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Bridesmaidzilla???? What to do?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Which Zilla do you have?
    Bridezilla : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Bridesmaidzilla : (15 votes)
    28 %
    MomzillaMotherinlawzilla : (24 votes)
    45 %
    Other kind of Zilla : (13 votes)
    25 %
  •  
    1.
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    josephine1711    October 22, 2010   Hilbert

    Do you have any bridesmaidzillas??? I do I have 1 and kinda a momzilla :( My sister is 30 years old and she is on her 3rd marriage she has never had a proper wedding EVER....and she is all over me about my wedding. What she thinks about my fall wedding ideas..."ya know that was my idea for my wedding if I would ever have one, ya know your really starting to piss me off stealing my ideas"

    About the bridesmaid dress I really like "OH....I guess its ok I think it would look better on a skinnier person not me so I think you should have all different dresses and I should get to pick my own" (I already dont want everyone having different dresses) So, what should I do?

    Do YOU HAVE A BRIDESMAIDZILLA...or any other zilla????

     
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    daydreamwanderer       DC

    My SO is a bit of a groomzilla sometimes, but when I started lightly teasing him about it, he totally held back. He mostly just really wants to be involved and wants everything, without realizing how much money/work some of those things require. Fortunately he listens to reason ;) - overall he's just totally sweet and excited about getting married.

    I think a lot of people who come across as overzealous might just be not knowing how to deal with their varied emotions: excited about the wedding + sad to 'lose' sister/daughter/friend + overwhelmed by details + jealous of attention/love/finances/whatever ... it's a lot to process!

     
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    Miss Yap    02/20/10   Dallas

    No zillas here. I have a pretty strong personality. Seems mom and dad and sister are pickier than me. But they also let me do what I want to. I get into the most (friendly) arguments with my planner. But I got lucky I guess.

     
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    josephine1711    October 22, 2010   Hilbert

    LOL sometimes my sister makes me wanna be a bridezilla LOL

     
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    eholden    June 25, 2011   Corvallis/Milton-Freewater Oregon

    mother-in-lawzilla...she wants to send out 175 invites, not invite 175, send out 175 invitations.  No worries, she is sure only 60 of those people will come...this makes it difficult to sleep at night, and...ummm...we're almost 2 years away from the wedding!  I know I know....i need to get over it!

     
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    josephine1711    October 22, 2010   Hilbert

    @ eholden- NO, NO....If mom is paying for a big chunk and helping out then I think she should be able to invite a few of her close friends, not (*doing math in my head if there are 2 people per invite *) 350 PEOPLE!!! OY VEY!!!! I would ask her respectfully to narrow it down a bit.

     
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    eholden    June 25, 2011   Corvallis/Milton-Freewater Oregon

    Yes, well, um, the plan is to show her a breakdown of per person costs and hope that she understands what a disaster it will be if more than her estimated 60 people come.  We are planning to do about 200 guests for around 10K with a full sit down dinner.  My aunt is a catering mangager, and is doing dinner at cost.  This means we have to rent EVERYTHING!  I'm sure you can understand how quickly rentals add up.  People need chairs to sit in, a plate to eat off of and preferablly some silverware!

    Thankfully, this is not my mother.  My parents are paying for most of the wedding, and we are scrapping away as much as we can. His parents have made it pretty clear that they aren't offering much, which is fine until she tries to invite 350+ people.  But she has offered to pay for the invitations.  If only that was the spendy part! 

    I have accepted that there will be a few struggles in the process, and I'm trying to avoid too many ruffled feathers.  Money has always been a really touchy subject between FI and his parents and they are notoriously unreliable.  However, I will not allow my parents to pick up the tab for 350 of their nearest and dearest.

    In the meantime, I am trying to follow my mom's good advice.  Try not to worry about it yet.  You have time to talk some sense into her before save-the-date go out. (His parents are also not planners, and want nothing to do with the planning as of now)

    OK...so I have officially hijacked your post..Sorry:( 

    That is sooo touchy trying to get all your girls to find a dress that they feel comfortable in.  Maybe she can be in charge of some additional searches for a dress that would make everyone happy.  Maybe if she can't find one she will at least understand your dilema. 

    However, it kinda sounds like she justs wants to rain on your parade.  I'm not so sure she will ever be happy with her dress.  I'll bet my mom would tell me to go with the dress you like, and try not to let her comments get to you!  But I have a really hard time following that advice too, even if I know she's right.

    How about we make a pact to not let our respective zillas ruin our planning fun :)

     
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    josephine1711    October 22, 2010   Hilbert

    HERE HERE!!!!! Lets toast to that!!!!! possibly with some hard liquor! (and no you didnt hijack my post I really do enjoy reading other peoples posts alot)Wink

     
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    futuremrsreed    June 26, 2010   Davis, CA; wedding in Reno, NV

    At the end of the day it is YOUR wedding and your sister/bridesmaid is just going to have to respect that. You might try gently reminding her. She is probably just jealous and trying to work it out by being as involved as possible.

     
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    RecessionistaBride    January 28, 2012  

    lol I think its funny that no one has 'fessed up about being a bridezilla :)

    I'm dealing with another zilla... his name is Mr. RecessionistaBride (aka groomzilla). For so long he's been like "cool, do whatever" and lately he wants to know everything! I think its because money keeps leaving his account, but he doesn't know what he's paying for lol.

     
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    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    no zillas. i actually tried to be, when my sister/moh said she wasn't going to spend the night before the wedding with me and she wanted to stay with her date instead, i knew that would happen and i told my fi i would turn bridezilla on her. instead i chickened out and called my mom, made her tell her in a very nice way that i was hoping for a girls night and wanted her to be there with me. maybe i'm a passive agressive bridezilla.

     
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    Busy bee
    gingerkid4god    June 12, 2010   West Virginia

    Yes I have bridemaidzillas's. I also have a drunkzilla and a gayzilla.

     
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    Blushing bee
    jbbaby    March 12, 2010   San Diego

    All of the above including groomzilla

     
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    Honey bee
    hotchildinthecity    June 12, 2010   New York, NY

    I have a momzilla.  I have been fighting with her nonstop since Friday.  Over the rehearsal dinner.  Once we get this resolved it will be something else.  I want to elope ;o)

     
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    teaadntoast    04/23/2010   New York, NY

    Ajbbaby - That is a lot of zilla for one wedding!

     
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    spaniel    March 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    I have a momzilla!

     
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    zippylef    October 30, 2010   Norfolk, UK

    I have a bit of a momzilla. She's not terrible though, yet. She tried to pull the "I will invite as many people as I want" bit, but I stopped that in its tracks. We just have completely different tastes ad we are clashing.

     
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    josephine1711    October 22, 2010   Hilbert

    LOL all I really want to do is make everyone happy Smile Unfortunatly it is somewhat backfiring on me with my sis. I dont want to be a Bridezilla but boy does she make me want to turn into one LOL!!!!!

     
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    Erisque    November 1, 2009   Baltimore, Maryland

    I had a crazy Bridesmaidzilla and I am still mad about it, five months after our wedding! It completely ruined our friendship.

     
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    jadeblue    July 31, 2010   Western Massachusetts

    I have maidofhonorzilla, auntzilla, and futuremotherinlawzilla (well, more hopelessly clueless on the last one). Sometimes I even have a groomzilla, which isn't much fun, and I'm worried about futurestepdaughterzilla as well (she doesn't do well with not being center of attention for 5 minutes). I don't have a momzilla, luckily, but she is such a spaz about the wedding that I need to shield FI from her crazy enthusiasm as it stresses him out. Isn't it great how weddings bring out the 'best' in everyone? I like to think of myself as the anti-zilla, but I'm sure I've got a meltdown or two in me, just waiting to happen.

     
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    Miss Cheeky    May 8, 2010   South Jersey

    To me your sister doesn't really sound like she is being a bridesmaidzilla YET. I mean, maybe she is blowing things out of porportion but think of it from her perspective, she is insecure at the fact that she hasn't had the wedding she wanted. I don't think you should make excuses for her at all or baby her, but maybe just see that if she is being nasty there might be some emotional issues behind that. Maybe you could just sit down with her and say that you aren't trying to steal her ideas, and that if being in the wedding is going to upset her then maybe she should rethink it. Maybe it's just too much emotionally for her to handle and she is just lashing out at you to deal with it.

     
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    HisButtercup    August 13, 2011  

    @ jadeblue OMG, I thought I was the only one concerned about having a futurestepdaughterzilla...  Everyone I've talked to that's a step- or futurestep-mom has told me that right before the wedding things can get touchy.  And mine likes attention too, so we'll see how that goes.

    I for sure have a groomzilla on my hands!  I love him, but he can be demanding, lol!

     
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    Ranaki13    July 10, 2010   New England/Greece

    Ok...I totally I totally have a momzilla! That's hilarious! I thought my family was the only one that used that term, I guess not!

     

    And I have to admit-I am a closet bridesmaidzilla.  I HATE the color and dress my friend picked for us to wear but I've never told her, any of the other bridesmaids, or anyone else for that matter.  Except for all of you, that is.  I love her so much, I'd wear a garbage bag if she asked me too but I still think it would have been nice if she had asked our input.

     
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    mrsgtobee    October 20, 2010   United Kingdom

    Lol I have all kinds of Zilla, but maybe it's cos I'm a bridezilla?  I don't know!  Some of you might be familiar with my bridesmaid from hell who's making me a bridezilla!

    Good luck to everyone with dealing with the Zilla'ness in their planning!

     
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    msoligator    June 4, 2010   Rochester, NY

    @eholden - I have the same problem! My in-laws keep refering to our wedding as the family reunion and want to invite second, third cousins my FI has never met! FMIL keeps telling me she wants to help with my "princess wedding", and not understandings I want a "small, intimate" wedding. They are driving us both crazy!


     
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    jadeblue    July 31, 2010   Western Massachusetts

    @ HisButtercup: Ut-oh. My condolences! Feel free to commiserate if it gets tricky for you with FSD-zilla.

     
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    FutureMrs.Taylor    June 12, 2010   Shawnee, KS

    Yes! Yes!

     
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    Habibah14    October 24, 2010   Fairfield County, Connecticut

    I am MOH to one of my BFFs and her mom is a motherofthebridezilla!

    SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS TO WORK WITH!!!!!! Can't wait till the shower is over! I feel so bad for my bff cause her mom is ruining her planning-- she can't wait for it to be over so she can be done dealing with her mom and I feel so sad for her cause I am having such a blast and she is hating it!

     
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    HisButtercup    August 13, 2011  

    @jadeblue, thanks for the offer!  I'll prob take you up on that! :-)

     
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    Blushing bee
    jyam    2010   Los Angeles, CA

    I have none of the above, but I thought this was funny:

    Bridesmaidzilla???? What to do? :  wedding Bridezilla

     
    31.
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    sbbridebythesea    October 9, 2010   Santa Barbara, CA

    I'm lucky.  My groom is easy.  My MOH is easy.  I don't have any other bridesmaids.  My sister is borderline and obsessing about anything related to HER and HER family, like the shade of ivory of the flower for my niece's hair!  Really, it doesn't have to be DYED TO MATCH! (especially since I didn't want anything matchy matchy).  My mom is the anti-momzilla.  She has no interest in planning, which is both a blessing and a bit disappointing.  Undecided  Wow, I didn't think I had anything to complain about, but that was therapeutic.  Thanks Bees!

     
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    Habibah14    October 24, 2010   Fairfield County, Connecticut

    anyone else notice that no one said they were a bridezilla on the poll??? hahaha

     
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    Twista    October 2, 2010   Roanoke, VA

    My momzilla insists that wehave a violin (we won't), that I walk down the aisleto Here Comes the Bride (I won't), that we have a traditional cake (we won't), that we don't have haybails for our rustic, backyard wedding (we will), and that I not wear my glasses (I will).  She hasn't been to a wedding since the '80s so she just doesn't quite get it.

     
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    Toffee    January 15, 2011   Hayden, Id

    Well, I'll admit to being a bit of a zilla when it comes to some things like how my parents need to act and no alcohol. I also managed to convince my FI that we should go with a big seafood bake haha!

     

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