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Oh my gosh! I would never send a gift to the reception. How odd. We live 4 hours away from our wedding site, so I hope people don't do that to us! But honestly, I wouldn't address it. It's too awkward to address and if there are gifts at the reception, well, cross that bridge when you get to it.
And if I was giving a card with a check, I would bring that to the recption.
I think people are going to bring the gifts that they wouldnt be able to send or feel comfortable sending like gift cards or money. Not too many people go out and buy a toaster or kitchen aid mixer anymore and they wouldnt want to haul it. if there are a lot of those gifts, arrange for your MOH or MOB to have them sent to your house.
It may be a regional thing but at all of the weddings that I have been to, the guests ALWAYS bring the gifts to the reception. My family especially think it's rude to show up to a reception "with nothing in your hand".
Having said that, if I am buying something off of an online registry, I usually have it shipped to the bride's house. In that case....I bring a card to the reception so I don't show up empty-handed. If I go into the store and purchase a gift, I usually wrap it and take it to the reception.
I would send it to their house. Thats what I hope people do for us. Who really wants to worry about gifts at a wedding!
I ship my gift and then I usually give a card with cash at the reception (for their honeymoon). I've lugged gifts from the reception to the couples home and it's such a pain. But ultimately, you take a gift as it is presented.
I always thought the gifts were sent to the bride's home (if they aren't living together before marriage...otherwise to the couple's home), whether it was cash or an actual wrapped gift.
The reason for sending gifts to the home is so that the bride and groom don't have to worry about what to do with gifts during the reception and can just leave the reception and not worry about having to packing up all the presents, some of which are likely fragile, afterwards. It also prevents worrying about gifts getting stolen...and it does happen.
Send gifts to the couple's home!
When you register, your online registry gives an option to have guests send to an address specified by you (though for privacy, the sites hide the address).
Interesting.
I didn't vote b/c I don't know the ettiquette. But I always thought that guests brought gifts/cards to the reception unless the guests (or couple) had to travel to attend the wedding. I never heard of anyone doing anything else, but I've never really asked or paid attention :)
I didn't vote either because I don't know what the technical ettiquette rule is, but personally I prefer having things sent to my home. Especially if the couple doesn't live in the town where the wedding is, it makes more sense. It means there's a lot less to transport and load into cars at the end of the night. But on the other hand, I think sometimes people feel bad walking into a wedding empty-handed.
@JamaicaBride: That's exactly how it is in my area also. I would love for people with larger gifts to send them to the house though. That'd be alot easier on us. Plus, I want to open some early. :)
I think you should definitely send it to the couple's house. It was so much easier to for us that way. Most people did that but a few did bring us gifts, big ones. Lugging the gifts in our car the next morning was so annoying, it was the last thing we wanted to do.
It is a regional thing, bc at almost all the weddings I see, there are gift tables. Seriously!
If it is breakable, I do prefer to ship it to the couple, and bring a nice card with a card from the store their gift is from inside and letting them know it is being shipped along with good wishes!
Whoops! I've brought a gift to a reception once. I guess I see why that could be annoying. In my defense, it was my first wedding. Now I just do cash so it's not an issue.
I'm with the "it's regional" crowd. There are gift tables and card boxes and every wedding I have attended. I would feel terrible shwoing up empty handed to a wedding. That said though, it's also pretty unheard of to give an actual gift for the wedding, that's for the shower. It's about 99% commonplace to give the couple a card with money or a check at the reception. I know what the almighty "Etiquette" states, but let's face it, etiquette is not everlasting, it changes through the years.
I was shocked at how many guests brought gifts to our reception, especially since we live 3 hours away and were leaving straight for our honeymoon. As a guest, I've always had it shipped to the brides parents house which is actually what etiquette dictates. Unless of course they've set up the registry to go to their own house, in which case I'm not so old fashioned to object.
If I'm giving cash I will bring that to the reception, however, sometimes I forget and mail it to their house after the fact.
I would definitely send it to the couples home or whatever the address they have listed on their registry is! The thing is if they are going on their honeymoon right after then they would have to worry about what to do with all the gifts they received!
I think the polite and proper thing is to GIVE a gift. :)
For DW's - I ship. For locals I like to wrap it personally and take it to the reception.
Granted, I haven't been to a ton of weddings, but I've never been to one without a gift table, either. In my experience, most guests bring gifts or cards to the reception, myself included (oops). Now that I know the ettiquette I might not do that anymore, but I will feel weird showing up without anything.
I hope our gifts are sent to the house bc we're getting married where we grew up-- 8 hours from where we live!!
i send gifts to the couples home when i purchase off their registry. if they don't have a registry then i take it to the reception. cards w/checks are always taken to reception.
I have always seen gift tables/boxes at receptions and always just brought my gift (having no idea of the actual etiquette rules). Now that I've been at the receiving end of that, I much prefer the "send the gift to the home" thing. Less stress for the couple! But I think you have to prepared that people will bring gifts to the reception, and have someone designated to be responsible for them.
If I buy an actual present from the registry, I mail it to the house and bring a card to the reception. If I'm giving money, I bring the check to the reception.
I've seen couples try to get gifts together after a reception and it doesn't look fun. Everyone I know prefers if the gifts are sent to the house.
Wow - this definitely must be a regional thing. I have NEVER been to a wedding where I've seen tangible gifts brought to the reception. I always see couples with a card box stationed next to the guest book - and since I'm one of the ones always with a card w/money, I drop it right into the box. There's always someone stationed to watch the card box as well.
envelopes? take with you to reception...
actual gifts, send to home. its more polite since you dont know their plans after the wedding especially if they are leaving to go on a honeymoon right after or if the wedding isnt in their hometown...
Mail those gifts, please! Save brides & grooms all that trouble of having to pack up the gifts... plus there have been several occasions when gifts have been stolen from receptions.
And to be safe, mail your gift either before or two weeks after the wedding, so that they don't arrive when the couple is on their honeymoon.
I always bring or send the gifts to the couple's home. However, every wedding that I've been to always has a gift table full of gifts, so clearly, at least in my area, I'm in the minority.
Every wedding I have been to, gifts are always taken to the reception and it is considered strange and unheard of to not do so, at least in those social circles and families. Even the prim and proper ladies in the family (and those who are acquaintances) have always seen and done this themselves.
Send it to the bride's home: prior to the wedding if she lives with her parents send it there; if she lives alone send it to her home; if she and her fiance are living together send it to their home. After the wedding send it to the couple's home.
At every wedding there will be guests who didn't think ahead, or who didn't know the etiquette, or who is carrying forward the party-going habits that they learned going to children's birtheday-parites or who didn't stop to consider how awkward it's going to be for someone to cart the stuff home (not the bride and groom if they did the traditional departure-for-the-honeymoon right from the reception so it ends up falling to their parents or wedding party!) So there will always have to be some sort of gift table to accomodate those gifts -- and unfortunately everyone sees the table there and it reinforces the bad practice.
But no-one should worry about seeming rude by showing up "empty handed". The bride, groom, and families are pre-occupied with other stuff and aren't keeping score. People come and go, run out for a smoke or to get something they forgot from the car, so there are always gift-less people coming through the door. No-one really either cares or notices. The couplewill know, when they sit down to write thank-you notes. But at that point they won't differentiate between the ones that came to the house and the ones that came to the reception.
I think most people bring them to the reception unless they can't come to the wedding. Though I think most people will understand if you are getting married away from where to live and bring less things to reception that way.
Wow. People always bring them to the reception, as far as I know. At every wedding I have ever been to. Yes, it would be nice to send them to a home, but I have never seen that. Not ever. The idea is to "not show up empty handed."
Our preference (both in giving AND recieving) is to have everything sent to the house. Everything.
1) we live fourteen hours by car from where our wedding will be, so we fly. All of my wonderful shower gifts that I got last week? They're sitting in my mom's basement until my parents come down to visit us...sometime this winter. And if I'm going to a wedding, I don't want to haul a gift with me. I'm lazy like that.
2) Stuff gets stolen from weddings. Way too common. Not cool.
It's shocking to me that people don't know to send to the house. But you so should! I am getting married in my own hometown, but even still! THe thought of having all those presents at the church and having to try to lug them home -- when we are spending that night at a hotel and leaving for Hawaii the next day -- is a nightmare!
SEND GIFTS!!! I wish more people knew!
Every wedding I have attended wedding gifts (cash or registry gift) are brought to the reception. The bestman usually loads the gifts in the bride's parents or groom's parents care and they take care of them until the couple get back from their honeymoon. In SOME cases out of town guests, order from the registry on line and ask that the gift be shipped to the store location closest to the couple.
Too much left to chance shipping a gift. I prefer it was brought to the reception, if for some reason the guest did not want to then having it available for pick up at the store closest to me or personally bringing it is fine.
I've always brought gifts to the reception (and so apparently has everyone else,) it's only been since I've been reading on here about sending the gifts, and that actually make a lot more sense! (or else, I'll just start giving money, since really that's all everyone wants anyhow...)
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Hi bees!
When reading my wedding etiquette books, it seems like the proper etiquette is to send wedding gifts to the couple's home rather than bring them with you to the reception. This is what I hope people choose to do for our wedding, since we are having it a few hours from where we live and it will be hard to get a bunch of gifts back. When I talked to my mother, FI, MOH about this, they said that they'd never heard of people sending gifts -they always bring them to the reception!
So now I'm wondering what is the polite, proper thing to do? We are going to a wedding this weekend, and I'm wondering if we should ship our gift to the couple's home or bring it to reception?
Is it polite to bring a card with a cheque or money to the reception, or should that be send to the couple's home as well?
Thanks!