bridezilla

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

OY!!

She is a Bridezilla… i never know what to think when I read these things.  I feel that the way I am with my BM is how everyone should be… more or less it suprises me how ppl arent.  I chose my BM cuz they are my friends and I want them to be a part of my day.  I hate that they have to spend money on me (dresses, shower, bach. party).  I didnt even want them to but they said they wanted to, which of course made me happy. 

I had them help chose their dress and let them take their time to order it.  One was actually taking awhile which worried me and I texted her saying I knew she was busy but to get them in time for alterations we needed to do it soon.  She was dealing with work stuff and ended up ordering it but I had offered to order and pay for it so she wouldnt have to worry about it.  I also said they could wear whatever shoes they wanted and chose a color that most ppl would own.

It surprises me hearing about brides treating their friends so poorly even if they are stressed.  In the end I wouldnt care what my girls wore, I just want them up there with me.

 

PS. she needs to apologize and someone needs to tell her she is being ridic

Post # 4
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

First, she’s being petty annoying. But you kind of are too. Quit giving each other the silent treatment and just be good friends. She should definitely be understanding if you have prior commitments and can’t get your shoes this weekend. But don’t let her childish “whatever” text get under your skin so you’re bombarding her with messages and then ignoring her when she finally cools off and comes around. None of this is worth getting upset over. So take a deep. Roll your eyes at her craziness, and just move on. 

Post # 5
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@jennmc85:  Well, neither one of you is better than the other for ignoring each other’s phone calls. Geesh. That’s a high school level game to play. I can see why she’d want you to have shoes for alterations, but you have a perfectly legitimate excuse for missing that day, and her response was less than stellar regarding that. She definitely could have handled that better as well as give you a timeframe on how long it will take her aunt to do alterations because just because her wedding isn’t until May doesn’t mean that her aunt won’t take that long.

I think you both need to take a step back, put your attitudes and behavior in check, and go forward. Not worth stepping out of the wedding for and possibly ruining a friendship IMO.

Post # 6
Member
239 posts
Helper bee

If she needs you to buy the shoes so badly, then she should buy them for you until you can afford them.

If your not in her wedding it will cause an even bigger argument so prepare yourself if that’s an option of yours. I only say this because of previous experience. I dropped out of a wedding but because the bride cheated on her FI during the bachelorette party. Take a breather and give her her space but she’s a diva if she’s demanding you buy something when you can’t afford it then you need to have a serious talk with her.

Post # 7
Member
11712 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Can I ask how old you are?  This seems like a ridiculous fight.  Just tell her you can’t get the shoes this weekend, and will happily get what they pick out in a few weeks.  Stop ignoring each other and playing phone tag and pretending now to see text messages.  It’s childish, on both of your parts.

Also, your post is really hard to read with all the “she said then I said” stuff.

Post # 8
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

This chick sounds like a dumb asshole. 

Post # 9
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

I get why you’re annoyed with her, I do. 

However, you not answering her calls because you were annoyed was a pretty silly thing to do. You did exactly what she did, and that just allowed the problem to continue. Come on, you know better than that. You know that doesn’t help you or anyone else. 

I don’t have any other advice than this: don’t play the silent treatment and tit-for-tat right when you’re in the middle of trying to solve a problem. It only leads to more miscommunication, confusion, drama, and wasted time. 

Post # 10
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

OK – YOU get annoyed because she won’t reply to you.  SHE calls YOU and you decide to ignore the calls?  Is that some kind of neener neener neener?

You are both being a bit ridiculous here.  I get that she needs to slow her roll and consider everyone else’s budget – I really do.  But you guys need to quit the texting back and forth like that and pick up the phone when things get testy.  

Post # 14
Member
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@jennmc85:  you might hate me for saying this, but you wanted opinions, so here goes…

I dont think she sounds like a bridezilla. I think she sounds like a bride who is stressed out, trying to do too much, and receiving nothing but excuses and pushback every way she turns. You sound insecure and self-concious, and you agreed to be her bridesmaid so you should do your part! Get your dress altered, buy the damn shoes, and be a good bridesmaid! Seriously, most people save out of each check to afford a car payment, rent payment, whatever, and buy whatever they need out of the extra, right? So what’s wrong with spending a little bit of your bill money to get what you need for an obligation you willingly agreed to, then making up for it out of your spare money? I dont even make that much and i can do it no problem. You think it was easy for me to buy my MOH’s dress for her? Or to buy six pairs of shoes? No, it wasnt, but i agreed to it so i upheld my end of the deal.

I think you both sound childish and immature about the whole thing, and you need to sit down and get it worked out before it turns into resentment and someday, retaliation.

Again, you may hate me for my opinion, but its my two cents, take it or leave it.

Post # 16
Member
26 posts
Newbee

First off, this is crazy on all sides. I guess potential bridesmaids need to be incredibly candid about their financial situations before agreeing to stand up? 

Maybe you could borrow the proper shoes from one of the other bridesmaids just to get the heel height for the alterations? Then you’d buy yourself some time till payday to get your shoes. 

 

@MrsWinTraining2014:  I think that if OP had “spare money” she wouldn’t have posted. Also – try not to make it a habit to count other people’s money (“I dont even make that much and i can do it no problem.” although then you do immediately contridict yourself  “You think it was easy for me to buy my MOH’s dress for her? Or to buy six pairs of shoes? No, it wasnt” So, no problem or it wasn’t easy?)

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