Post # 1
Ok, this has REALLY been getting on my nerves. EVERY time we get together to try to get some shopping done for the wedding or DIY or expos. A couple of my bridesmaids just KEEP talking about what they are going to do for THEIR wedding. Problem is, they AREN’T EVEN ENGAGED.
I tried to keep it light by saying okay, let’s focus now, we gotta tackle this. BUT they just don’t get it. They go on and on and on and it’s so HARD to get things done for my wedding b/c once we start brainstorming, they go off and what THEY want for thiers. WHAT DO I DO!?!? HELP!!
Post # 3
I don’t know, I think that’s pretty natural for a woman to see wedding related things and start thinking what she might do when it’s her turn. What do you need them to help you do for your wedding that you can’t get done because they’re having what sounds like normal girl talk?
Post # 5
Well, it’s pretty easy to imagine that when you see a lot of options at something like a bridal expo you would think about which one you would choose.
Maybe you are over reacting? They are still helping, right? If they aren’t maybe you can sort of explain it to your maid of honor and have her help keep it about what you want.
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
You don’t need an entourage to shop or do DIY projects. If you aren’t enjoying their company, do those things with your FI or go alone. 🙂
Post # 7
I think you need to take a deep breath and calm down. Maybe just take it as a compliment that they’re really excited about all the ideas that you’re giving them and they’re trying to honor you in some way. If you’re so bothered by it, have you thought about doing the DIYs yourself? Or, try seriously talking to them about it and explain how you feel. Keep in mind, though, they don’t have to be doing this, they are volunteering to help you.
Post # 8
I actaully got extremely pissed off at a bride who told me “who cares, you’re not even engaged!”
I later cried and thought “thanks bitch.”
I mean yeah I’m happy you’re happy and shit but the world need not revolve around your wedding- yes I was dreaming but as PP’s said: it’s common and natural and something that will just happen.
Guess what this same bride does now to me? whenever my wedding comes up it’s “OH GOD- I hate weddings I’m sooo over them” Yeah well as you call tell she’s a real sore spot it was her wedding, only hers and no other wedding is of concern.
What I would have liked: for her to say yeah that’s really nice, and then ask my opinion or for help on picking out something for her wedding. When I say: “I want, or I like, or I would…” she should listen to me just as much as the other way around. You give, and you take.
Post # 9
Enjoy the bonding time and relax. Just plan on extra time for your projects etc.
Post # 10
I agree that it sounds like normal girl talk. As long as your bridesmaids are still doing what you ask of them, I don’t see anything wrong with them carrying on conversations on the side.
Post # 11
Even though it’s fun to have the whole gang with you, that’s alot of opinon’s! Try just taking one or two..that you know can get the job done!
Post # 12
I get what you are saying but it’s a really exciting time for everyone. Before I was engaged I kept doing the same thing to my brothers FI. Her cousin aka other bridemaids acted dumb and said…oh r u like engaged? or something? and looked at my hand. I felt bad and stupid but got the point. My soon to be SIL tried to cover it up and asked questions about my wedding and it made me feel really good. Maybe indulge in their fantasies? Get excited with them and be like..oh I can’t wait til you get engaged and I can help! Then they might come back into focus on you knowing that they will get their chance. Get what I’m saying?
Post # 13
I can understand why you’re frustrated if you’re trying to get stuff done and it’s not getting done, but I wouldn’t get mad at them for this. It’s kinda mean to say that just because they’re not engaged they can’t be thinking about what they would do for their someday wedding.
If you seriously need opinions or work done, and you’re not getting it done with them, don’t do it with them. Just ask, say, one BM (like your MOH) to go shopping with you. If you want an opinion onl and no girl talk, send an email or FB message out. But if you’re all getting together in a group, and “brainstorming” wedding-related ideas, of course they are going to think about what they want to do for their eventual wedding.
Post # 14
Thanks for all your comments, what is hard is going to the expos and I am trying to talk to the vendors about MY wedding and they but in and start asking questions that would pertain to them.
There’s A LOT of DIY in my wedding so yeah I DO need help, seashell bouquets (seashells have to be picked and glued), centerpieces, table runners, and it is so rare and in between that they come over (some haven’t at all yet) that we just can’t seem to focus with certain ones wanting to talk about “their” wedding. A few comments here and there is fine but it’s getting crazy. Like I am trying to talk about what I am thinking of doing for the centerpieces and they just start talking over me like I’m not there. It’s not like a friendly back and forth conversation, it’s like I’m not even the bride.
And vmec, just so you know, I have been in most of these girls weddings and NEVER acted like that, it was ALL about them and it should be. Some of my bridesmaids haven’t even shown up for ANYTHING. I paid for them to go to Say Yes to the Dress with me too by the way. So I am not a “bitch” like your friend is. I am simply wanting the same attention that I gave to them.
Post # 15
Oh yeah and when I say I paid for them to go to SYTTD I paid their food, accomodations, limo ride, everything for the weekend from NC to GA and back and didn’t get one thank you either.
Post # 16
@OBXbrideNC: There’s A LOT of DIY in my wedding so yeah I DO need help
Sorry, but that’s not their problem that you want to do a lot of DIY. That’s your and your Fi’s problem. If you need more help than that you can’t make your friends do it. They can offer. You can accept.