(Closed) Bridesmaidszillas!

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’m sooo sorry for what you are going through!!! I’m going through some of the samethings!! I had a couple of bridesmaids complain about the cost of things, then run out and buy a new I-Phone!!! As far as the hair thing, I’m not sure what your finances look like, but in order to ensure that all of my girls got their hair done where I wanted, I am paying for their hair. This way they are at my mercy!!! HAAA HAA!! As far as the boyfriends….figure out a way for the guys to get together and goto breakfast or play a round of golf or hell, they will probably have hotel rooms…they can hang out there and relax!!!

To be honest, there comes a time you realize it is YOUR day and they need to realize it!! At this point, I’d tell them it’s your way or the highway!!! Good luck!!!

Post # 4
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Honestly, I’m not seeing a huge problem here.  A bachelorette party isn’t a requiremnt.  If you want one, and they aren’t willing to plan one, maybe you can ask if they want to hang out, and do something fun, where everyone just pays for themselves.  (Or you can make it a livelier bridesmaid luncheon..like at night at a bar…)

I’m not sure what the financial situation is with the BM getting married.  But it sounds understandable that she’s in a money crunch right now.  I hear ya that her BM dresses are more expensive than yours, but is it more of a financial strain for her to pay for her wedding?  Are you getting money from family, but she isn’t? 

I don’t see the problem with the BMs wanting to have their hair done at their own salon.  I porbably would too.  Is it possible too that their salon is less expensive?  And if they don’t want ot get up that eraly, as long as they can get to wherever you need them, to help you etc, by the time you need them there,  I just don’t see the problem. 

 

Post # 5
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I am dealing with the hair thing too with FMIL and FSIL. They are going to their own salon, but considering that my stylist is driving down from a whole other town, I am trying to be understanding. I didn’t want to go to a different stylist either. Maybe you can just give them a gift certificate to their salon of choice for that day and tell them to meet you at a certain time when they’re done?

Its not the best way to start your day (without BMs), but it happens, just surround yourself with other people that want to join you that morning, aunts, cousins, other friends, etc!

Post # 6
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think it’s more the fact she feels like her bridesmaids could care less and don’t want to be a part of it. I don’t think it’s so much the issues she’s talking about. I know that it hurts me ALOT that most of my bridesmiads could care less about being here with me or helping me!!!!

Post # 7
Member
278 posts
Helper bee

To you, your wedding is a priority.  To them, it might not be and perhaps that is where the “problem” is.  Of course you’d like your BMs to put a little more effort into making things work for you, especially when you’ve got so many thigns going on and tried to make ends meet for them.  Sorry you’re going through this.  Bottom line, you can’t really force people to do anything they don’t want to.

As for their request to use their own salon,  I think it’s fine as long as they get to the spot on time.  And so they don’t surprise you with any extra expenses, you could offer them a hair allowance of let’s say $50 per person.  If their salon charges them extra, let them pay out of their own pocket.  I think that’s fair enough.  It wouldn’t be fair if you’d have to pay for $150 for one BM and $50 for another.  If they want the freedom to do whatever they want, compromise with them and set some limits.

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