Post # 1
so I’m in my friends wedding and its been drama after drama with her . the latest is I Just paid for my dress last week and the weekend before that bougt her a bridal shower gift. now she messages me sunday saying she wants to go get our shoes saturday . well i couldnt because one I dont have money right now and 2 my nieces birthday is saturday .so i texted her telling her that i didnt have money this week and my neices birthday was saturday but if she finds a shoe let me know ill get in a week or 2 ( HER WEDDING IS MAY 15TH) so then she texts me we have to have our shoes to do alterations . so how long does it take to do alterations ( her aunts doing them ) she said i dont know theres alot so its gonna take her a while. I said ok but we talked about leaving my till last because I’ve been losing weight and didnt want to get alterations done and then not fit the day of her wedding. ( ive been losing weight pretty fast i order my dress and its already 2 sizes too big and im still losing weight and inches weekly.) so she texted me back and idk whatever . so i texted her ok what is that suppose to mean? she didnt say anything so i texted her again saying so your mad I cant gte my shoes this weekend? she didnt answer . so then she was talking in a group message on facebook to all the bridesmaid telling her sister to call so i messaged and said call me if you want . she still didnt answer so then i said so your ignoring me . still didnt answer me so i tried calling her. she didnt answer so i sent her a text saying ok so i texted called and messaged you on facebook . still no reply so the next day she tried calling me twice and i didnt answer because at this point my feeling are really hurt and mad she couldnt text or call me and talk about it. so then she messages me today i tried calling you twice so idk …really i tried getting a hold of you and you ignored me but know im suppose to answer when you call me ?? I m really upset and dont know if i should even be in this wedding anymore or what i should even say to her. she is hard headed and i know she isnt going to say sorry.
Post # 3
She is a Bridezilla… i never know what to think when I read these things. I feel that the way I am with my BM is how everyone should be… more or less it suprises me how ppl arent. I chose my BM cuz they are my friends and I want them to be a part of my day. I hate that they have to spend money on me (dresses, shower, bach. party). I didnt even want them to but they said they wanted to, which of course made me happy.
I had them help chose their dress and let them take their time to order it. One was actually taking awhile which worried me and I texted her saying I knew she was busy but to get them in time for alterations we needed to do it soon. She was dealing with work stuff and ended up ordering it but I had offered to order and pay for it so she wouldnt have to worry about it. I also said they could wear whatever shoes they wanted and chose a color that most ppl would own.
It surprises me hearing about brides treating their friends so poorly even if they are stressed. In the end I wouldnt care what my girls wore, I just want them up there with me.
PS. she needs to apologize and someone needs to tell her she is being ridic
Post # 4
First, she’s being petty annoying. But you kind of are too. Quit giving each other the silent treatment and just be good friends. She should definitely be understanding if you have prior commitments and can’t get your shoes this weekend. But don’t let her childish “whatever” text get under your skin so you’re bombarding her with messages and then ignoring her when she finally cools off and comes around. None of this is worth getting upset over. So take a deep. Roll your eyes at her craziness, and just move on.
Post # 5
@jennmc85: Well, neither one of you is better than the other for ignoring each other’s phone calls. Geesh. That’s a high school level game to play. I can see why she’d want you to have shoes for alterations, but you have a perfectly legitimate excuse for missing that day, and her response was less than stellar regarding that. She definitely could have handled that better as well as give you a timeframe on how long it will take her aunt to do alterations because just because her wedding isn’t until May doesn’t mean that her aunt won’t take that long.
I think you both need to take a step back, put your attitudes and behavior in check, and go forward. Not worth stepping out of the wedding for and possibly ruining a friendship IMO.
Post # 6
If she needs you to buy the shoes so badly, then she should buy them for you until you can afford them.
If your not in her wedding it will cause an even bigger argument so prepare yourself if that’s an option of yours. I only say this because of previous experience. I dropped out of a wedding but because the bride cheated on her FI during the bachelorette party. Take a breather and give her her space but she’s a diva if she’s demanding you buy something when you can’t afford it then you need to have a serious talk with her.
Post # 7
Can I ask how old you are? This seems like a ridiculous fight. Just tell her you can’t get the shoes this weekend, and will happily get what they pick out in a few weeks. Stop ignoring each other and playing phone tag and pretending now to see text messages. It’s childish, on both of your parts.
Also, your post is really hard to read with all the “she said then I said” stuff.
Post # 8
This chick sounds like a dumb asshole.
Post # 9
I get why you’re annoyed with her, I do.
However, you not answering her calls because you were annoyed was a pretty silly thing to do. You did exactly what she did, and that just allowed the problem to continue. Come on, you know better than that. You know that doesn’t help you or anyone else.
I don’t have any other advice than this: don’t play the silent treatment and tit-for-tat right when you’re in the middle of trying to solve a problem. It only leads to more miscommunication, confusion, drama, and wasted time.
Post # 10
OK – YOU get annoyed because she won’t reply to you. SHE calls YOU and you decide to ignore the calls? Is that some kind of neener neener neener?
You are both being a bit ridiculous here. I get that she needs to slow her roll and consider everyone else’s budget – I really do. But you guys need to quit the texting back and forth like that and pick up the phone when things get testy.
Post # 11
Sorry I was writing that from my phone and I was really upset so it came out as a ramble lol. I agree it was childish to ignore her calls but I was really upset that she ignorned me like that . I feel that she shouldn’t be getting mad about a pair of shoes . I’m a stay at home mom of 3 . MY fiance makes pretty good money but between paying for a dress and giving her a bridal shower gift and 2 of her kids birthdays all in one month I’m running low on fUnds this week and just wanted 2 more weeks to get them I feel like I wasn’t being outline for saying I could’nt get them this week. But I know ignoring her calls was childish so I texted her yesturday saying I’m sorry for ignoring your calls I was just really hurt by all of this. that she should have just talked to me instead of ignoring me. So her response was : in the heat of the moment i thought it would be best not to talk to you for a minute then when I felt ready to talk you had to get me back.
so I told her well I was hurt you ignored me so ignored you back .
she said : thats my point I needed time u just did it because you wanted to try and get me back
the last text I sent her was : So I don’t understand you just want to contuine to go back and forth about whos wrong here or what I said I was wrong for ignoring you but I was very hurt by how you ignored me .
by the way this is a friend of 14 years and this is not the only drama she has had planning her wedding she has everyone scared and kissing her ass.It was childish to ignore her but I DONT want her to think she can walk all over me . as a side note I’M getting married in september but I havent started anything due to money the only thing we have paid for is our place but shes supoose to be a bridesmaid . I was going to have her be my maid of honor but after she didn’t even ask me to go with her to try on her dress and it took her 3 weeks to ask me to be in her wedding because she didn’t know if there were going to be enough guys and she has 3 sisters . Then she had a engagment party and wanted us all to pay for her forune teller she was having at it . Then she got mad at me at the dress store and yell at me in front of everyone because I was upset because I tried on a size 18 it fit THEN I tried on a 16 it was just a inch from zipping up I wanted to order the 16 because anything over a 16 is an extra $20 ( AS a side note I’d been doing intense training and dieting had already lost 25 lbs ) so I knew I would be able to loss the little bit to fit in the 16 I got upset and started crying because It was still emotionally hard for me to try on dresses . and so she yelled at me in front of everyone saying do what ever you want but if you can’t fit in the dress thats your problem. so I just ordered the 18 . now we have our dresses and my dress is 2 sizes too big and Im still lossing weight and inches by the week . so I ask her to find out from her aunt how long it will take her to do alterations so I can have my done last so it will fit for the wedding. AND shes mad about that she wants me to get alterations done in 2 weeks . this whole thing has been so stressful. she hasnt even said anything nice to me about lossing weight . sorry for my long rant
Post # 12
so now she called me and said I dont even know what to say . So I SAID I’m sorry for ignoring your calls I was just hurt and didn’t understand why you were so mad about shoes. she said its not about shoes it’s I didnt make an effort to be there to try on the shoes . I said I can’t take 3 kids to the mall and I would have to get a babysitter which I don’t have because both of our parents are working this weekend . I said I’m not gonna pay for a babysitter when I can’t even afford the shoes right now. so she said well I asked you in the begining if you could afford everything your gonna need for my wedding. How was i suppose to perdict that I wouldn’t have money for shoes when she asked making my house payment is more important then shoes . I said that this is suppose to be fun and shes made it miserable . she said she hasn’t asked for nothing except what is excpted when standing up in a wedding. So we went back and forth about how I Felt I’ve been treated and she never once appoligized . so she said her aunts doing all the alterations for free and wants to have everyone pinned up next weekend which I said you couldn’t ask If she waits to do mine I’m just one person . I don’t want to do my alterations then the dress not fit me in 10 weeks. She said it will fit not to worry because apperatly she hasn’t noticed I’ve lost alot of weight (45lbs so far) So I Asked what do you want me to do she said I dont know . I said it seems like you dont want me in the wedding . she said I didnt say that but if its miserable . So she said get the shoes whenever but I WILL HAVE to figure out my own alterations because she can’t talk to her aunt about me. so i said well just let me know about the shoes then .
Post # 14
@jennmc85: you might hate me for saying this, but you wanted opinions, so here goes…
I dont think she sounds like a bridezilla. I think she sounds like a bride who is stressed out, trying to do too much, and receiving nothing but excuses and pushback every way she turns. You sound insecure and self-concious, and you agreed to be her bridesmaid so you should do your part! Get your dress altered, buy the damn shoes, and be a good bridesmaid! Seriously, most people save out of each check to afford a car payment, rent payment, whatever, and buy whatever they need out of the extra, right? So what’s wrong with spending a little bit of your bill money to get what you need for an obligation you willingly agreed to, then making up for it out of your spare money? I dont even make that much and i can do it no problem. You think it was easy for me to buy my MOH’s dress for her? Or to buy six pairs of shoes? No, it wasnt, but i agreed to it so i upheld my end of the deal.
I think you both sound childish and immature about the whole thing, and you need to sit down and get it worked out before it turns into resentment and someday, retaliation.
Again, you may hate me for my opinion, but its my two cents, take it or leave it.
Post # 15
@MrsWinTraining2014: thank you for you 2 cents lol
Post # 16
First off, this is crazy on all sides. I guess potential bridesmaids need to be incredibly candid about their financial situations before agreeing to stand up?
Maybe you could borrow the proper shoes from one of the other bridesmaids just to get the heel height for the alterations? Then you’d buy yourself some time till payday to get your shoes.
@MrsWinTraining2014: I think that if OP had “spare money” she wouldn’t have posted. Also – try not to make it a habit to count other people’s money (“I dont even make that much and i can do it no problem.” although then you do immediately contridict yourself “You think it was easy for me to buy my MOH’s dress for her? Or to buy six pairs of shoes? No, it wasnt” So, no problem or it wasn’t easy?)