Post # 1
i think i’m having my first bridezilla moment/meltdown. i’m trying to tell myself its not a big deal and to let it go.. so any input or opinions (phrased nicely please) are welcome!
my groom has two men – one best man, and one groomsman. his best man is his brother. FI and his brother are planning to go look at tuxes together over the winter holiday and pick it out, alone (aka, without me). the other groomsman is geographically very far, so they were juts going to send him the item numbers afterwards. we have the bridesmaids dresses, so they were going to take it along to color match and everything.
after talking to some former brides, i’m getting increasingly upset that i’m not allowed to go with them. i’m worried its not going to match well, that it won’t go with my dress or something, and that most brides go and i’m not “allowed” to since its man time.
so… did you go with your groom? is it a big deal that i won’t be going with them?
help talk me down!
Post # 3
@sugarcube: My husband and I selected the tuxes for him and the Groomsmen together.
Could you ask to see and be on board with their selections before they order them just to make sure everything matches?
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@sugarcube: I did go with my DH…. but he’s pretty helpless. Honestly I don’t know that it’s POSSIBLE for a tux to not match a dress. Why don’t you just tell FI you understand it’s boy wedding prep time but kindly ask that he texts you a pic of the suit they’re considering before making the purchase.
Post # 5
I went with my FI but only because we were out and the Men’s Wearhouse was next to the David’s Bridal and he was with me when I bought my shoes. I literally only gave feedback, “Yes, my girls are in Apple and we want the vests to match.” (He wanted them to match anyway…he’s not totally incompetent). I let FI pick the style tux, the vest, the pattern, the tie, all of that. He actually ended up getting a silver vest for himself and Apple for the groomsmen. 🙂 It will look swanky.
If you are in a similar situation with DB/MW, the colors coordinate and match. The people working there are familiar with the colors. Apple at DB is Apple at MW. So it doesn’t matter. If they’re taking a dress with them, I would assume that the people working at the store aren’t colorblind or idiotic about their products and what will/won’t look good with them.
Let them go, have them take pictures, and see if it all matches, and if you hate it, go back and pick something together.
But I wouldn’t worry about it.
Post # 6
My FI’s brother is getting married next year too, and they just went to pick out suits – just the men. The guys picked out a suit and tie style, etc, and then later, he went back with his FI to pick out the exact tie colors from a selection. Maybe you could go that route? They did a super great job on their own!
Post # 7
I dunno. Does he get to come with you to pick out your dress? Honestly, I’d be happy that he’s taking such an interest. And impressed that he is being so thoughtful as to take the bridesmaid dress color with him and take that into account. So I’d just let him handle this decision. I actually think it could be kind of nice to get to see him in his outfit for the first time at the wedding! Just like he’ll be excited to see your dress!
EDIT: Let him know if there is something particular that you really dislike
Post # 8
I did not go with DH to select anything. He’s a grown up… plus his mother would have rung his neck if he ended up with something ridiculous!
Post # 9
@JenGirl: For the record, i’m “forcing” them to take the bridesmaid dress with them, so they can color match 🙂 It wasn’t his idea! haha
Post # 11
@sugarcube: don’t worry about it – unless your FH is likely to pick white tuxes with tophats and tails (i’m assuming that’s not the look you’re going for) it’ll probably be fine. The tux places deal with this A LOT, it’s what they do. They know what’s popular and I’m sure they’ll talk your FH out of a bad decision (if he was going to make one). If he’s brining the BM dresses (or pictures) I’m sure the store will keep him on track 🙂
Post # 12
@sugarcube: while I did go its only because I wad already out and about and he came and met me. He had total control of the outfits and I didn’t do anything so there was no reason for me to really be there. I think if he didn’t come to your dress shopping you shouldn’t go to his tux shopping. Also I am sure they are capable of matching just fine and if its not exact no one will be swatch comparing at the wedding, but the people at the tux place do this ALL THE TIME so even if your FI is unsure they will know! Breathe! Its not a big deal!
Post # 13
Suits and tuxes are pretty straight forward, there is nothing about them that wouldn’t “go” with your wedding dress. What do they need to match to the bridesmaids? Tie and/or vest? I’m sure the people working there will be able to help them pick out the right colour.
Post # 14
@icanhearyousmile: It is a david’s dress! But I didn’t know that they were affiliated until recently, and had already asked the groomsmen to buy their ties back when the maids bought their dresses. So now i feel like they have to use the tie they already paid for since I feel bad… but it is probably not the same shade of green as the MW one. so now the MW vest won’t match … ugh!
Post # 15
DH and the groomsmen were wearing kilts and full scottish dress, so I really wasn’t in this situation. But, DH picked a gorgeous kilt (I like one of his family tartans much better than the other) and he came up with the idea to get almost but not quite matching ones for the groomsmen. He did great, it looked amazing!
Post # 16
My FI used to be a manager at a tux shop, so he will go with his friends and probably without me. I finally got him to consider doing charcoal gray tuxes, and he has good taste so i’m not really worried buuuuuut…we the deal is i don’t have to go, but I do get an opinion before anything is ordered lol