Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2013 - The Skinner Barn
I’m having a bit of an issue when it comes to selecting dresses for my bridesmaids. All of my bridesmaids are very different girls with very different bodies and styles.At first, I was just going to have all of them go out and find navy blue dresses on their own but this is making me a bit uneasy. I would rather pick out 6 or 7 different styles of dresses in navy from a designer and have them select which one suits them best. Here’s the problem: 2/3 of my bridesmaids are broke. This means that I do not want to put them in dresses that they absolutely will not wear again and I have to keep prices down. I absolutely love the Bill Levkoff dresses that I have seen but I know that they are usually between $150-200 for knee length gowns.
Here are my options:
1) Tell the girls what dresses they have to choose from and hope that they just deal with it
2) Offer to pay for any costs (including alterations) above $100 [Which may put a bit of a strain on my own budget and I’m afraid may insult my fiancee’s sister who is in the bridal party]
3) Let the girls pick their own dresses in whatever price point they find reasonable
What do you guys think?
Post # 3
@FutureMrsWeston: I’d go with option 3. You can provide peramiters I think (color, legnth, maybe fabric) and let them choose. This is easiest for black dresses but not impossible by any means.
Post # 4
What makes you feel uneasy about having them find their own dresses? That seems like the best option here by far.
Post # 5
If you’re letting your girls pick their own dresses (which I agree is the best option), you can provide pictures of the Bill Levkoff dresses you liked as inspiration and guidelines. You can also request that the girls run the dresses by you first before they purchase them.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2013 - The Skinner Barn
I think I’m uneasy about them finding their own dresses because a) there are warm navys and cool navys and sometimes they clash when put next to each other and b) I’m afraid someone will buy something cheap-looking/too tight/too short, no matter what parameters I provide.
Post # 7
I vote #2. I don’t think anyone is offended for not having to pay for something…they can always insist on paying you back privately. I am outright paying for all the dresses, and just having the girls buy the shoes and pay their own alterations (which is like near splitting it). Also I chose a floor-length dress so worst case, they can wear their own shoes and it won’t be very visible anyway.
I didn’t want my Bridesmaid or Best Man dress choice to be dictated by the brokest Bridesmaid or Best Man.
I also agree Navy is a hard color to match if its not the same exact fabric. I saw a bride do wear-your-own black dress for her BMs once ( which sounds easy in theory) but it was the gamut from shiney stretch satin to gray-ish jersey cotton, and all different lengths and necklines. One wore a prom looking dress, another was in a really hoochie club dress. Hot mess.
Post # 8
#3 is best.
I don’t think so…?
a) there are warm navys and cool navys and sometimes they clash when put next to each other
You make sure they understand “wedding appropriate” attire. Or are they THAT clueless? And as far as cheap-looking, well they are broke so they won’t be able to afford anything beyond their budget…
b) I’m afraid someone will buy something cheap-looking/too tight/too short, no matter what parameters I provide.
If I were broke and were to be a bridesmaid, I would appreciate if I get to choose something I could afford and would actually like to wear.
Post # 9
I think that option #2 is a good compromise. A lot of people here are in favor of letting the BMs choose their own dress, which is cool, but if you don’t like that look it’s still acceptable to tell them what to wear. Also, I’ve seen several brides here post that letting BMs choose their own dress was more stressful because the BMs had a hard time picking dresses that met all the bride’s parameters.
Post # 10
- Wedding: July 2014 - saint patricks parish
I like option number 1. I think its a great idea if theres a choice thats a little bit less expensive. at least you not being a bridezilla like me and cutting the bridesmaids out if they cant afford it. by the way do you have the style number cause if you want I can try and help you find the same dress you wanted except less expensive.
Post # 11
id go for option 2, but go shopping together if thats possible. then you can have the final say but also hear everyones opinions and hopefully come to a compromise.
Post # 12
You can add a poll if you want to see answers from people who won’t post, but #2 seems like a good compromise. You can tell your FI’s sister that a couple of the girls are broke so you wanted to offer to cover costs over $100 for their sake in a way that was fair to avoid offending her.
Honestly, if you don’t mind having them run the dresses by you first, #3 worked out smashingly for me. I was really nervous but everyone was happy and no one had to break the bank. BUT I was pretty laid back about it; my philosophy was that a bouquet of roses may all be red, but they won’t be the exact same shade of red the whole way through, so it was okay if my bridesmaids had slight shade variations with their dresses. It is totally okay to ask everyone to wear the same exact shade if that’s not okay with you, you’re paying for photography, you may as well not settle if it would bug you. Here’s a picture for reference.
Post # 13
@FutureMrsWeston: Could you get them a sample of the navy colours you would like? If you go to a shop that sells materials, you could get a few squares for next to nothing and would be a great way for your BMs to have a clearer idea of the shades you want.
EDIT: Also Christmas is coming up and are always followed up with some amazing sales – and Navy tends to be quite a popular winter colour so maybe it would be a good idea to organize a shopping trip with your BMs around this time?
Post # 14
I think option 2 is the best if you’re concerned about the cohesiveness of the entire look. Honestly, I don’t like the look of mismatched bridesmaid dresses, and I could see this going badly. I get your point about different shades/tones of navy, and while they wouldn’t clash, it would be noticeable.
I opted to pay for half of my girls dresses out of concern for their finances and let them pick their own shoes (just the same color). It is, after all, my wedding, not theirs, and the only reason they were spending money on this dress was for me.
Post # 15
Can you try looking on Black Friday or Boxing Day? What about replica dresses?
Post # 16
I don’t know. I can see why you would want them to all have the same dress or similar because it’s YOUR wedding and it’s just something that comes along with being a bridesmaid. I kind of like option #2 the best.