Broken Engagements

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you (or someone you know) broken an engagement?
    Yes, I have broken off an engagement in the past : (35 votes)
    13 %
    No, I have never broken an engagement : (89 votes)
    32 %
    I know someone who has broken off an engagement : (109 votes)
    40 %
    I don't know of anyone who has ever broken an engagement : (36 votes)
    13 %
    I knew I should have broken off a prior engagement and we ended in divorce : (6 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4216 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I have one friend that broke off her engagement. She is now married to a wonderful man. It was hard on her, but the guy was a dick. Break ups are very hard, but not as hard as being married to an asshole. 

    I also have several friends who divorced or separated very shortly after getting married. It’s not so uncommon. I don’t know of any of them that haven’t moved on and become far happier. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1259 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I have a family member who broke off her engagement because she is a lesbian. They had the wedding planned, invitations sent out, and in the end did not go through with it. Her parents are very strict and religious and very against homosexuality.

    She is now married to her partner and seems so happy. Her parents did not attend the wedding though 🙁

    Post # 5
    Member
    518 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I have a friend who had her engagement ended by her (ex) fiance.  Of course, at the time, she thought the world was ending, but truth be told, none of us thought the engagement was a good idea anyway, so I knew it was for the best (and she now recognizes it, too).  I think it’s more common than many people think.

    Post # 6
    Member
    518 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I have a friend who had her engagement ended by her (ex) fiance.  Of course, at the time, she thought the world was ending, but truth be told, none of us thought the engagement was a good idea anyway, so I knew it was for the best (and she now recognizes it, too).  I think it’s more common than many people think.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2675 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

    I have a friend who’s sister broke of three engagements. Many were when she was in her late teens/early twenties. She is now openly in a same sex relationship. No one was against this and everyone around her is very accepting.

    An EX of mine broke off his engagement when he found out his FI was sleeping with her boss. I only know this because he called me crying about it (WTH?) because he thought it was karma for him cheating on me with her.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1373 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    @SweetFlower:  my best friend and one if FI best friends broke off their engagement.

    FI friend moved to another province to get away from all the heartache and then they got back together and now she’s moving there with him!!

    This bee is miffed 🙁 I want them to be happy together but not so far away!

    Selfish bee (shamefully) out

    Post # 9
    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I broke off my engagment years ago.  He was immature, had an awful temper and and cheated on me.  I met my now husband 4 years later and we’re very happy!  I feel so lucky I didn’t marry that other guy.  I know that we would’ve been divorced by now.  Right after the breakup though, I was wreck.  It was hard to see the positives and I felt like a failure, especially since so many people I knew from school were getting married.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2305 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    When I was 19, my friend got engaged to a guy she had been dating for close to a year. I wasn’t very fond of the guy, but I knew nothing I said was gonna change her mind, and fortunately they were having a long (2-year) engagement, so I just kept my mouth shut.

    Well, it turns out after they got engaged, she started to find out that he was not quite as-advertised. He didn’t physically abuse her (that I am aware of), but he started displaying some fairly alarming/controlling behavior.

    So with less than a year left until the wedding, she called off the engagement- but not before she had taken a trip to NYC to purchase her dress, not before they’d paid their venue deposits, and not before he had spent the $4 thousand that HER parents had given them for a house downpayment on a house that she had told him she hated and wouldn’t live in. And of course the house was in his name only. I don’t think she ever saw any of that money again.

    We don’t live nearby anymore, so we’ve kind of grown apart, but as far as I know she is currently single. But she’s young (only 22) and is infinitely better off without this guy.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2576 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    A friend of a friend broke off his engagement a few years ago. His fiancee cheated on him. Yup, that would do it.

    A college acquiantance also broke off his engagement with his fiancee. I don’t think there was cheating, but you could tell right away they were wrong for each other. He was very stable, calm, and preferred dinner out at a Boston restaurant as his “fun time.” His fiancee loved going to clubs and was your typical Miami party girl. Just not a good match.

    Another group of college friends broke off their engagement. She was younger and wanted to have fun and discover new places whereas he was on his way to becoming a pastor in some very remote and rural state (Wyoming?). Totally different paths – they broke it off.

    A friend of mine was engaged with her bf of six years, but the bf ended up dumping her unable to go through the marriage.

    And those are just the ones I can think of right now… So yeah, pretty common.

    Post # 12
    Member
    721 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    i got engaged at 19 and we had a long engagement and about 9 months before the engagement i called it off. i am now with current fiance and so happy that i had the courage to do that! my mom always told me how proud of me she was because it is hard to break off an engagement

    Post # 13
    Member
    534 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    My cousin broke off an engagement and ended up with an amazing man.  They are still married 16 years later.

    I voted that I didn’t break off an engagement but should have and ended up divorced.  My ex-husband wasn’t a bad person, we just didn’t know each other well enough to get married and I was really nervous about the whole thing, but marriage felt like a big “adventure” and I thought that we didn’t believe in divorce so it would be fine.  I don’t regret where I’ve ended up and I’m sure I wouldn’t be “here” without having had that experience, but still, it would have saved me a lot of heartache to never have been married.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2052 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    A friend of mine broke off her engagement and it was a good decision. He wasn’t a bad guy, just very lazy, unambitious and lacking in social skills. She decided in the end that he wasn’t making her happy. We were all relieved.

    Post # 15
    Member
    7654 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @SweetFlower:  I broke off an engagement. I am going to be really quick and broad because I am under a time crunch but ask any questions, and I will answer.

    I dated a guy for 3 years when we got engaged. We were young, lived together, I had a great job, and well he had nothing pretty much. He was in college and had a job at the clothing store, but he was letting his college go to shit without me knowing and while he was working for a short period of time he was also spending that money on clothing that cost more than he was being paid. I stayed even though he was a complete asshole because I thought at 21 I wouldn’t find anyone else becuase I worked so much and didn’t go out to bars.

    It took one incident (which many people might not think was so bad) to help me make the decision to throw him out and break off the engagement. At that point I had only had the photographer deposit and venue deposit to miss out on. I had already purchased my dress, shoes and veil as well as several decorations.

    I was able to put all of that to good use when I finally did find a man deserving of my time and love, and I couldn’t be happier. I was a stupid young girl who felt there was no way out and was willing to put up with anything to not be alone. Once I got back out into the dating world I realized how easy it really is to start dating again.

    Post # 16
    Member
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    If he was a jerk and she didn’t feel right about it, that certainly doesn’t make her a failure. It makes her strong! She needs to change her mindset! I don’t know many people who would do that, most would just get married anwyay and then end up unhappy/divorced.

     

    My step sister cancelled her wedding 6 weeks prior. We all supported her, and she maintains it was the best decisions she ever made. At times she will talk about when she thinks about him and she misses the good stuff, and then she reminds herself of what her life would be like at this moment had she married him

     

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