Post # 1
I’ve been dating since I was 13, I have had time single. My fiance broke our engagement in July, I asked him to marry me in May after two years together and him saying he wanted to get married. He said he didn’t want what I wanted and he felt like he should be single. he updated his facebook within 20 minutes of the break up, stopped speaking to me and hasn’t asked our friends about me or expressed any public grief.
I have done all the stuff people recommend during a break up, even the horrible stuff like donating my wedding dress to goodwill, telling my grandparents it is off, enduring bumping into acquaintances that don’t know. My friend celebrated her third wedding anniversary today by posting a wedding photo on FB, I cried at my desk.
I saw my ex last week, he was nice as pie and says that it is ‘killing him’ but the best he could do was see if we could be friends and ‘see what happens’ when what has happened is that he has left me.
I am casually dating a divorcee who has pursued me pretty hard but I feel torn about it. I know I don’t want my ex back but I feel so emotional and sensitive and this new guy’s kidding around about marriage with me tonight left me in tears when I put the phone down.
What is wrong with me that guys think my desire to get married eventually (not to them) is ridiculous and worthy of a laugh? Is it wrong, at 28, to hope for a future with a guy after a good period of time? I’m not a bridezilla with a wedding scrapbook or a hunger for a thousand dollar ring. I just hope that one day a man will look at me and want to make me his wife.
I wish I could kill my desire for marriage because even though I am active and fulfilled in the rest of my life, I hunger and I know it’s stupid, I am starting to feel like it will never happen for me.
Post # 3
@Titania26: Hugs! There is nothing wrong with you for wanting all those things! Unfortunately, sometimes the things we want in life don’t come as fast as we would like. If it is really eating at you I suggest talking to a counsellor.
Post # 4
Breakups suck! Maybe you just need a little more time before you get back out in the dating world.
I think you just haven’t met the right man yet. If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t meet my husband until I was 29!
Post # 5
Heey lady, don’t feel sad. First of all, I’m sorry youre going thru this, 2nd im so glad you’re not back with your ex (& please DON’T) cuz he’s a freakin D!ck okay?! He probably “called it off” cuz he met someone and that’s why he’s so fresh like nothing happened while you’re suffering.. Seriously, I hate guys like that, they’re not even worth a tear.
About the guy ur dating, the divorcee,. Do you happen to know why diit his marriage failed? Cuz maybe that will give u a hint of what’s going through his mind about marriage.. And I’m SURE you won’t be forever alone girly, I like to think we all have a “someone” to complete us.. So yours might be having a hard time looking for you too okay? Don’t over think this cuz it will lead you to depression.. Try to get a hobbie and if you don’t feel like dating, don’t date. Love will come by itself you don’t have to rush, try to use this time to know yourselfsand try to find what is what you’re looking for. You dont need a guy to be happy. A guy is just your company through your journey of life, NOT your life itself.
FeeL free to pm if u feel down, good luck lady!:)
Post # 6
What you’re going through is completely normal. You had certain expectations for your future, and you’re adjusting to a massive change in that future. And going from “gonna marry this guy” to “single and looking” can take longer than a couple months.
It’s good that you’re dating again. And I think you should be up front with this guy, and let him know that your broken engagement is still too recent and him joking about marriage really hurts you. (If he’s worth continuing to see, he’ll stop.)
You *will* meet someone who will be right for you. It might not be the guy you’re seeiing now. It might not be the next one. But it will happen. You just have to relax and enjoy the ride until it does.
Post # 7
Hang in there. e clearly is not the one for you and you and deserve better. If any thing, it is probably better to know that he doesn’t love you as much as you love him now instead of finding out after the wedding. On another note; don’t ever think that something is wrong with you for wanting something as legitimate,traditional, and natural as marriage. There are men out there who literally cannot wait to meet their future wife and mother of their children- I’ve met plenty! I hope you will soon 🙂
Post # 8
Read “Act like a lady, think like a man” by Steve Harvey.
It’s funny (the guy’s a comedian) but it’s also a frank, candid and honest way to approach any relationship. I always just thought if I was an awesome Girlfriend that the man I was with would step up and put a ring on it. This book opened my eyes to the reality of how wrong that idea was!
Steve puts into perspective what I wanted out of my relatonships and taugh me how to ask for it. The next guy that I met that started looking promising for long term growth, I told him straight up what I was looking for and he rose to the challenge. I’ll be marrying him in a little over a year!
Seriously…get the book!