Post # 1
Hey bees, calling all sad, broke newlyweds… Me & the Mr. are enjoying being married, but our dire financial situation is really getting to me. We’ve had a job loss & other situations which have left us with basically no savings, no insurance, and a whole lot of stress. We’ve cut our monthly expenses by a few hundred dollars already and don’t go out at all anymore (ok we get coffee once a week, but $5 for sanity is an ok value in my mind). I’m looking for weekend work, and for now his unemployment & my full time job is carrying us through this difficult time…but barely. We’re also about $19,000 in debt w/ student loans & cc. Anyone else struggle at the beginning of their marriage? I know we’ll get through it and rebuild cause we’ve done it before, but I’m just exhausted.
Post # 3
FI went to a very pricey law school, so we’ll be dealing with that for many years to come. Sometimes I think it’ll never go away… but we’ve budgeted for his loan payments and it shouldn’t be a burden, unless there’s a job loss..
Post # 4
@VioletSky: I find that every couple struggles in one way or another in their first year, either financially, phsyically or from outside influences of stress and strain….it will get better, and in the meantime, it’s ok to reach out to friends and family, not for money, but support. I had a pair of friends that had hit really hard financial times, had to stay in a hotel with no kitchen, so we invited them over for dinner once a week, that way it’s a nice break from their stuff and their room AND you get to eat yummy food!
Don’t be afraid or embarasse to admit times are hard, it happens to the best of us, and the ones that have been down the road before you can certainly offer support and friendship through it!
Post # 5
We didn’t have debt. If you’re lucky enough to not have student loans, or get married later after your careers are established and those loans are paid off/you have a nice stash in savings, you don’t stuggle as much as newlyweds.
I definitely paid my “struggling” dues as an undergrad and grad student, though!
Post # 6
Student loans + a ton of credit card debt from being stupid. :/
Post # 7
@VioletSky: Well we married in our 30s, and I was completely debt free and H only had the mortgage which is now “ours.” No credit cards, no car payments, no student loans.
However, in my early 20s I was po’ po’ po’! I recall getting a $600 paycheck for the entire month and bawling my eyes out! (I had no vacation days so 2 weeks of that I flew home to visit family.) What a difference a few years makes! It’s going to turn around for you guys – but you need to focus on wise decisions from here on out.
Examine every expense you have.
Do you have iPhones? Cable? Internet? Could your rent be cheaper? What precent of your rent is your take home (your income plus the unemployment)?
Can you look into student loan income-based repayments?
Post # 8
@Nona99: +1. This exactly.
To OP, I totally agree with the reaching out for support. During our first year we had some pretty tough financial times, so we starting a rotating pot luck for dinners. It was nice to just get out and go to a friends house. We we’re going to make dinner anyway, so it was no big deal to make just one dish to serve six or so. And, the laughing and interaction with friends made it so we had something to look forward to all week.
During the weekends, we would pack picnics and walk to the park. There are tons of cheap or free date ideas on the internet.
As for the student loans, see if you can consolidate for cheaper payments.
You will get through this, I promise! The bee is here for support! Good Luck and hugs!!
Post # 9
We have about $130k total in debt (we’re not borrowing money for the wedding), but we just bought a house.
Post # 10
@VioletSky: Girl, I hear you. I am getting married on April 16 and FI is due to move in on April 1. We too are struggling. He lost his job and has been trying to get a new one, but this is forcing him to move in with me into a TINY 465 sq foot apartment. I own the apartment and have a mortgage on it, so moving out and trying to find another place is not so easy, and doesnt feel like the wisest thing to do while he is not working.
We are eloping to save money, and are having a low-cost family wedding lunch afterward. But I find myself wishing I could have a regular wedding, and I wish that we were moving into a house or apartment where we just have space to move around.
Almost every conversation we have seems to center around anxiety, money, unemployment, small spaces and the lack of sex we are having.
However I love the guy to death and believe that greener pastures must be ahead–you will get those too!
Post # 11
No real credit card debt (other than what I put on it monthly), just some student loans right now (will be about $40K between us when we get married). However, a lot of my spare money is going to the wedding/honeymoon right now, so it’s tighter than it would be if I didn’t have that to pay for. I’ve had to purchase 3 plane tickets within the last month, so I told FI all he gets for dinner are my bean and rice burritos and mac and cheese for the next month
No house yet though.
Post # 12
I was doing great, we were all set up to buy a house and then?
The house deal fell through, I was laid off and he is close to being laid off too. My unemployment ran out and now I work part time for less than a third of what I was making at my other job. Things super suck right now. I’m hoping to pick up a new good paying job but I can’t seem to get one that isn’t a temp stint. I’m done being a temp. Everytime I get to a good place financially the assignment ends without a full time hire or I am laid off.
So I’m trying to be patient and get an actual full time job. With all the temp time I’ve gained a lot of experience. Here’s to hoping.
We have paid off some debt but have a good deal left. I have student loans which are pretty reasonable considering but I am currently too poor to make payments on them. I owe 8K on an older car, he owes more like 15K on a new one and together we have less than 5K in credit card bills.
Things could be worse but there not awesome by anymeans right now.
Post # 13
Ayyye! Broke newlywed, here! The past seven months have been so hard for us, the hardest of our entire relationship. It is so rough. I am so glad you started this thread because I’ve been wondering if others are struggling the way we are. I get on here and see these $50- $60K wedding budgets and I feel like a pauper.
I have student loans, but they have no gone into re-payment yet because I am still in school for a few more months. That total is around $22K-ish.
Credit card debt is around $3,000. Not bad, according to some, but bad to me! I want it to be $0!
I am unemployed and DH’s work is not consistent or stable. Before our wedding, we were “rolling in it.” He was working 60 hrs. a week, sometimes. Then, he took two weeks off for our DW and when we got home we were immediately thrust into reality. We were broke from paying for our wedding and paying bills before we left, plus travel expenses. We struggled from late July to early September. Then, things were great again. Only to fall off around the end of November/beginning of December. DH has worked, on average, one day per week since December 1st!
Post # 14
Thanks for all the bee-love and advice, I will take it all to heart <3
Nona99: I def need to work on the embarrasment issue, it’s just plain silly. You’re a great friend! I’m sure those dinners meant alot to them.
sienna76: lol po’ po’ po’ indeed! we are serious about tackling this and moving forward by cutting back, which is the one comforting thing…I know we’re trying, even if sometimes we’re treading water. Cut cable & phone, need internet for work, but reduced the monthly cost…our rent is 31% of income. Cell phones are a PAIN we have a year left on contract but I’m going to look into breaking contract & if it would save us in the long run to switch to Straight Talk. We’ve been making the student loans work so for now I want to keep paying more – but income based repayments are definitely a great idea if things get any worse. Thank you!
lovemoore: I might start doing potlucks, what a great idea! all our friends are broke too so it’d work out for all of us : )
mimi123: 465sq ft, you are BRAVE woman! : ) I’m dying to move too, we live in a crap neighborhood, but it’s not feasible right now for us either. Your elopement will be wonderful! & i hear ya on the convo topics!
Post # 15
@VioletSky: Do you know what you spend on just food/eating/misc/auto/Rx/etc every month? If not, start tracking every penny! I can email you my spreadsheet, but I think only I can understand it LOL.
When I was in grad school and cut my hours back, my mortgage was 47% of my take home, but I still lived on what was left. So to put numbers on it, I took home $1922 a month and my mortage was $900, so I lived on $1000 without using any debt.
I use PagePlus Cellular and it’s $29.95/mo for unlimited text and 1200 minutes (I never use it all). They have plans that go as low as $10/mo.
Post # 16
kes18: hehe alot of beans, rice, & macs at our house too!
Mrs Christopher: I’m so sorry to hear that. Two years ago we were in the temp job loop…it’s so frustrating to have no job security whatsoever! Since then we’ve taken turns getting laid off, i’m working for a lot less than i used to…it sucks! Temp jobs are good for experience though, and I really hope you get a full time job soon <3
Pinksapphire: Before our wedding, we were “rolling in it.” Same here! I mean not rolling in it lol, but had way more $ coming in. I’m kicking myself for not saving more at the time. Lesson learned ::sigh:: I feel like we got slapped back to reality as well…I keep telling myself that this’ll all be funny in 20 years, and we’ll look back and be stronger for going through this. Let’s hope things get better soon!