bridzilla

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Here’s my real advice. Stay out of her wedding affairs. Decline to be a BM.

Next time you want to give people hints don’t.  Be straight forward. People don’t read beteen the lines, but straughtforward talk leads to straightforward understanding. 

Post # 5
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

 @CurlyCue:  +1

 

Also, why are her aunt and uncle paying for things if her mom is in the picture anyway?! Isn’t that the parents of the bride or the bride and grooms responsibility to pay for the wedding?!

Post # 7
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@jen 42713:  If you can’t decline, then could you have a talk with your mother-in-law? Tell her that it’s not right she’s being taken advantage of and she shouldn’t do anything financial involving the wedding anymore? Although, it sounds like she knows this is going on and continues to be there for her niece.. so that may put you in a tough spot.

ETA: ahh ok, just read your above post

Post # 8
Member
11712 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

No one forces anyone to pay for things they can’t afford.  It’s up to your MIL and the other adults involved to put their foot down if it’s too much of an expense.  It’s absolutely none of your business to get involved in other people’s finances.

Post # 9
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@jen 42713:  that is not what you wrote. You use “kinda” in your post. Either your MIL is being taken advantage of or not. Why tell us you hoped she would get the hint if you were direct?

 

 

 

Post # 10
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@jen 42713:  It’s not your job, your mother in law and her uncle are adults who have mouths that can be used to tell her no. Not your problem if peopel can’t stand up for themselves. It’s not like this girl is holding them at gunpoint telling them to pay for stuff. If it’s over in May then you only have 3 months left anyway.

Post # 11
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@jen 42713:  Don’t try to change this greedy bride.  She has no shame or compassion. 

Instead, talk to your MIL and the Uncle if you can and encourage and support them in saying NO.  

Tell your MIL that yes, this Bride IS only using her, is being rude in the process and doesn’t really appreciate any of it.  Encourage your MIL and Uncle to set a limit (preferably one they’ve already reached) of how much they will gift her and inform Bridezilla they have given as much as they are able and STICK TO IT rather than being treated like living ATM’s.  Tell them she will keep returning to the well until and unless it runs dry and that if this girl and her FI are old enough to get married, they are absolutely old enough to pay for their own wedding.  

Take this advise yourself.  When Greedzilla decides she simply must have that weekend in Vegas bachelorette party that you need to chip in for, shut her down and tell her no.  That you can contribute X and that’s it.  

Also realize that your MIL and the Uncle are adults and if they decide they would rathher be used than have to deal with a Zilla tantrum, well, that’s their choice and you have to respect it.  If that happens, distance yourself from the situation and even the wedding if you need too.  If your MIL and the Uncle won’t tell her no, tell them you don’t want to listen to them complain about giving in and being used.  Say it more nicely than that – but say it.  

Post # 12
Hostess
9892 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@jen 42713:  she sounds like she’s read a lot of bridal magazines that say who pays for what and she expects them to do so.

I would suggest you stay out of it.  Politely decline to be a bridesmaid, go as a guest, and just stay out of the money/planning talk.  It won’t go anywhere good.

Post # 15
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@jen 42713:  So what if it is mean, no one is forcing you to be in the wedding party.  Dresses can be returned or resold.  There’s a way out if you really want to wash your hands of it.

Your MIL  and the uncle are grown adults and need to grow a backbone.  Why are they letting their neice bully them into debt?  Even though your MIL is being taken advantage of in your opinion, money stuff between two people really isn’t any of your business.  I know it sucks to watch this happen to your MIL but there isn’t much you can do except make sure the Bridezilla doesn’t take advantage of you too.

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