- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
especially if the dresses are long, it seems a bit much to require the purchase of a specific pair of $65 shoes, unless, of course, you're offering to pay for them.
to help nudge your BMs in the right direction, you can include the link to the shoes you found, perhaps with a few other options at other price points to inspire their search. with long dresses, the shoes won't show up in most photos and you'll likely be so wrapped up in the wonderfulness of your day to worry if one or two show up in terrible shoes. 
I would suggest buying them the shoes if you can afford to. $65 isn't a tremendous amount to spend on shoes, but if they're wearing long dresses it seems a little unfair to ask them to shell out for shoes that no one will even see. Plus, really, how much attention are people going to be paying to them? It really is kind of all about the bride
If the dresses are long, I wouldn't worry about the shoes. My girls are wearing tea-length dresses and I just requested that they wear silver shoes of their choosing. After looking at countless wedding photos online and in magazines, I realized that I never notice the bridesmaid's shoes unless I'm specifically looking for them, so I think they are the last thing your guests will notice.
If you're still concerned about certain maids, maybe send them a photo of the shoes you like, and just say you realize these are expensive so you don't expect everyone to get them, but this is the overall look that you think would look great if they see anything comparable. I think that's leaving it open for them to choose what they can afford while presenting them with an option that you like.
For some reason I read the title of your post as "Bridezilla picks $65 M shoes" and thought this post was going to be about $65,000,000 shoes! So by the time I figured out that you were asking about $65 shoes (duh! my brain is obviously not working very well), my reaction was $65 is nothing! How's that for framing I guess it'll depend on what your BMs budgets are like and how much their dresses cost.
Bridezilla-ish? No...anal? A little. I agree with Cupcake. Silver and strappy is plenty of direction. And what's wrong with them pulling something out of the back of the closet? I know I haven't worn silver strappy shoes since high school and I don't plan on doing it anytime soon.
photographer.jpg (45.7 KB, 58 downloads) 2 years old 
i vote for giving them a break on having to buy $65 shoes that you want. if you really want them, i would purchase the shoes for them or at least offer to pitch in half ($35 is reasonable). but you can always say, "i would really love it if you all can get these shoes but i know it may not be in everyone's budgets, so im also ok with silver and strappy." if they can afford it, they will happily buy it to wear on your day. however, if they can't, it will give them an out. if you have already discussed getting shoes already, perhaps ask them for their budget ahead of time and you can stick to their budget. if they say up to $50, then you can just pay the overage (~$15 each). that might work out, and your bridesmaids will still feel that you were inconsiderate enough to check with them first. it really depends on what expenses they have already. if they are all local and do not need to purchase airfare, hotel or have an expensive bachelorette party at plan (vegas, etc), then $65 isn't too bad in the scheme of things. however, if their dresses were pricey, and they have hair/makeup etc to pay for, i would work with them on the shoes. if you really really want them for pictures etc, i would offer to pay part of it. they are supposed to be your best family and friends, so hopefully paying a portion of it wont be a big deal.
$65 is a lot to spend on silver sandals, which many people won't wear again. I like the idea of sending a photo of them and suggesting they get something like it.
Have you considered making the shoes their bridesmaid gift? My sister-in-law let each of her maids design Steve Madden shoes in a specified color, and she purchased them as their gift.
Not sure how helpful this is, but two of the weddings I'm in require silver shoes. My sister wants the girls in similar shoes, my friend just wants silver. So my sister and I selected these http://www.dyeableshoestore.com/dyeable-shoe-store/sandals/riviera-colors-3--heel.asp
They also come in different heel heights. $47 isn't something I wouldn't spend on shoes anyway, and I think they're really hot. I might end up wearing them again.
Either way, I think it depends on how much your girls usually spend on their shoes. Some of us girls are known to spend lots of money on shoes and wear them once for one reason or another. It would definitely be helpful for you to pitch in half. $35 shoes seems like no big deal compared to $65. I would expect your girls to go for the shoes if you're paying half and then you get them in the shoes you want. Win-Win.
I bought this shoe in black for another wedding; it was super comfortable all day/night and worked well with my long dress:
I know I originally said I thought $65 was a lot, but now that I'm doing a search for "strappy silver," i'm having a hard time finding anything for much less than that. Maybe you could send them to a place like DSW or Off Broadway that sells designer shoes for discount prices?
Which shoes do you like; could you link to them? Maybe we could help you come up with an alternative...
Unless you are willing to pay for the shoes I would not ask your bridesmaids to buy the shoes.
To be honest who is really going to notice their shoes - besides you. If you want a specific shoe, you should buy said specific shoe. I would also advise against using this as your bridesmaid gift. Buying something that the girls don't really want or need is not much of a gift to them.
If you are against purchasing them yourself, you may want to send around an e-mail showing them the shoes you like and getting their opinion. Or perhaps suggest they get something similar.
If the dresses are long and will cover the shoes I wouldn't bring up the subject at all. By requesting a color and style you are asking enough.
good luck.
Not bridezilla, but maybe asking for a bit much? While $65 is not a lot for a pair of shoes, it is a lot if they don't want them/won't wear them again. If you have a long dress,I would just send out the suggestion and let it go. In the scheme of everything going on for you wedding, the shoes being worn under a long dress probably aren't worth making your BMs feel resentful....
If you really care, you should buy them. But i wouldn't make it their present as a present as it is really for you and not for them.
$65 is a lot to spend on silver shoes; especially if they had to pay for their own dresses, hair/makeup....how about these ones below? They are less than $30...
http://www.windsorstore.com/shop_detail.aspx?id=44319
I concur with most of the posts above- especially since the dresses are long and there won't be many opportunities for others to even see the shoes the ladies are wearing, I wouldn't ask your bridal party to spend another $65 on a pair of heels. If you could stick to under $30, I think that's more reasonable, but again, not really necessary. Something like these perhaps:
http://www.windsorstore.com/shop_detail.aspx?id=44319
The gold ones are only $10! Black ones are $15!
These are $27 and have free shipping & returns:
And I highly recommend checking out cutesyshoes.com for some low-cost options. They have a ton of silver heels- but some of them have limited sizes.
Silver strappy shoes $19 - really nice quality.
http://www.bluetuxshoes.com/store/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=3&products_id=13
I have a wide foot and a high arch, so I've always had trouble finding shoes. Are you certain that the shoes you picked would even fit all of your BMs? You can't really expect them to cram their foot into something and be in pain all day long.
Aside from the fact that they may not be comfortable for all the BMs, I think $65 is a lot for shoes.
Total honesty: If I was your BM and you asked/insisted/required me to buy $65 shoes I would have a hard time keeping happy/loving thoughts on your big day (especially if the shoes were uncomfortable while I stood next to you in pictures).
You said yourself that the dresses are long so it won't matter a ton- so why risk putting-off your BMs. Let them wear the silver strappy shoes of their choosing and keep them happier!
dress3.jpg (6.9 KB, 51 downloads) 2 years old dress2.jpg (7.3 KB, 44 downloads) 2 years old dress1.jpg (6.5 KB, 48 downloads) 2 years old
I would have to say, if I was one of you BM's I would put up a fuss because since no one will really see them and they will be kicked off at the reception and replaced with flip flops - they are a bit over the top price wise.
Price is relative...I'd spend $600 on shoes but be offended if you asked me to pay $50 to have my hair done. I'm not saying that's normal (or sane) but it's me.
The real point I'm trying to make is that everyone is different, and I'd try to leave this one up to your bridesmaids. I do, however think it's fine to send out an email with a few pairs (one for $25, $50, $65, etc.) that you like and think are appropriate. Those who need guidance will take it as that and anyone who has a pair already will prob. feel comfortable enough to wear them.
And nobody will look at a bridesmaids shoes and see it as a reflection of your taste. They might even praise you for being so laid back!
Can we see the shoes that you fell in love with? Maybe we can help you find pretty much identical ones for cheaper.
Not to got through the hash of my financial woes subject again, though it's kind of familiar....I agree with smkarl, if you want your bms to wear specific shoes, either gift them to them or help pay for some of it.
davids_dress_copy.jpg (92.3 KB, 51 downloads) 2 years old 
I've been a bridesmaid plenty of times and I've always paid for my own shoes. $65.00 is not unreasonable, especially if they are shoes that can be worn again. I told my bm's to buy "strappy silver sandals with no "bling" or designs, and a heel between 1-3 inches." One paid $20.00 for shoes from Target, but the other three all paid over $75.00 theirs. They wanted to wear shoes they loved, so paid more to get a comfortable shoe that they knew they would wear again. The one that bought the shoes from Target isn't fashonably savvy and knew she would never wear them again, so she bought what worked. When all is said and done, they will all be wearing different shoes, but that is what I wanted.
I definitely think you can find less expensive shoes! The girls are already paying for a dress that they will probably wear only one time and remember they need to attend bridal shower and bachlorette parties, rehearsal dinners, etc. Try asking the maid of honors opinion or like mentioned above, give them guidelines and let them pick their own shoes. Noone will be looking at their feet all nite anyway.
I agree that price is relative. I have gold strappy shoes for the wedding; my sister and mom got the same ones in silver. They were $68 each, and I thought that was just fine. But I don't own very many pairs of shoes that were less than $100 - I just find that cheap shoes are uncomfortable, and wear out fast. Since I like my shoes comfortable and buy them to last, it doesn't bother me to pay more for them. (I buy most of my shoes at Nordstrom or from Zappos - haven't been into DSW or PayLess for years.)
I would also argue that metallic shoes are quite "in" now - and probably rewearable. But honestly, if your BMs don't care to wear or own silver sandals, then it's going to be $68 for a single-use pair of shoes for them.
If you can't afford to pick up the shoes, I would "suggest" those shoes, but let your girls know that something similar (silver; strappy) would be fine. That lets them buy those shoes, a $15 pair, or a $250 pair if they like.
Ok, this is going to sound horrible, but I would be pissed if I had to buy shoes I knew all my friends had! I also will venture to guess that at $65 they are probably not all the comfy! So, if I bought a pair of uncomfortable shoes that matched 4 other girls that I knew I would want to beat you with them. ;) I would go for the email with the shoe suggestions and then let it go.
I bought my shoes for $15 off ebay for an event last fall - they are silver strappy sandals - they are great with pretty much anything - silver is really wearable, especially because metallics are so in - they go great with a little black dress.
However, I have extremely picky feet, and it turns out that wearing these shoes for so long at my sister's wedding and doing so much dancing in them has aggravated the tendonitis in my foot - if she had picked them out for me, I would be so hating her right now. Unless the shoes you picked out are from Easy Spirit or Naturalizer (which mine actually were, but most people don't get tendonitis from the Prissy shoe)- or another company that makes shoes in widths from narrow to wide to fit all feet, let your bridesmaids pick their own shoes.
I do agree with the send-an-email line of thought - just put them out there as a suggestion. $65 is a lot of money to some people, especially if any of the BMs are students or don't make much money. Or just ask them to run their shoe choice by you - that way, when one says, "I have these sparkley heels from homecoming my freshman year" you can say, "shoes degenerate with time - and I don't want you to be uncomfortable" or "man, those shoes were ugly!"
I agree with the other bees in sending out an email with a specific "look" you're going for and letting them go from there. If the dresses are long, you really won't see the shoes, but if matching is important to you, what you might do is search the web for some really great heels at a discounted price - these chinese Laundry shoes are $65 at Macys, but on sale for $29.95 at Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/Chinese-Laundry-Womens-Willy-Sandal/dp/B000VYG5LS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=apparel&qid=1212663707&sr=8-1
I would try sites like www.endless.com, www.shoebuy.com, and of course, www.amazon.com.
Thanks for all the advice. I have 7 BMs, so paying for half of it would be super expensive. I went with my instinct and just emailed out suggestions. I told them I loved this shoe: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px">http://www.dsw.com/dsw_shoes/catalog/product.jsp?category=cat20165&prodId=173167&brand (those are the $65 ones I originally had in mind) I showed them a couple other pairs that I like too and told them that something along those lines would be perfect. My MOH (sis) also loves the ones I do, so she's getting them. I guess I am just happy that at least one will have my dream shoes! Mainly I just think they will look incredibly gorgeous with their dresses.
Those are gorgeous shoes! I think you did good by emailing them as an option and not as a requirement.
Those are very cute. But another thing to think about - how do they all walk in thin heels? I have very very loose ankies and would litereally fall over if I had to walk in a skinny heel - I need something with more substance. Good job with putting it out as a suggestion and not a requirement.
Oh, I remember those shoes! I tried them at Bakers and they are GORGEOUS! I would've bought them as my wedding shoes, but unfortunately they hurt my wide feet terribly from the moment I put them on. Something about the position of the embelishment- it kept rubbing the bone right over my pinky toe and I just knew I couldn't stand having them on for even 5 minutes.
So I think you did the right thing by just making the suggestion instead of imposing. Otherwise, if any of your bridesmaids have wide feet, they wouldn't have happy thoughts of you while standing on those shoes by your side.
You did the right thing purple tulips. I think those shoes are very nice, and I see why you like them, but to be honest, they are not my style, and some of your BMs might feel the same way. I would probably not want to spend the money on them because I don't think I would wear them again. For one, I don't like as much embellishment as some people do, and also, I am already taller than a lot of people, and I tend to not like wearing heels over 2 inches because then I feel like a giant. Also, they don't look very comfortable to me.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ellisrobertson | 24 |
 vorpalette |
23 |
| Brielle | 22 |
| lionskitty | 22 |
| fishbone | 22 |
| SouthernGirl | 21 |
| caseyleigh10 | 21 |
| mypinkshoes | 21 |
| kat2014 | 19 |
| les105 | 19 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| WhatPicketFence | 3 |
| Soon2BeeMrsG | 2 |
| asscherlover | 1 |
| happyface |
1 |
| 78science | 1 |
| teabiscuit | 1 |
| janetsnakehole | 1 |
| Grapey | 1 |
| Toastymama |
1 |
| Cecil | 1 |
I am debating about whether to request that my BMs purchase specific shoes or just tell them to get "silver and strappy." There are two reasons I am tempted to pick the shoes for them: 1) A couple of them wouldn't think twice about wearing old high school homecoming shoes just because they already have them 2) I found a pair of shoes I LOVE and will go great with their dresses.
The dresses are long, so I know shoes don't matter a ton, but alas, the shoes I picked are gorgeous. Is it bridezilla-ish to request they buy $65 shoes? Or is there a tactful way to make sure they don't just pull something from the backs of their closets?