Post # 1
I have been living with my boyfriend for almost three yrs. We got engaged two months ago. About a week ago he said that he wants to slow down some but did not want to lose me. He suggestes me moving out and then go back to dating but i am confused. He said he cares about me and does not want to hurt me but right now he does not know what he wants. What is happening? I am still living with him until i find a place? I want to believe he is being honest with me. Can a relationship come back after something like this?
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
For me, I would break it off completely. I would worry too much about trusting him & pulling the rug out from underneath me again. Is there something specific/recurring that spurred this decision from him?
Post # 3
That’s really weird. Seems completely out of left field, too. Have you guys been arguing more lately? Did you push him into proposing when he wasn’t totally ready to do it?
Post # 5
I think what PPs are saying is, we need more information to give you solid advice. There is no way that anyone can say whether or not your relationship will bounce back from this without knowing more background…. but I can understand if you’re uncomfortable sharing that type of information on the internet.
Post # 6
It sounds like he’s having second thoughts as to whether you’re “the one” but doesn’t want to lose you in case it turns out you really are “the one” — if that’s the case, I personally would probably break it off. It’s not fair to you to sit in the wings while he tries to have his cake and eat it too.
But before making any moves, you need to sit down and have a meaningful conversation with him to figure out exactly what’s going on and what prompted him to want to do this. Then, based on his explanations (and how much you think those explanations are legit and not just excuses), determine how you want to proceed. You can’t really make an informed decision about the relationship until you know more about what he’s thinking.
Post # 7
Jbeard: I’d be outta there. I think he doesn’t want to be with you anymore.
Post # 8
Jbeard: I’m so sorry! Did anything transpire in the past 2 months that could account for him doing a complete 180? If nothing major has happened, I think it would be best to move out and cut ties completely ASAP. He sounds unstable and untrustworthy.
Post # 9
I could understand slowing down with wedding plans or buying a house. But asking you to move out after getting engaged when you have been together for 3 years seems very strange. I think you should sit down and really talk about what is going on. I would personally end it if it were me. If you have been together for 3 years and he doesn’t know what he wants as he said then it sounds like he doesn’t want you and doesn’t want to commit to being with just one person. Good luck. Make sure you make yourself the number one priority. You deserve to be happy and not someone’s back up plan.
Post # 10
It sounds like he wants to break up but is too much of a coward and he’s “softening the blow”. Id do yourself and him a favor and just end the relationship.
Post # 11
Jbeard: I could be totally wrong, but from my experience this is a sign that he is interested in someone else. It has caused him to doubt whether or not you are “the one”. He at least has the decency to take a step back from the relationship. But he has put you in a horrible position. You have to sit around while he figures out what he wants.
Regardless of whether this is being caused by another woman, or some other internal doubts, the best thing you can do once he moves out is have no contact for 8 weeks. He needs to miss you in order to really feel like what it would be like once you are out of his life.
Post # 12
I wondered the same thing–is there someone else?