a bridesmaid!

Post # 10
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@soon2bmrsdam:  Well, everyone did show up with their dress… Some were attempting to raise the hemlines and iron/steam the major wrinkles out of them (from clearly tossing them in a crumpled ball on the floor for storage), but they did show up with them. So I mean, that part worked out.

A lot of bees will tell you the “no one cares about your wedding as much as you” which I assume you understand. But I truly feel like friends support each other, and it sucks not to feel like your bridesmaids can be bothered, because this is a big deal! Supporting friends for their big events is what friends do!!. In my experience, it was more of a selfish (and maybe younger/immature) friend problem, rather than “just” a BM problem. 

I did ask one BM to step down (but this was pretty early on). We aren’t friends any more, but I honestly shouldn’t have asked her in the first place (well.. She asked to be in the wedding). That situation was a bit more extreme than just not caring. The others were a few friends and cousins, and it really just showed me how much they really cared about me (or not). I wouldn’t say we aren’t friends, but I definitely don’t go above and beyond for them anymore.

Hopefully you have one or two supportive BM’s??

Post # 12
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I had this problem with one bridesmaid. She doesn’t mean any harm shes just very…flighty. I actually bought her dress and shipped it to her. I know she got it altered because our moms are actually very close but I haven’t heard from her now two weeks about about timelines, cost, anything. I know she sees my facebook messages so I am just hoping she checks her email soon. I know she hasn’t in a few days because one of the things I sent lets me know if its been opened. If she shows up (shes flying with her parents and boyfriend) to the rehearsal and has her dress I will be happy. Sometimes you just have to shrug and realize not everyone is as organized or reliable as others but ultimately you just have to let it go and hope they come through. 

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