Post # 1
We are having adult only rehearsal dinner and wedding. One of my bridesmaids (who has 3 kids, 2 are terrors) informed me (before we had made it well known) that her husband might have to work and she might have to bring her kids to the rehearsal. (SHe is getting a babysitter for the wedding.) I responded that my FI already told the groomsmen that it is an adult event and they are not bringing their kids and offered to help find a babysitter. She responded that she isn’t comfortable leaving them with someone she doesn’t know and that she has left them with sitters a lot lately, so that if her husband has to work, then she doesn’t have a choice. My FI and I really don’t want kids there (especially ones that aren’t well-behaved). What would you do?
Post # 3
I would try to discuss it with her again nicely, basically if she can’t get a sitter, she’ll have to skip the event if you feel that strongly.
Another option would be for you to hire someone to watch them in the next room, so while they are not involved in the party, their mother can check on them whenever she feels the need to.
Post # 4
Does she have a family member the kids could stay with?
Post # 5
If it were me, I would hold my ground and nicely explain that exceptions can’t be made because then everyone will be able to bring their kids, and you simply cannot accomodate them.
If she decides to miss the rehearsal and wedding because of something like this, well, then that’s really her loss, you know? I know plenty of people who leave their kids with recommended sitters. Just ask for references. Gheesh!
Honestly, it just sounds like she wants her kids there, based on what you’ve told us.
Post # 6
I understand her not wanting to leave the children with a babysitter, but does she have family that they can stay with? Maybe she can spend just a couple hours at the rehearsal and pick up the kids, no harm there. I also understand not wanting kids at an adult event. We don’t want them either. We love children their parents won’t enjoy themselves as much and you run the risk of them getting hurt. And if she brings her children she’s bound to open a flood gate, someone else will say, “why’d she get to bring her kids and I couldn’t?” too much drama! Good luck
Post # 7
I discussed this with the church woman who runs all wedding rehearsals, and she made it clear that the rehearsal is not an event for children (we have no children in the wedding party) since our church is poorly equipped for children (no cry room, food and drink not allowed). So what should I do? (It’s hard for me to stand up to people!)
Post # 8
Easy out — tell her what the woman from the church told you: The church is poorly equipped for children. Worse comes to worse, perhaps you could ask a family member who will not be needed to walk through the rehearsal (an aunt? an older cousin?) take the kids out for ice cream or something while Mom is busy with rehearsal, then afterwards she can go home with the kids and the rest of you can carry on with dinner or whatever you have planned. Try to be flexible with her as you don’t want her to become aggravated and pissy right before your wedding, but you need to be firm about your “no kids” policy.